How to Keep Alcohol-Free Living Top of Mind Daily

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[00:00:00] Hey there, welcome to To 50 and Beyond. I am Lori. We are back together for our final bonus episode inside the Essential Series, your guide to living alcohol free in midlife and beyond. Welcome, my friend. . The essential series is a six week podcast series that I have done and we're in the summer of 2023.

[00:00:18] And I felt like I was on a mission to really have a place where there were the essentials. Okay, Lori, the essentials to living alcohol free. So it'd be really easy to go back through and listen to them. So what I have done, I've included the link in the episodes description to the area on my website, where you can go and listen to these at any time.

[00:00:40] I suggest. bookmarking the series. And if you're coming into this and this is your very first time listening, you can always go back and start from the beginning today. I want to wrap up the series with words of encouragement and hope and give you a breakdown of really how to keep your alcohol free lifestyle top of mind daily, which simply means.[00:01:00]

[00:01:00] I will make myself and my alcohol free lifestyle a priority because it needs to be and because I care about myself and I want more out of life than drinking alcohol. We all need reminders and what I'm going to give you today is what I have set out to do. With each of these episodes is really just give you some practical tips and kind of a recap of what we've already talked about.

[00:01:22] You and I are the only ones who can keep ourselves free from alcohol. We can get support, we can have encouragement, we can have inspiration, but we are the only ones. That are able to say no to a drink every time a craving comes every time an association to drinking presents itself like a summer vacation or a Friday night or a Sunday like me, or a thought that says hey, maybe I can go back, maybe I can drink and moderate, whatever those old stories that you were telling yourself for a really long time like I did.

[00:01:56] We are able to talk ourselves out of that. The longer we go without drinking, [00:02:00] you and I are the only ones who choose how we wake up tomorrow, proud of ourselves and excited for the day or really mad at ourselves and feeling regretful because we chose to drink and dreading the day. You and I are the only ones who can create an alcohol free lifestyle that works for us by taking a day to day, by asking for help and getting support, and making sure that we are prioritizing our self care and our healing process.

[00:02:26] As with any lifestyle and alcohol free lifestyle is not one and done living alcohol free requires effort on your part, A. K. A. The work. If you are here, I know you're here because you care about yourself. And you want to be free from alcohol. You are not listening to an episode about how to keep alcohol free living top of mind daily, because you don't care about this topic.

[00:02:48] And I know that this is going to sound really cheesy, and I'm all about it. Like, let's be more cheesy. I care about you so much, and I care about... The reason why you are here. I know that [00:03:00] reason matters to you and it matters greatly to me that you are aware of that and that it is okay to care about yourself.

[00:03:07] It is okay to put this work and yourself top of mind daily and prioritize yourself. I am proud of you for showing up here. I'm honored to be here with you. I wish I had someone like me when I stopped drinking, which is one of the main reasons why I created this podcast to begin with, I've always known the gal that I'm talking to from the very beginning in February of 2018.

[00:03:31] And that is the gal that I talked to today. I talked to one person and I have met so many of you. And that's the reason why I'm so honored and heard from so many of you who have listened to this podcast and say. Gosh, your story resonates with me. I heard what you said about starting drinking at 14 and all of the things in between and it resonates with me.

[00:03:50] So you are definitely not alone. There are so many great people out there who are working on creating this lifestyle that really lights them up. And again, I'm just [00:04:00] really proud of you for being here.

[00:04:01] If you don't know why you're here, meaning if you don't really have that reason that we've talked about and that I'm going to talk about in this episode, the why power, the reason why you don't want to drink anymore.

[00:04:11] It's okay. You have an inkling. And that's all I had in the beginning. It was just that inkling like this isn't working for me anymore. I'm not sure. Why I want to quit drinking or what that's going to look like. What I do know for sure is that alcohol isn't working for me anymore. And if that's the reason why you're here, that's all you need to really get started.

[00:04:31] And if you have stumbled upon this episode and you're just out there searching for answers to, , do I need to quit drinking or sober curiosity, or what does it mean to live alcohol free? Hey, that's a really cool place to be. You're aware that alcohol isn't working and you're curious about what you can do about it.

[00:04:50] So let's get this party started. There is a fear going into living alcohol free that many women face, including me. I'm raising my hand high up in the air, [00:05:00] and that is that fear of, what if I get too comfortable in being alcohol free and I let it slip?

[00:05:07] What if I'm enjoying myself too much here? And I go back. There's such a fear around that. We start to feel good not drinking, so we get fixated on, how do I keep this going?

[00:05:18] I don't want to go back. And that fixation can lead to so much undue pressure and anxiety that takes you out of the enjoyment of not drinking. And the pressure to be alcohol free can make everything seem harder and unenjoyable. And you and I both know that when you don't enjoy doing something and it feels really hard, you're not going to do it.

[00:05:38] So to keep it top of mind and to keep it growing and growing, I want you to be able to loosen the reins on being alcohol free a bit. If you are really in that zone of I'm pressuring myself, I want to stay here. I don't want to go back. Or if you are saying to yourself, you know what? I feel really good. Maybe I can go back again, talking yourself back into drinking those rosé colored [00:06:00] glasses come out and being alcohol free takes a backseat.

[00:06:03] I'm going to talk about that today. Let's explore how we can loosen these reins and really enjoy it because what's the point? What is the point here? The point is, To not drink anymore and to really enjoy life and have a better experience in life as we get older.

[00:06:19] Find new things, find new interests, challenge ourselves and do things that we never thought we would do. And I feel like once you stop drinking, you not only have this catalyst for other areas in your life to change other areas in your life, but you realize, man, I could do hard things. That's the point. I could do hard things because going alcohol free, it's a challenge.

[00:06:40] And when you embrace that and you say, I can do this. What else can I do? That opens the door to so many different possibilities and opportunities. And I wouldn't be here with you right now if I hadn't stopped drinking.

[00:06:52] There are so many people in this world who are out there, and they are so tired of the consequences of their drinking, and they've tried to quit drinking, they've tried [00:07:00] AA, they've tried therapy, counseling, different kinds of programs, coaching, online communities, and they cannot seem to make it stick.

[00:07:08] They want to give up and blame themselves. They can't do it. It's just them. They've tried everything, but I don't believe that. I believe that if that is you and you're out there, I believe that you haven't found that right balance for you. And also, let's talk about the timing here. There is so much pressure that we put on ourselves.

[00:07:28] Like, I know that I need to do this. I should do this. But maybe I'm not ready to do this. And I just want to give you a big old hug right now. That is you because. That pressure is really escalating your drinking and it's making you feel really down about yourself and like you are the only one. You are not the only one.

[00:07:47] There is really a lack of balance and finding a combination of the right tools that work for you and there also might be that timing and there also might be that lack of desire to get and stay alcohol free and it's okay. [00:08:00] Like, it is okay. You are so resilient. You've gone through challenges before you're going to work this out.

[00:08:07] I just want to say to you, if you're not at that place of living alcohol free and it's not a priority, keep following your curiosity, keep learning from the days you don't drink, and especially the days that you do what you're noticing about yourself, and I want to remind you, it's very rare that people wake up one day and say, I'm going to quit drinking and just find that overnight freedom from alcohol.

[00:08:28] But I know in the beginning, and especially if you're really struggling with it, like I was like, I believe that people just make this choice and then they stop thinking about drinking and they live alcohol free happily ever after. I believed that that was that. thing that I was reaching for and honestly what I was really reaching for was just the slow freedom from alcohol and learning more about myself because I believe it's so much about self discovery and it's a process.

[00:08:54] It is such a process. It's a process that starts with maybe an inkling, a [00:09:00] thought, or a question, or an A ha moment where you're sitting up finally and paying attention to how alcohol is affecting your life. And again, there's so many people, especially in midlife who have gotten to this point and said, what the heck?

[00:09:14] I've been drinking for 30 years. What am I doing? Is this what I want to continue doing for another 30 years? That was my story completely. , it took me two years of setting up finally and paying attention. And taking a couple months off from drinking to get to a point where I knew in my heart and soul that drinking alcohol wasn't doing a damn thing for me and I knew in my heart and soul for sure that it wasn't going to change.

[00:09:42] There was no way I could change that relationship because I didn't want to moderate. I didn't want to drink less. The older I got the more I wanted to drink

[00:09:51] And that's where I started to question what is the end game here with my relationship with alcohol? Am I going to go several years more with trying to make this relationship work? [00:10:00] Or am I going to come to terms with where I am today knowing for sure that it just doesn't? And that's all I had when I started out.

[00:10:07] One of the most essential things to remember before I dive into really how to keep this top of mind is that it is so important for you to find what works for you and to let go of the idea that this has to be perfect, that you have to have everything figured out and go into living alcohol free as an experiment, I think it's such a great thing when we experiment with everything in life, because we're trying new things out and see what happens.

[00:10:34] That's such a refreshing way to look at things. Let me just see what happens. I'm going to try this out and I'm going to see what happens and if we can let go more and more. By doing that, of this idea that it has to be perfect, it has to be written in stone forever. Other people are going to be judging me if I go back to drinking and allowing ourselves to say, Nope, I'm going to try it out, I'm going to see what happens, and I'm going to give [00:11:00] myself the grace to know that because I'm human, I can change my mind whenever I want.

[00:11:04] Because I'm a midlife human, I can change my mind whenever I want. In the first episode of this series, What was it called, Laurie Nasikat? Episode 254. Transitioning to an alcohol free lifestyle later in life, what it takes and what it doesn't take. There were some things that I talked about in that episode and I want to just share with you what it takes.

[00:11:27] I believe that it takes the 3 C's connection, conversation and community. Connecting with yourself and talking to your friends and family or a therapist or counselor or finding community, other folks who are living alcohol free because when we are around others who are doing what we want to do, it's so much easier.

[00:11:46] And especially when it comes to going alcohol free and later in life, living alcohol free take self awareness and experimentation. Like I just said, you're here because you're aware and you're experimenting and you're trying some new things out. [00:12:00] Well done. Alcohol free living takes time and patience.

[00:12:03] It's the process. It's not perfection. And you make progress every single day as long as you are willing to acknowledge it and celebrate those milestones that you have every single day. Being alcohol free takes change. It takes small change. Changing up your daily routines. Checking in with how you feel instead of rushing through your day's stress.

[00:12:26] Say, no to Friday night drinks with Barb. And yes to Saturday morning coffee or a walk instead.

[00:12:32] And last but not least, I do believe that an alcohol free lifestyle takes a plan and I believe in a plan A, where that mindset is, I'm going to go all in. I'm going to see what happens without seeking perfection. I'm going to start where I am without all of the answers, without a clear roadmap of what to expect at each.

[00:12:50] Stop and a commitment to yourself to wholeheartedly do whatever it takes to stay alcohol free each day. And you're not focused on the outcome, but you're focused on being [00:13:00] present in the day. And I know that that sounds really hard to do cause we're talking about commitment. It is very hard and challenging to do. I know that you've committed to so many things in your life, and I know that you can commit to this, not to sorority, to yourself. To give yourself time and take it day to day.

[00:13:18] It's not forever. It's today. I choose not to drink let's talk about some suggestions to keep alcohol free living top of mind. This is the lifestyle. This is your priority. Number one, you got to remind yourself that you are not drinking. Whether you're taking a break or you're going all in on that plan A, remind yourself. It's like envisioning a blinking billboard. That's what it takes. We got to remind ourselves. I forget things all the time.

[00:13:43] If you've listened to this series, you know what I'm going to say, grab a post it pad and write down every single day when you get up, today I choose not to drink because, write that reason why down, and then maybe do another post it why that reason matters to you.

[00:13:58] Today. I choose not to drink [00:14:00] because I want to have energy and drinking just sucks the energy out of me. And that matters to me because I got a lot of stuff to do.

[00:14:08] I have got to be dialed in on my meetings and the things that I'm doing every single day. I do not have time for the energy suck of alcohol. Honestly, remind yourself daily, my friend, on why you don't want to drink instead of focusing on why you do. Sometimes we just got to pull ourselves out of that.

[00:14:26] Either create a mantra around that reason why, or like I said, carry that post it note with you. Grab your journal in the morning and write it out a hundred times. We've got to make that, that big blinking billboard because it matters. Number two, learn and get inspired to be alcohol free.

[00:14:43] Learn about alcohol. Keep learning, keep asking questions about what alcohol really is and what it's doing to you, especially as you get older. Read quit lit books, listen to podcasts like 250 and beyond, go on YouTube, search TED Talks, and [00:15:00] Dowsett Johnson has a wonderful TED talk about women and drinking.

[00:15:03] I'm gonna link it in the episode's description. And if you're new and you're starting out, I highly suggest going on Instagram You can create an anonymous account so no one knows who it is. That's how I started out with 250 and beyond. It did not say Laurie Massacott. Nobody knew who I was.

[00:15:20] You can go on there and create a really cute name for yourself like Annie's Plan A or Ashley's alcohol free journey. You get my drift. Go on there because you know what it does. That's just your safe space. That is your safe space and load your feed up by searching for hashtags, sobriety, sober women, women in sobriety, some of my favorite Instagram accounts.

[00:15:44] And I'm going to link that in the show notes for you. Recovery is the new black with Michelle Smith. She keeps me connected to my sobriety. I absolutely love her. And she's going to be a guest on the podcast in September. So I'm going to link. Michelle's account, Dr. Amon,

[00:15:58] actually I have a new account [00:16:00] that I'm setting up so I'm going to link that in the show notes for you as well. I forgot about that. But you know what that does that creates that visualization, you can go on there. When you're having a tough day, and then also look for other accounts that really light you up and they don't have to do a variety like quotes and inspirations and things that you find in midlife, maybe other interests that you have photography or travel, make your Instagram.

[00:16:25] A vision board and a reminder of keeping your alcohol free lifestyle top of mind. Number three, get in the habit of checking in with yourself in the morning, midday and evening. In episode 257, I talked about creating a daily plan to keep you alcohol free. I highly recommend listening to that episode either for the first time or on repeat to help you get in the habit of a daily check in because it starts with asking yourself, How do I feel and what can I do for myself to stay alcohol free today?

[00:16:54] And then you listen to the answer and you give yourself what you need. And that is so essential to help you [00:17:00] manage your drinking motivators, AKA those triggers that come up. Here's a tip to keep your daily check in top of mind, because I know this doesn't come natural in the beginning for sure. That's what's And a habit is all about.

[00:17:13] Set a timer and forget it. Go into your phone today. And set a timer of the morning check in. What works for you. Could be 6. Midday. When is that time when maybe your drinking window is opening up and that's that window where you start thinking about drinking and you're looking at your evening, like, Oh no, what am I going to do?

[00:17:31] And then in the evening set a reminder to check in with yourself and just say, you know, what do I need right now? What do I want to do for myself? That's you being. Compassionate towards yourself and becoming a better friend to yourself. Number four, keeping your alcohol free lifestyle top of mind daily, coach yourself.

[00:17:50] You are the only one in those moments where you have those drinking thoughts, you can pull yourself out of it by coaching yourself through it, and you can do this. And this is such a great reminder to [00:18:00] you to pay attention. To those old stories that you have about you and alcohol that I talked about in how to challenge your drinking stories inside the essential series.

[00:18:09] If you find yourself negotiating a drink with yourself or telling yourself, I feel good. It's been a few weeks without drinking. Maybe I can have just one.

[00:18:18] I want you to give yourself time to pause and think about it before you take that first step. Just like you and I are the only ones who can pull ourselves out of these stories into reality, we are really the only ones who know for sure if these stories are true or not. For me, I knew in my heart and soul that one sip of alcohol would lead me to two bottles.

[00:18:37] So I talked myself out of a drink countless times during my first year of sobriety by replaying that real reason why I chose to stop drinking to begin with. I wanted to feel better and I knew that drinking alcohol didn't help me achieve that desire. If you find yourself negotiating a drink Go back to your Y Power and remind yourself that nothing has changed with your drinking, but things have changed since you [00:19:00] stopped drinking, and write down the benefits of not drinking or just a simple pros and cons list.

[00:19:06] Last but certainly not least, the best way to keep your alcohol free lifestyle top of mind daily is my favorite. Document your progress, whether it be in an app that you find in the app store or the pages of a journal. You can document your challenges. Your milestones. I want you to celebrate those milestones.

[00:19:27] I want you to write them down on paper like yay me. I am so proud of myself because I got through this challenge that I faced on and I didn't drink. That is going to be one of the best gifts that you give to yourself because you're going to be able to go back and reflect on that in those moments.

[00:19:42] Let's say next week. Wednesday, you have a stressful day at work. You come home. You're like, Oh my God. Oh my goodness. I'm having some thoughts. I really want to drink, man, pull yourself out of it and say, you know what? I'm going to go back and I'm going to read how I got through this last time

[00:19:59] that is your [00:20:00] documentation there. . So those are the five ways to keep. Your alcohol free lifestyle top of mind. Number one, create that flashing billboard for yourself. Remind yourself daily like only you can do. Number two, learn and be inspired to be alcohol free.

[00:20:17] Keep reading, keep searching, keep listening, and create that Instagram feed that is your vision board for sobriety. Number three, Get in the habit of checking in with yourself daily, morning, midday, and evening. That is you caring for yourself. You curious about what you could do for yourself besides drink.

[00:20:35] Number four, coach yourself. In those moments of drinking thoughts, hold that Y power out and remind yourself of why you're doing this. . And number five, document your progress. Celebrate your wins, write about how you're doing and what you're learning about yourself. It's your best quit lit. That is it. And lastly, I want to send you out with words of encouragement, a big hug.

[00:20:57] I want to thank you for being here and listening to 250 and [00:21:00] beyond. It means the world to me. And I want to ask you, my friend, because you deserve this to let today, listening to this podcast be enough. You're showing up for yourself. You're doing the work. You're keeping your alcohol free lifestyle top of mind.

[00:21:13] And I am just celebrating the heck out of you. Let it be enough. Cause I believe that as we get older, we've got to change that narrative that we've got to do more. This is really hard and challenging. I've got to keep adding, adding, adding, adding. No one simple thing a day, keep it simple, do what works for you and find what works for you.

[00:21:32] And if you haven't found it yet, don't beat yourself up about it. Give yourself the gift of experimenting.

[00:21:39] Trying new things and seeing what happens because that changes the narrative You know, I can do hard things. I can figure it out as I go I don't have to have everything figured out before I start I can start today with where I am An alcohol free lifestyle is more than abstaining from alcohol, especially as we get older when we started the series I was nine years [00:22:00] sober and now I'm 10.

[00:22:01] I've learned So much about life and myself over the past 10 years. And what I've come to realize is that nothing can enhance my life or comfort me the way that I can. my relationship with alcohol was my ride or die. And I can confidently say that I've stepped into that role for myself. I am the main character in my story. Just as you are. can pull yourself out of this just like I did.

[00:22:22] You could go all into this with fear and skepticism and not having all of the answers and starting where you are and figure it out as you go, just like I did. If you take a break or you go all in and you decide it's not what you want, know that you can change your mind. I believe going alcohol free is an opportunity to fully experience life, all of it.

[00:22:42] Challenges uncomfortable feelings, the discomfort in situations and relationships like we have never done before and going alcohol free didn't fix my life. It really made me realize that my life didn't need fixing. You don't need fixing. Not your true self, not your thoughts, not your feelings. [00:23:00] I'm here for you. I am with you.

[00:23:01] Please reach out to me at any time @hellolori@lorimassicot.com and share one thing that you've learned in this series that has helped you and stay connected to this series. So you have it, you can bookmark it on your phone or computer.

[00:23:12] And if you are out there and you're doing this alone, I want to invite you to join team alcohol free, my online community for women, 35 and over. This is a self improvement community. And one of the best gifts that you can give yourself to keep your alcohol free lifestyle Going and growing the link to join is always in the show notes

[00:23:30] I will see you very soon Take care of yourself. Peace.