20 Ways to Remove Chaos From Your Life



Chaos is a complete disorder and confusion; it mayhem, disorganization, Chaos, and disruption in midlife. I say Chaos has no place in the middle of life or sobriety.


2020 has been a whirlwind. From the pandemic to the murder of George Floyd, and racial injustice happening every time we turn around, we live in a world of disarray. 


To control what we can in our lives and unplug from negative energy and behaviors and people who add madness to our life is a must right now. 


As I decided to record an episode about removing drama and Chaos, I came off of a chaotic experience in my life. This experience added to the stress to 2020, now that it's over, I feel as though I can breathe better, think better, and create more freely. 


The first half of 2020 has taught me how to re-prioritize and get quiet. Some of the things I was worried about and thought that I needed to do in January, just don't matter now. 


There is still a pandemic going on, and racial injustice every time you turn around. You add in being quarantined, watching the news, and scrolling social media d we are like pressure cookers ready to explode. It's too much! 


Let's remove the pressure cooker lid slowly and breathe in deeply through the nose and out through the mouth...ah, I feel better already. I hope you do too! 



Chaos cannot exist in a sober lifestyle and women over 40. There is no time for drama and rushing around, now is the time to nurture yourself, set boundaries and say no to things, and people that do not bring you love and joy. 


In episode 122 of the To 50 and Beyond podcast, I talk about four types of chaos in midlife: 


  1. Chaotic eating.
  2. Chaotic drinking.
  3. Chaotic relationships.
  4. Self-induced chaos.


Yes, number four stings a bit. But, it's a wakeup call to us all to realize where we are adding drama and turmoil into our life. 


Chaotic eating happens when you hit mindlessly. You have no idea what you are putting into your body because you are too busy and stressed to sit down for 20-minutes a week and plan out your meals. 


Chaotic drinking happens when you let your day takeover instead of you taking over your day. You may wake up in the morning and say I'm not going to drink tonight, and by 5:30 pm you are guzzling wine because of stress and life.


Chaotic relationships happen when negative people in your life become unbearable, and you let them tap into every ounce of energy you have. You don't want to speak up, and you're a people please so you suck it up year after year. 


Self-induced Chaos: Holding yourself back from living the life you dream of and do the things you want to do because ___________________.You resist optimism because you only know the negative, and it's not going to work. You think you are overwhelmed or don't have enough time, so you create worry and drama and stay stuck there. 


Food, alcohol, friends, or your spouse are your armor that you hide behind because it's comfortable. I will put money on you walking away and realizing a month, a week, a year later that this was the thing that was causing you sleepless nights, stressful eating, drinking to numb out, and living a life of regret vs. taking a risk to live the life of your dreams.


It's time to remove your armor and get clear on where chaos and drama are robbing your precious years left on this earth. 


Here are 20 ways to remove chaos from your life today:


  1. Get quiet in your mind and block everyone else out. All of the voices that aren't yours ask them to please be silent.
  2. Tap into your self-awareness. Self-awareness is #1 in finding what you desire most.
  3. Tap into your self-awareness and ask yourself, where am I causing drama? Where can I let something go entirely instead of hashing it up repeatedly?
  4. Ask yourself, what can I do to make my simpler? And then do it. 
  5. Learn from everything you consider chaotic or madness in your life - say out loud, thank you for teaching me I will move on now. 
  6. Set boundaries with the takers and the naysayers. Tell them what you need from them, and ask them to tell you what they need from you. If you can't give them what they need, take time off from the relationship to work on your happiness.
  7. Make a stand for your mental health and take time off. Unplug for a week or two or a month from drama, social media, the news, anything that makes your life noisy. 
  8. Schedule your exercise and move your body daily. Talk to yourself while you are moving and practice gratitude that you are here, and you CAN move.
  9. Carve out 30-minutes each week to plan your meals, make a grocery list, and clean out any processed junk from your pantry and fridge. 
  10. Do you have a project you've wanted to tackle in your home, now is the perfect time to get it done. Chunk it down into 10-minutes at a time or take an entire day to finish. 
  11. Set a 10-minute timer every morning to write in your journal. Ask yourself, what do I need today?
  12. Meditate for at least 10-minutes a day - there are meditations for whatever you are feeling - I love the Wellness Coach app 
  13. Surround yourself with uplifting people who want the best for you and cheer you on. They are out there - go find them! 
  14. Make a list of 3-5 things you are avoiding that is keeping you up at night. From that list, break down three simple things you can do today to start to tackle the avoidance. 
  15. Have a trigger plan for eating and alcohol or whatever substance you use to escape reality - If this, then that. "If I'm cooking dinner, I will (fill in the blank)" "If I'm tired and stressed, I will (fill in the blank.) 
  16. Remove the clutter from your life. Make three piles to trash, donate, or sell. Need some extra cash, go to Facebook Marketplace to list. 
  17. Keep a maintenance schedule for your house and car cleaning - if you don't have someone to come and clean for you, make a checklist of what needs to get done weekly, bi-weekly, and monthly and stay on top. 
  18. Eat slowly. If you are rushing to eat, change your schedule and calendar 30-minutes to enjoy your meals. 
  19. Make a plan the night before for the top three things you need to accomplish tomorrow, lay your clothes out, your water for the morning, and get up early to have some me-time. 
  20. Just say no. It is a complete sentence, unsubscribe from people, events, and things that you don't want to do anymore. 


This list looks easy, but it's not. It's not easy to change the direction of your life. It's not easy letting go of past behaviors and people. The relationship with alcohol and food and people are deeply rooted. It's hard to let go, but you can do it. 


Do you want a peaceful and calm life as you age or a life where you don't even get the chance to realize how much drama and Chaos is around you because you never took a chance to change?


Midlife is the time to live peacefully and happily. Enjoy food and eating calmly, and don't feel like you want to escape your life at the end of the day. You deserve a drama-free environment full of love and light and positive peeps. 


Walk away from the madness and focus on what you want most. You got this. 


I'm with you.



Pin this post for later!



 Say hello on Instagram! 


Are you ready to take your (mid) life to the next level? 

Now is the best time to stop drinking and START living alcohol-free. 

Join my group coaching program for women over 40. 

Click here to enroll. 



Stay in touch

Join Lori's email community to receive a weekly email designed to help you live alcohol-free. You will also receive podcast episodes, and special offers for coaching.  

Spam not included. You can unsubscribe at any time.