The Blog

Making Friends on Instagram

 

 

 

Some of us have an easier time than others putting themselves out there to make new friends, especially as we age. Our "in-real-life" relationships may start to change due to your career, divorce, or lifestyle change, like getting sober. 

 

Sometimes, a relationship from yesteryear fades away without reason. Have you ever been left holding the "old friend" bag of confusion and heartbreak? I think we all have at one point or another, so what is a midlife gal to do? 

 

Where do you meet new female friends who "get you" and share your same passion and purpose? 

 

If it were last year at this time, I would say go to a live event focused on a topic you are interested in or take an exercise class or cooking class. But, in 2020, our live events have been canceled, and our get-togethers in person are rare. 

 

In 2020, our mental health needs friendship and connection more than ever, and so many women are struggling with loneliness...

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Celebrate National Sober Day Every Day

midlife sober lifestyle Jul 14, 2020

National Sober Day is September 14th, but you don't have to wait to celebrate! 

 

Getting sober in the middle of life is one of the hardest, messiest, joyful, exhilarating experiences you will ever have. It's an event that needs recognition and celebration every chance you get. 

 

When I first got sober, I kept it to myself for the most part. Sure, my husband and son knew, but my close friends were on a need to know basis. Why? Because I felt like getting sober was embarrassing, it was something to feel shameful of and hide. 

 

Well, not anymore! 

 

In 2015, I joined Instagram under the anonymous handle "To 50 and Beyond" to talk about the Whole30. I quickly realized that other people were talking about sobriety. 

 

Who knew?! 

 

I began to come out of the sobriety closet and share my most profound darkest moments. I was sweaty and scared every time I hit publish on a post, but the more I posted, the more I felt heard and...

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What I Would Do If I Had to Get Sober Again

midlife sober lifestyle Jul 07, 2020

I can not go back in time, I wouldn't want to, and I'm definitely not sharing this post because I feel like I'm going to relapse. I'm writing this to share with women in the middle of life who are struggling to make sobriety stick. 

 

I'm here for you. I know how hard it is to make the decision to quit drinking, so this is my rewind for you to share what worked, and what didn't after I quit drinking.

  

On August 11, 2013, I didn't know anyone else like me, a woman on the brink of a breakdown trying to escape life through two bottles of Chardonnay in one sitting. 

 

I started drinking in 1982; alcohol was literally my lifeline.

 

I was scared and clueless when I announced (to myself) I can't drink anymore; I have to quit. But how?! As I stood over the sink pouring out my sweet (pricey) Chardonnay, I cried like a baby! 

 

My first thought was, I will not give in, and if I do, I will go to AA. 

 

Let me tell you, I...

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Should You Quit Drinking or Moderate?

sober lifestyle Jun 27, 2020

If you are trying to come to terms with your drinking in the middle of life, you are in the right place. Drinking isn't the same as it used to be, and your mind and body are changing, can alcohol co-exist in midlife? 

 

I was a go-all-in drinker. From the time I took my first sip at fourteen to my last sip at forty-five, I pounded beer, wine, and champagne; lot's of time all three together. 

 

At forty-five, during perimenopause, I began to ask myself (regularly), how much is too much, and will it ever be enough?

 

I tried making rules only to drink red wine, not my beloved Chardonnay. 

 

I tried drinking only on Saturday even though Sunday was my most favorite day to get drunk. Also, Friday. 

 

I tried to convince myself that I didn't have a "problem" and that everyone drank. 

 

I tried believing my excuses and justifications, but they were no longer convincing. 

 

I tried. 

 

I tried to make "alcohol...

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The Positive Side of FOMO in Midlife

midlife sober lifestyle Jun 16, 2020

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FOMO in the middle of life takes on a new meaning. The biggest question is not what you will miss out on if (fill in the blank) but what you will miss out on in life if you don't (fill in the blank.) 

 

In episode 120 of the To 50 and Beyond podcast, I talk about the fear when I quit drinking and challenging belief's that alcohol is fun in midlife and how to lean into fear instead of embrace it to start living your desired life.

 

The Fear of Missing Out overall is a feeling that you are not included. 

 

The inclusion of people of all races, sexual preferences, and people who don't have the physical capability to do what I can do. I don't want to ever take anything for granted - this year has changed me, but I don't know the realm of the change, and that's okay. 

 

Inclusion coincides with the questions I have been asking myself to learn about my privilege and where I've...

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How to Manifest the Life You Want


 

Manifesting the life you want and deserve works! Think about this, you focus on bad stuff happening, and they happen, so why not focus on great things and make those happen too! 

 

My guest on episode 118 of the To 50 and Beyond podcast is Jerilynn Stephens, author of the new book, The Five "F" Words to Manifesting Your Life. 

 

 

Jerilynn has been consciously manifesting the life of her dreams for the last sixteen years. It was through study, practice, and patience that she decoded the keys to manifestation. During a particularly rough time of struggling with alcohol, she hit rock bottom and picked up a book that introduced her to the world of co-creating with the Universe. 

 

Jerilynn walks you through how manifestation can change your life by using the five "F" words: 

 

  1. Figure 
  2. Focus
  3. Fearless Action
  4. Feel It 
  5. Faith 

 

Jerilynn talks about how you must figure out what you want to manifest your desires....

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Yes, Alcohol Ages You Faster!

 

  

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In episode 117 of the To 50 and Beyond podcast - I talk about the physical, psychological, and social effects that stem from a long period of alcohol consumption and answer a question for a listener. 

 

Do you think alcohol makes you age faster? I feel like my face is changing daily - I workout, eat well, take vitamins, and use expensive skincare - is it the alcohol?! 

 

Brace yourself for the answer; yes! 

 

The apparent reason why is because alcohol is a diuretic, and it dehydrates you. It has both stimulating effects and sedating effects, so it disrupts your sleep - two of the biggest factors to looking older than you are. 

 

You get up in the morning tired and try vs. rested and moisturized. I don't know about you, but I will take rested and moisturized any day! 

 

When I was in my early forties, I woke up one morning and...

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Finding Love Again in Recovery

 

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Recovery from alcohol addiction brings hope, healing, and a chance to start again. Jennifer Golden is living proof that you can change your life and change your relationships once you get sober. For a long time, Jennifer lived a life where every ounce of energy she went to drinking alcohol. 

 

Jennifer's life revolved around when, where, how, and how much she could drink. But on August 12, 2015, she woke up, looked in the mirror, and said NO MORE. She joined the local gym and found that working out took her mind off of drinking. So she kept going every day. She is now 4 1/2 years sober, and the blessings keep coming! She loves to share my purpose in her story to help others who are suffering because you aren't alone, and we do recover. 

 

Jennifer is a mom to a 12-year-old boy, works full time in the garbage industry, and is an independent representative for an Activewear company...

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Sobriety Questions Answered

sober lifestyle Apr 28, 2020

The following is a compilation of frequently asked questions that I receive from women all over the world who are tired of drinking and ready to explore what else life has to offer. Women over 40 who are questioning their drinking and trying to make it work. 

 

 

 

I know where you are, you are questioning your drinking and wondering What will life be like if I don't drink? Your brain wants to tell you, you can't, you shouldn't, life will be boring and you will be left out. 

  

To quit drinking is a commitment to yourself that happens in a span of a few minutes. Many women over 40 who I talk to think that it takes years to stop drinking; it doesn't. Spending years in recovery and healing and connecting to who you are again; alcohol-free is the process of sobriety. 

 

I want to tell you that I never thought I would adapt to being sober after drinking for thirty-years. Alcohol was a big part of who I thought I was and what I thought I...

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What it Means to Live a Sober Lifestyle

 

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I want to give you good news! There is nothing to dread in living life without alcohol. It is not boring, it is not isolating, and it is not something to miss out on as you age.

 

A sober lifestyle is not about quitting drinking; it's about what you do next. Taking care of your mental and physical health and paying attention to yourself vs. avoidance.

 

A sober lifestyle supports you in becoming a woman who no longer needs to drink. 

  

A sober lifestyle is a simple plan that helps you get up in the morning take care of yourself first thing not put yourself off, so the stresses of your day end up causing you to drink at the end of the day. 

 

Simple, not easy. 

 

The reason I drank for so many years is that I didn't want to pay attention to a solution to more happiness and better tools to manage my stress and social anxiety, I tried to numb out and...

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