The Blog

Let's Not Be Normal Together

Oct 14, 2020

The definition of normal is: conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. 

I know you, you are here because you want more for yourself and your life. You are not willing to conform to a standard, usual, typical or expected (mid) life.

This blog post entry is inspired by a thought that came to my mind the minute I woke up yesterday at 4:45 am: alcohol and drinking is so normal, why does anyone want to be normal?. 

I got up out of bed, did my potty and drank my water and then quickly hurried down the hall in my pink hearted capri pajamas. 

My husband was sitting on the couch drinking his coffee (he leaves at 5:30 am every morning and likes his “me time”) and I said “don’t worry, I’m grabbing my journal and going back in the room.” 

I got back in bed and I wrote down all of my feelings on the thought that seems to be permeating my mind recently. 

Why in the heck is normal even a thing in the middle of...

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What I Would Do If I Had to Get Sober Again

Oct 06, 2020

I can not go back in time, I wouldn't want to, and I'm definitely not sharing this post because I feel like I'm going to relapse. I'm writing this to share with women in the middle of life who are struggling to make sobriety stick.  

I'm here for you. I know how hard it is to make the decision to quit drinking, so this is my rewind for you to share what worked, and what didn't after I quit drinking.  

On August 11, 2013, I didn't know anyone else like me, a woman on the brink of a breakdown trying to escape life through two bottles of Chardonnay in one sitting.  

I started drinking in 1982; alcohol was literally my lifeline. 

I was scared and clueless when I announced (to myself) I can't drink anymore; I have to quit. But how?! As I stood over the sink pouring out my sweet (pricey) Chardonnay, I cried like a baby!  

My first thought was, I will not give in, and if I do, I will go to AA.  

Let me tell you, I believe in...

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The Face of Addiction in Midlife

Sep 02, 2020

I remember when I was presented with the first remark about me being an alcoholic. It was from a family member as we stood in a bar day drinking, and I was shocked by the accusation. 

Are you kidding me?! I don't drink every day; I don't black out every time I drink, I've never been arrested for my drinking, I fully function as a proud functioning alcoholic. 

I'm completely offended as I took another chug off of my chardonnay glass. 

Let me backtrack a bit before I continue with this story; I started drinking at fourteen, and I was about 43 when this happened. 

At forty-three, I probably shouldn't have been as shocked by this statement, but it honestly had never crossed my mind that I may be an alcoholic. I was a party girl, the gal who could drink anyone under the table and get up the next day and do it all over again, until my thirties. 

So, when I heard the term alcoholic, I brushed it off and argued my case, and the next day, I Googled, "Am I an...

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Do You Need a Last Hurrah Before You Quit Drinking?

Aug 27, 2020

 

 

 

I was the Queen of the last hurrah! Every diet I started from the age of 8, had a "last meal." Every January 1st had a "last spending spree," and every Sunday for about two years, I had an "I'm never going to drink again" speech.

Until August 11th, 2013, when I quit drinking, there was no last hurrah. 

I didn't plan to stop drinking that night, I received a sign, and I took it. A sign which now I know was God, and he said, "Lori, you've had enough," enough to last a lifetime (or two)."

I recently received an email from a beautiful gal who asked me if I had a last hurrah when I quit drinking, and if it's a good idea to add closure before getting sober.

I respect this question so much, and honestly, I couldn't believe I've never talked about this topic until now. 

I have a couple of different perspectives that I want to share if you are asking this same question and possibly experiencing several "last hurrah's!" 

First of all, let's talk about why...

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Making Friends on Instagram

Jul 15, 2020

 

 

 

Some of us have an easier time than others putting themselves out there to make new friends, especially as we age. Our "in-real-life" relationships may start to change due to your career, divorce, or lifestyle change, like getting sober. 

 

Sometimes, a relationship from yesteryear fades away without reason. Have you ever been left holding the "old friend" bag of confusion and heartbreak? I think we all have at one point or another, so what is a midlife gal to do? 

 

Where do you meet new female friends who "get you" and share your same passion and purpose? 

 

If it were last year at this time, I would say go to a live event focused on a topic you are interested in or take an exercise class or cooking class. But, in 2020, our live events have been canceled, and our get-togethers in person are rare. 

 

In 2020, our mental health needs friendship and connection more than ever, and so many women are struggling with loneliness...

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Celebrate National Sober Day Every Day

Jul 14, 2020

National Sober Day is September 14th, but you don't have to wait to celebrate! 

 

Getting sober in the middle of life is one of the hardest, messiest, joyful, exhilarating experiences you will ever have. It's an event that needs recognition and celebration every chance you get. 

 

When I first got sober, I kept it to myself for the most part. Sure, my husband and son knew, but my close friends were on a need to know basis. Why? Because I felt like getting sober was embarrassing, it was something to feel shameful of and hide. 

 

Well, not anymore! 

 

In 2015, I joined Instagram under the anonymous handle "To 50 and Beyond" to talk about the Whole30. I quickly realized that other people were talking about sobriety. 

 

Who knew?! 

 

I began to come out of the sobriety closet and share my most profound darkest moments. I was sweaty and scared every time I hit publish on a post, but the more I posted, the more I felt heard and...

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Should You Quit Drinking or Moderate?

Jun 27, 2020

If you are trying to come to terms with your drinking in the middle of life, you are in the right place. Drinking isn't the same as it used to be, and your mind and body are changing, can alcohol co-exist in midlife? 

 

I was a go-all-in drinker. From the time I took my first sip at fourteen to my last sip at forty-five, I pounded beer, wine, and champagne; lot's of time all three together. 

 

At forty-five, during perimenopause, I began to ask myself (regularly), how much is too much, and will it ever be enough?

 

I tried making rules only to drink red wine, not my beloved Chardonnay. 

 

I tried drinking only on Saturday even though Sunday was my most favorite day to get drunk. Also, Friday. 

 

I tried to convince myself that I didn't have a "problem" and that everyone drank. 

 

I tried believing my excuses and justifications, but they were no longer convincing. 

 

I tried. 

 

I tried to make "alcohol...

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The Positive Side of FOMO in Midlife

Jun 16, 2020

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FOMO in the middle of life takes on a new meaning. The biggest question is not what you will miss out on if (fill in the blank) but what you will miss out on in life if you don't (fill in the blank.) 

 

In episode 120 of the To 50 and Beyond podcast, I talk about the fear when I quit drinking and challenging belief's that alcohol is fun in midlife and how to lean into fear instead of embrace it to start living your desired life.

 

The Fear of Missing Out overall is a feeling that you are not included. 

 

The inclusion of people of all races, sexual preferences, and people who don't have the physical capability to do what I can do. I don't want to ever take anything for granted - this year has changed me, but I don't know the realm of the change, and that's okay. 

 

Inclusion coincides with the questions I have been asking myself to learn about my privilege and where I've...

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How to Manifest the Life You Want

Jun 01, 2020


 

Manifesting the life you want and deserve works! Think about this, you focus on bad stuff happening, and they happen, so why not focus on great things and make those happen too! 

 

My guest on episode 118 of the To 50 and Beyond podcast is Jerilynn Stephens, author of the new book, The Five "F" Words to Manifesting Your Life. 

 

 

Jerilynn has been consciously manifesting the life of her dreams for the last sixteen years. It was through study, practice, and patience that she decoded the keys to manifestation. During a particularly rough time of struggling with alcohol, she hit rock bottom and picked up a book that introduced her to the world of co-creating with the Universe. 

 

Jerilynn walks you through how manifestation can change your life by using the five "F" words: 

 

  1. Figure 
  2. Focus
  3. Fearless Action
  4. Feel It 
  5. Faith 

 

Jerilynn talks about how you must figure out what you want to manifest your desires....

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Finding Love Again in Recovery

May 12, 2020

 

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Recovery from alcohol addiction brings hope, healing, and a chance to start again. Jennifer Golden is living proof that you can change your life and change your relationships once you get sober. For a long time, Jennifer lived a life where every ounce of energy she went to drinking alcohol. 

 

Jennifer's life revolved around when, where, how, and how much she could drink. But on August 12, 2015, she woke up, looked in the mirror, and said NO MORE. She joined the local gym and found that working out took her mind off of drinking. So she kept going every day. She is now 4 1/2 years sober, and the blessings keep coming! She loves to share my purpose in her story to help others who are suffering because you aren't alone, and we do recover. 

 

Jennifer is a mom to a 12-year-old boy, works full time in the garbage industry, and is an independent representative for an Activewear company...

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