If you are a woman who has had a hard time in the past keeping promises to yourself, welcome; I too am a promise breaker. Committing to myself was a unicorn for many years until I committed to stop drinking at forty-five.
The difference between a promise and a commitment is a promise a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified, and a commitment is an agreement or pledge to do something in the future.
One of the biggest things for me before I quit drinking, for two years, was the fact that I was setting myself up for disappointment ALL of the time by breaking promises I knew that I could not keep.
I had no trust in myself NO confidence - and I accepted the fact that I would continue on the cycle for the REST OF MY LIFE.
Listen in as I breakdown my top five and see how it resonates with you. Grab your journal and start tracking your BS; I promise you will feel better once you do it.
You may need to lower expectations a bit and stick to what you can do realistically.
Example: I will not drink again and will do whatever it takes to hold onto that commitment. I didn’t say; I will not drink again and not eat sugar.
I ate sugar!
When you make too many commitments, you end up doing nothing!
Haven't you heard; your why matters?
If you don't have a burning desire inside of you to change what isn't working because (fill in the blank) and that because (your why) isn't BIG, chances are you won't stick to your commitment.
Example: I want to quit drinking so bad because I can no longer live a life that is full of lies, regret, guilt, and shame. I know that if I can quit drinking, I can get to the bottom of why I'm so miserable, and be happier with myself.
Write your WHY down on five different post-it notes and stick them all over your house and in your car for a BIG reminder daily.
The witching hour, the person at work that drives you crazy all day and makes you want to drink all night, and the boredom that sits in if you are sitting on the couch watching t.v.
If you keep putting off what you want most in life because you can't get through a couple of hours of stress or feeling like you deserve a drink (or fill in the blank), then you need a plan in place.
Your plan needs to be simple and effective. Write down a few things that you can do instead of drinking or overeating or shopping online - whatever you are trying to commit to not doing.
Journal on this: I will _______________when I want to drink because this will help me clear my head and re-focus myself toward my bigger why.
Example: I will call Joanna when I want to drink because she will help me get centered and hold me to my commitment.
There has never been anything as life-changing for me than accountability.
Knowing that someone else knows my commitment will help me stay true to it easier than if I did it on my own. When you are on your own, you can talk yourself into going backward smoothly.
Sit in a quiet place and tap into your higher self-awareness. I want you to get very honest with yourself. Grab a journal and write down ALL of your BS stories and negotiations with yourself.
My example: I’m not going to drink next Sunday, but I did it anyway.
The BS I told myself at that moment was it's okay, you won’t drink that much, drink a lot of water, cut yourself off at 4;00 p.m., don’t drink wine, only champagne; it was all BS!
A person (like me) who continually breaks her promise will ALWAYS find a way to justify and sugar coat what she wants most right now.
Lastly, I will leave you with a challenge.
Always reach out to me, I would love to hear from you and what you have come up with.