Listen to all episodes here.
Midlife has come a long way!
In 2022, women in midlife and beyond are stepping into themselves and honoring their choices to live the life they desire.
Gone are the stories of yesteryear that say, “you can’t do that; you’re too old!”
Midlife women are starting businesses, leaving relationships that don’t serve them, overcoming addiction, and stepping into their true selves.
Women are saying no to anything that stands in their way of being happy and at peace with themselves.
Getting older is an opportunity to shake things up and add a little disruption to your life, as my guest on episode 2017, Star Monroe, will help you do.
Star also shares how she has "taught herself not to be an alcoholic", and how she has overcome severe body hate, and abusive relationships.
Additionally, Star shares what inspired her to go back to school and train as a psychotherapist and advises ladies who want to align with their authentic selves.
What You'll Discover
How Star feels about being in midlife
The status quo in midlife and how we can disrupt it
What inspired Star to go back to school and train as a psychotherapist?
Star’s plans for marriage after her second marriage failed
Where she is at now with loving her body
Star’s alcohol addiction recovery journey: how Star taught herself "not to be an alcoholic"
Why alcohol abstinence doesn’t work for her
Star’s advice to anyone who wants to align with their authentic self
Star Monroe is a leader in the midlife and menopause field with a wealth of experience working closely with women for over 32 years.
Star has dedicated much of her life to studying human behavior and is a certified psychotherapist, eating psychology coach, relationship coach, sex, love & dating coach, somatic bodyworker, dominatrix, and retired showgirl.
Star has also navigated her own dark night of the soul, overcoming cocaine addiction, severe body hate, abusive relationships, and bankruptcy.
Star blends her flamboyant life experiences and wealth of professional training; she has established herself as a specialist in facilitating deep transformation and healing so that midlife women can break free from whatever is holding them back from creating a wild love affair with themselves and life.
Star is here to remind women that (mid)life and menopause are games to play, and you make the rules this time!
To learn more about Star, please visit:
- Website: https://www.msstarmonroe.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/msstarmonroe/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/msstarmonroe
Access loads of free midlife resources on; https://www.msstarmonroe.com/resources
If you like this episode, you'll enjoy these too!
Coming to Terms with Sobriety
10 Ways to Get in the Habit of Living Alcohol-Free
[00:00:00] Lori Massicot: Started. Star welcome to two 50 and
[00:00:05] Star Monroe: beyond. Thank you so much for having me.
[00:00:08] Lori Massicot: I'm so happy to have you here. My first question for you is how do you feel about being in
[00:00:13] Star Monroe: midlife? I love it. Love it, and I definitely don't think like most other people that I meet, I have always wanted to be older.
[00:00:31] I always wanted to be older and I've always been attracted to older female. I call 'em older female icons. And so even in my twenties, it's like, I wanted to be older in my thirties. I wanted to be older. And so now, like I'm cruising into, through my fifties. I feel because a lot of stuff has happened in my life.
[00:00:53] I feel like all the things that I have been doing they're now you like, we plant seeds now they're budding and bloom. [00:01:00] And I, I, I just love it because I have just come out of my second marriage. So I'm, I'm just, I've got into my divorce papers lot through last week. And. On my own. I get to do what I want, how I want it.
[00:01:19] I don't have to talk, like, ask anyone's permission. And because I've been doing the work myself for such a long time, the courage and the boldness that I have just keeps getting the. Am more amplified as I get older,
[00:01:36] Lori Massicot: I can see that. I can definitely see that. It seems like you're having the time of your life.
[00:01:41] When I watch you on social media, it seems like you're having the time of your life. And the reason that I asked you that cuz a lot of women go, oh, I don't like the term midlife. I don't like, I don't like to use that word midlife and I love your response to that. What is the status quo in midlife and how do we break that up and disrupt [00:02:00] it as
[00:02:00] Star Monroe: you do?
[00:02:01] Okay. So yeah, so there's a couple of things. My work is a. I mean over the years, I've kind of create, I've created a methodology that is getting women and myself results, but there's three main kind of components, but life is not linear. So they, they don't tend to go from a, to B, to C you are gonna go switch back and forwards, but the first one is you we've gotta disrupt the conditioning, the patriarchal conditioning that has been brainwashed, where is seeped into our pores.
[00:02:29] It's in our DNA. It's coded in and I feel. Especially the women that come into my world, they want to break out of that conditioning. And it really does brainwash us. I mean, I spent most of my life hating who I was destroying myself with various different self-sabotaged patterns, but we have to question and we have to be around people that are also disrupting this patriarchal conditioning, but also it's the [00:03:00] ancestral.
[00:03:01] Weight, the luggage that comes through into our DNA as well. I'm watching Downton Abbey at the moment. I'm probably the last person in the world to watch it, but I am obsessed with it, but it's so interesting because it's only a hundred years ago and yet I can see how the women act. My mum acts with me.
[00:03:20] It's still now. Right. So it's the breaking of generational curses, and it's really challenging to do that, to be a woman to cuz I on, I feel especially like this age, 42 to 49 and then 49 to let me do 56. Cuz you, you work in seven year incre. This, this period is when we really step into maturity. When we really step into adulthood where we are not looking for maybe and daddy anymore, and it's unconscious as well.
[00:03:53] You know, a lot of us don't even do it consciously. So it is breaking and shattering and questioning [00:04:00] all of that conditioning. Then as you question and chip away at all of that, what you are going to find is the recalibration, which is I call the healing work. So you're gonna be healing, mother, father wounding.
[00:04:12] I do a lot of childhood healing with my clients with parenting you're in a child. Past traumas because we carry that in our bodies and we've gotta be able to feel it so we can heal it. And then what happens because you are doing that is you, you're gonna come more and more into alignment with who you really are.
[00:04:33] And that takes time. It's not gonna happen overnight. It's it's a process and it's, it requires patience. It requires patience, but then patience requires patience. So it's a real odd so that's the sort of three steps, but it's not like 1, 2, 3. It's like your it's like a tango and you're coming backwards and forwards in all of those.
[00:04:58] Lori Massicot: When did you start doing [00:05:00] this work for yourself?
[00:05:01] Star Monroe: Deeply when I got to 40, I was still in a really codependent relationship. I think I was clean from cocaine. So I'd stopped using cocaine in 2008. And what I realized was that I was repeating the same patterning and how I knew that was how I was treating my body.
[00:05:24] When I stopped using cocaine in 2008. I then flipped my addiction into body building. So after not being in the gym for 10 years, within a year, I was on the British stage and I came 10th in the UK. So that that driven behavior was in, it was embodied into that. And then post that it took me five to seven years to get myself out of that mentality.
[00:05:49] But in those five to seven years, I kept. Either clean eating, just another diet, doing another exercise transformation program. And I would get my lean [00:06:00] body and then I would bounce back and just eat everything inside. And that was the pattern that I saw. And I was like, I just keep repeating this and I can't keep doing it because I'm getting older.
[00:06:14] And also I was in this codependent relationship, which felt like another drug to me. I really, I just couldn't get myself out of it. And so what I said to myself, I was like, I'm either gonna go. To back to therapy. Cause I was in, I've been in therapy since I've been 25 or I'm gonna train to be a psychotherapist.
[00:06:33] So what I did through the decade of my forties is I went back to school. I trained in every, as many modalities as I possibly could. I think looking back now, a lot of that's driven by that again, conditioning that it's, I'm not good enough. By my wisdom. I need to have these qualifications. I'm really glad I am highly qualified because it enables me to offer such a great space for my [00:07:00] clients to unravel them themselves.
[00:07:03] But that drive that I wasn't good enough. I need more qualifications. I need to learn. But in the process I trained as a psychotherapist. I trained as an eating. Psychology coach relationship, therapist, body psychotherapist, sex love and relationship therapist. So I did a lot of training, which enables me to, with my own journey as well, just to like, I can come at people's issues, challenges from lots of different angles.
[00:07:34] Lori Massicot: Mm congratulations. On at all. Cuz that is fantastic. Do you feel when you went back to school, were you doing it to start a business? Were you doing it to help others? Were you doing it to learn for
[00:07:48] Star Monroe: yourself? I think at that time 40. So I'd also gone bankrupt, I think around 2008. I, I can't quite remember the timings.
[00:07:58] I was exhausted [00:08:00] by life. I, yeah. Yes. So cuz I'm trying to think of my, I have had three breakdowns, so I'm trying to think of the breakdowns. And my last breakdown was 2015. I should get my timings. Right. But in that time, yes, I thought I was gonna build this. Massive online business. Again, my ego for me, my ego's been running the show for me.
[00:08:23] It's like, I need more success. I need more money. And I still got caught out earlier this year with it as well. It's like, but that's not the path for me. I, it, you know, for it is the path. Some people it's not the path I get kicked off that path. So violently. But it's I did. And what I did is I went back online and I started this business and I was like, it's gonna be this big personality.
[00:08:46] And I changed my name. My birth name is Joanne. I changed my name to goddess star Monroe. And I was like, yes, this is this. And I'm gonna do this. And, and it all crumbled. It all crumbled around me. And I [00:09:00] became exhausted. I was a typee. I was a high performer addict at the time. I just exhausted myself and I know around my mid forties I gave up, I was just like, I'm done.
[00:09:13] Nothing's working. My ideas. Aren't working. No one wants to buy from me. No one wants to listen to me. And I started to hide myself away. And I, this was, I think it was my office, but the chair was in a different place. And I used to sit in the chair and I used to watch TV, play a game on my phone, take my doggy out for a walk.
[00:09:33] And I just really was. I'm done. I, I put all my dreams into a box. I put, I pushed them all the way down. Put the lid. Married my second husband really quickly because I was looking for someone to save me. so be right. but I was still like, I call it the, the arche. We all have all these archetypal energies in us.
[00:09:55] I was still in my princess archetype, you know, I, I had enough, I wanted someone to [00:10:00] take care of me because I. All the men that I'd ever gone out with in my thirties, they hit me. They abused me. They were violent to me. And this man suddenly appeared and he seemed very charming at the beginning. And I was just like, I'm in I'm this my inner child was like, someone's paying me attention.
[00:10:20] Let me, I'll just have this. Let me be with this. And, but actually my second marriage was a massive lesson in. Me learning how to reparent my only child learning how to self soothe, learning how to manage my emotions without projecting them out. I mean, I'm not perfect. I had a wow with my mom this morning, you know, I still mess up.
[00:10:43] I, I don't believe in perfection, but I do believe in kindness. I do believe in compassion. I do believe in like, not taking everything so seriously as well. Hmm.
[00:10:54] Lori Massicot: Yeah. I believe in those things too. And so your second marriage, do you, do you [00:11:00] think that you'll get married again?
[00:11:03] Star Monroe: I always said right. That I would get married five times by the time I was 90, but honestly I just like darn after this second one.
[00:11:15] And I was talking to one of my clients yesterday and I think I'm still hurt a lot by this second marriage. My heart's broken. And I, part of me when I go into relationship and I have to manage myself so much because I get enmeshed in people, I wanna help people. I wanna, I just wanna do everything for that person because then they love me.
[00:11:40] And that's my little, that's my inner child. And what I'm recognizing is that that takes a high level of management. So I'm not sure about going into relationship again. And where I am right now is I'm really having the best relationship with myself. I'm dating [00:12:00] myself, I'm dating life. I'm doing all the things that I want to do.
[00:12:04] I, in my head, I don't see anybody, you know, like I have a gentle vision and I'm seeing myself on my own. And because I know what pitfalls come my way when I go into relationship. And I don't know whether I want to expend that energy on management of myself when I could be living. My life, like fully living my life.
[00:12:29] Lori Massicot: Yeah. You look like you're having a love affair with yourself. Mm-hmm you really do. I just, I really love everything that you put out there because it really lets us all know that it's okay to be ourselves. It's okay to feel our feelings and work through them. And honestly, I mean, I just wanna get in my underwear and, and.
[00:12:50] Record myself on video. I mean, you know, it's just, it's beautiful. I absolutely love it. When you were at a stage in your life where you say you hated your body, [00:13:00] mm-hmm where are you
[00:13:01] Star Monroe: now? Oh my God. You just touched me then with those words. Thank you so much. oh, you're welcome.
[00:13:08] Lori Massicot: You.
[00:13:09] Star Monroe: It
[00:13:10] Lori Massicot: like. I think you're the first person I've ever made cry.
[00:13:16] Star Monroe: fun. I love crying. Yeah. So do I, I think it's good. Where am I now with my body? It's what I teach on. It's like we we're in midlife our right place. I used to say we step into queen. And I still, that's still part of my methodology, but it's stepping into our matriarchal fierce energy. That's what we're here to do.
[00:13:41] We're, we're stepping into a full on adulthood, full on maturity. And so a fierce matriarch looks at herself. And she takes it all in and she says, I may not have everything I want, but this is what I've got and I'm gonna make the most of it. [00:14:00] I'm going to enjoy it. And something for me that I've done over and over in the years is that I've looked at photos and I'm sure a lot of women will resonate with this.
[00:14:10] And I'm like, oh my God. I thought at the time I was big, but when I look back, I'm like, you're not big. And then the logical side is, well, you are getting bigger. So I get bigger every year. And especially like, as menopause is in my, all my lady hormones are leaving with the building. My body's changing again, but I I'm like I'm done.
[00:14:30] I'm I'm done not enjoying my body. I'm done hiding away. But there's a caveat to that because currently when you're talking to me and I'm in the UK and I'm moving to Turkey because I feel more me and freer when I'm in Turkey and I always have done, I've visited Turkey now for over 18 years. And I want to be in an environment that supports [00:15:00] who I am and I don't.
[00:15:03] And honestly, I've only been back in the UK for five days and I've got a constant head date. My eyes are sore from looking at the screen. I'm tired, I'm not sleeping. And, and, and I mean, I, I still drink alcohol. So I drank alcohol all the time when I was away. I mean, I don't recommend this. I taught myself how not to be an alcoholic so I could have the glass wine, but I don't, I'm not even drinking here and yet I feel bad.
[00:15:29] And I know that's got something to do with the environment that I'm in. I'm just not meant to my whole, body's just not meant to be here anymore.
[00:15:37] Lori Massicot: Environment matters. Greatly. I really wanna touch on what you just said about you taught yourself how to not be an alcoholic. I am so open to learning how you approached this and what your drinking looks like today.
[00:15:53] Star Monroe: In my thirties, early thirties, I was, I just started becoming a party [00:16:00] girl again, you know, I was, I was single from my first marriage. I was young. I looked great. So I just started going out and I just started to drink again. But what happened at the same time is I started to use cocaine, never used cocaine before.
[00:16:18] And so the cocaine became an addiction and the cocaine smoking and drinking all went. They were a tri they all came together. And what I realized was if I drank, I would do cocaine. So I found myself on the floor of a hotel up the road because. Checked into that hotel. Cause I'd run out of cocaine. I'd run out of alcohol in this house.
[00:16:40] And I got in my car drive drunk to the hotel, checked in. So I could drink. When I woke up in the morning, I was just like, you're just messing your life up and you have a small son sort your shit out. So within the next day I just. I just gave everything up. And then that's when I went into the addiction with the body building.
[00:16:56] And then from then I dipped in and out of [00:17:00] drinking. But what I would find is I would binge drink again. I would just drink one bottle, really easy. Just drink one bottle, maybe drink another one. So again, another pattern most. So what I am is I'm an observer and I'm observer of myself and other people's behavior.
[00:17:15] So this patterning was going round and round and round. And in 2015, when I had my third breakdown and it was because nothing was working in my life and I was living on the breadline, I went bankrupt. I was just like, oh my God, I'm gonna teach myself how to not be an alcoholic because that's how I looked at myself.
[00:17:35] I was binge drinking. I was out of control. I wouldn't ever have a bottle of wine and be able to leave any of it. I were drinking. So what I did, I went to Turkey. My mom's got a place out there and I kept going backwards and forwards. But what I did, the weird, I did it in a really weird way. I never believe it I'm powerless over anything.
[00:17:55] That's the belief I hold. So I didn't resonate with AA. And also in a, [00:18:00] in AA, in this country, all they do is talk about drinking and I'm like, I don't get it. I don't wanna talk about drinking. I wanna talk about living my life. So for me, it didn't. So when I went to Turkey, what I did was I just got drunk, like blind, drunk.
[00:18:16] But I observed it, so I just started to observe it. And then what I realized over the course of the year is I drink numb my feelings. I mean, like that's obvious, but it was just like that, you know, like we know on a level, but it's that dropping down into a deeper level. I was like, oh, I'm drinking to numb out my feelings.
[00:18:36] So I was like, Then what I did was monitor it. I was like, have two glasses. And then what that would do with that would escalate into more so I'd reign it back in. So it was just like, I was just observing myself, but I trusted myself doing that process. That was the main thing. And I, and what's one of the big things is all the things that I've done.
[00:18:56] I've learned to build this world trust bond with myself. And [00:19:00] then last year, my business exploded online. And I found myself drinking again, like a lot, but not, I never was out of control. Like I would always get up in the morning and I, but I was, I was drinking three glasses of wine every single night.
[00:19:17] And so what I taught myself was don't drink when life is getting bad. Don't when life is when the shit's hit in the fan, drink's not your option. It's you go to bed and you go to sleep. And I taught myself that, but what I haven't, what I didn't teach myself was when life is good, you don't get to drink.
[00:19:39] Right? So you, I use drink as a celebration. So last year, what I started to notice is because I was earning more money. Life was, you know, Again, from an ego place, everything was like, oh, so it was amazing. But I started to notice that I was drinking again more regularly, but what he did instead of [00:20:00] telling myself off, I just went, if you are going to drink, then drink.
[00:20:04] So what I did last year is I observed my patterning with the drinking again, and I observed it with kindness, with compassion.
[00:20:12] And I was like, oh, you are in a habit of drinking when things are going well, that's really interesting. And so it's something. I, I was talking to myself about something else the other day. And I was like, you know, like people say right, that's it. I'm gonna stop. That's it. No more. I I'm. I caught myself soul patterning.
[00:20:37] I caught myself and I'm like, no, no, no, no, we're not doing that because it's too much pressure. And I don't like putting too much pressure on myself. So I'm just like, well, if you're gonna drink, then you manage yourself. So I, I think what I'm learning is just like this constant I'm constantly gently [00:21:00] monitoring myself and just giving myself permission to do it.
[00:21:06] Because there's a part of me that's going to do it anyway. I know that part of me, but it's just like, well, that's okay. So it's just like this ongoing journey with alcohol. But for me, If it gets in the way of me feeling good and my skin looking good, then I'm like, no, we're done. We're done now. And so I need to be able to function. I need my brain to be able to function because I don't want to go down.
[00:21:35] I call it my spiral of despair. So it's, I
[00:21:43] have the skillset to be able to do that.
[00:21:47] Lori Massicot: Yeah, thank you for saying that. Cuz that's what we need to remember. It's so good to observe yourself with self-compassion that's a huge part of sobriety, you know, is being kind to yourself. That's a huge part of mindful drinking [00:22:00] and really observing your behaviors and getting curious about them because it's, it's the difference between, let me just drink this bottle and numb everything out and not learn anything about why I'm drinking the bottle and then it's let me really.
[00:22:14] Aware while I'm drinking. Right. And that's hard to do the more you drink, right? I drank for 30 years, so I have no idea why I'm drinking. I'm just gonna drink some more, but you know yourself, you're listening, you know, yourself, you know what you can handle.
[00:22:27] And, and I will always say for me, I just knew I had to take it off the table. Cuz there was no, there was no moderation. What you just described. I couldn't have done, but man, I appreciate that you have done that for yourself. And I appreciate that you shared that because I think that we do have to be more open, especially here on the podcast of talking about different options.
[00:22:47] Cause there is so much pressure we wanna just. Kick the shit out of ourselves. Yeah. And say, oh, well you said you working a drink, but now you're drinking, you know, the next day. Right. And it doesn't, I don't think it has to be like that. And I [00:23:00] think a lot of the women that I work with more now are coming to the realization that they drink when life is really good.
[00:23:08] Yeah. And we, we really think that, oh, we drink when life is really bad. We're feeling really bad, but man, you wanna celebrate drink?
[00:23:16] Star Monroe: Go ahead and have a drink. Yeah. Have a drink, have a glass champagne. It's. So ingrained in our culture it's and that's, and I watch it, you know, I can get triggered by just seeing something on TV and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna have a drink.
[00:23:29] It's so easily to get triggered. But for me, abstinence doesn't work for me because then that re it, it causes another pressure and it's not natural. So for me, it's more that I wanna learn. To just kind of manage it in my own way. I am a wild card. I mean, I've never met anyone. That's done it. And I would, it's just, I don't like to have too many rules set from the [00:24:00] outside.
[00:24:00] But like I say, this is not for everybody, but the other thing as well is like, I hold my hand up and I'll be really honest. Like I will drink to numb out. Like I don't want to feel soft. So it's like, and I know I'm doing it. There's so many people that do that, but they don't say that they're doing that
[00:24:16] Lori Massicot: yeah. It's another conversation. Another option it's removing this. Black and white thinking and you have to be all or nothing for some people, it doesn't work.
[00:24:25] And for some people it has to work. Yeah. That's the only
[00:24:28] Star Monroe: way. Right? Of course. No, I, and you know, I've spoken to a lot of people about this and I have great respect and I really do like admire anyone, all anyone's journey with booze, you know, and I, you know, I have great respect and I, I think back earlier, you know, a long time ago, seven, eight years ago, when I was talking about this, I would be like, I think a little prickly about AA or stuff, but I'm like, I'm not, I'm not, I get it.
[00:24:52] Every, everyone is different. Everyone is so different and we do what we need to do. We get the support from where we need to get the support from so [00:25:00] I
[00:25:00] Lori Massicot: can believe in. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Well, thank you for sharing that. What do you do to celebrate.
[00:25:05] Cause it looks like you're celebrating life all the time with dancing. I love your dancing. I love anybody who dances. and I, I love a midlife gal who dances. I gotta get back on social media and, and do some dances. Maybe I'll do a, like a duet with you.
[00:25:18] Star Monroe: Yeah. Why not? I'd love that. How do I celebrate?
[00:25:22] I, I honestly think the way. That I celebrate and I'm going to celebrate is by moving myself to Turkey. That's my big one. And I'm gonna move in six weeks time. I'm gonna, there's a short trip to America and then I'm going to the Turkey. Hopefully get my residency. That's my big one, but something that I love to do.
[00:25:48] And it's start is escalating is I will book photo shoots with a photographer in random places. So I [00:26:00] did one in Paris and then I did one in capo here in Turkey. I did another one in toum in Mexico, and I just love getting dressed up. For a photo shoot having my photo taken. And so for me, that is a real kind of celebration of who I am and living life.
[00:26:20] And so there's, I, there's another couple ones I know I wanna do one in Istanbul and I probably will go back to capital here again, but that's kind that's at the moment how I'm celebrating, but when I kind of, when I look back sort. Excuse me in Turkey. I just, every day is just lovely. Cuz the sun is shining.
[00:26:43] I can go and cycle and I can sit and have a coffee and I'm just way more relaxed. So for me, excuse me. Is when people talk about meditation, I said, make your life a moving meditation, you know, make your life a gentle [00:27:00] celebration all the time. So it's less that, but the big things are the photo shoots. And then it's like, it's cultivating that gentle, ongoing celebration.
[00:27:10] Lori Massicot: I love that we should all do that, honestly, just yeah. Seeing your beautiful dresses that you wear and you know, it just, I think that we need more of that. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Like I had a photo shoot last summer and I think that's gonna be good for five years, but no, I really wanna do it again. I've changed.
[00:27:29] I've cut my hair. It's shorter now. You know, it's just like that. Like why would I do that once a year? I wanna do it
[00:27:34] Star Monroe: more. Exactly. And the, the other thing as well is what I'm doing because I'm moving countries is I'm divesting myself in one way. All my clothes. I love clothes. I love style, but. Over the, over the last three or four years, I have like, I've bought so much stuff.
[00:27:50] And part of me getting, building my presence online was through clothes, but. The the more, this year is a big growth [00:28:00] spurt for me, like a more in a growth spurt. It's like, I don't feel the need to do that anymore. It's like, I just don't feel the need. I have to dress up. I have to print and PR myself, I can just slog around in my Jean shorts and a t-shirt and I'm really happy.
[00:28:16] And that's like a really lovely way to live. So what I'm doing is I'm selling all my stuff at the end of the. I keep, I think I'm gonna keep one big dress, but on the photo shoots, I just hire stuff and then it's like, I'm done. It's it's and for me, I think for me, it is I'm moving towards a more simpler way of living.
[00:28:38] So less stuff, cuz there's always another dress to buy. There's always another face cream to buy. There's always another gadget to buy and I can get really hooked into that, but I don't want to do that anymore. I want to save my money. I I've got like I lose 10 year plan and it means I don't keep buying stuff, you know?[00:29:00]
[00:29:00] Lori Massicot: I'm with you on that. Yeah. I've been doing that for the past few years. Absolutely. And I feel like too, the older, I get's kind of, I look at everything like, do I really need that? You know, very, very few clothes that I have nowadays and I tend to wear the same stuff and I love it. They like less choices.
[00:29:17] So do I? Yeah. Yeah. Gosh, it just sounds like you are becoming aligned to your authentic self mm-hmm and I want you to talk to the gal out there who is maybe stuck right now. Just feeling like, you know, there's so many different options. There's so many places that I wanna go. There's things that I wanna do.
[00:29:34] We all feel the clock is ticking, right? Where does she start to really align to herself?
[00:29:41] Star Monroe: It's a journey. I'm gonna tell you that now. I wanna say thank you for recognizing that I'm aligned with who I am, because that's, I do feel that's what I'm dropping into this year. Way more. But it's, I've [00:30:00] gone through so many different guys' masks, identities, trying things out, copying other people, modeling from other people to get here.
[00:30:11] And I always say that, I always say that we have, you know, like we can go to a psyche and I go, this is your path that you need to go on. And I, and I say, well, there's so many parts. There's no parts. It's a good way to think about. There's no rules, there's no parts, but yet there's something inside you that will be pulling you towards certain things.
[00:30:34] And you won't be able to explain certain things and they won't make sense because the path to finding who you are is. Full of the unknown and full of chaos, but life is chaotic and life is uncertain. But what I would say, there's a quote, always bastardize it, but it's by roomy follow what Dr. Pulls you or draws you in.
[00:30:58] You will not be led as straight. [00:31:00] And I've always quoted that over and over and over again. And there's been loads of things. So like when I lost. In around 2015 in my second marriage completely lost myself, but there was a pull for me to go to Bali. I had to go and do a yoga retreat. I wanted to do it for 10 years.
[00:31:18] I didn't have any money. And my husband at the time was like, how you gonna do it? And I went, I'm gonna find a way. And I did. I found a way and I went to Bali and that was the door a door opened. I thought all the doors were going to. I thought my answers were all gonna be there when I went to barley, no, just one door and I walked through it and then another door opened and another door opened and that's how it works.
[00:31:42] And if any, there's no one can give you a formula. No one can give you secrets or codes. It's you know, I, in my methodology, there are. Midlife superpowers, but it takes a time to learn them because it's learning [00:32:00] a different way of being with yourself. So hang around with people. You resonate with, and then when you don't resonate with them, say goodbye to them and move on because that's, I think we clinging on I've definitely hold on, clinging on to things too much, but it's like, as soon as like someone starts to great or I don't get, I'm not I'm off, I'm gonna go and find somebody else.
[00:32:24] And there's so many teachers and mentors out there in the world now it's just like, you've gotta keep following people that feel like they're opening doors up for you. Feel like they're leading you to the light instead of the dark, because, but the thing is we don't get the light without the dark and you feel it it's a resonance.
[00:32:46] It's a Congress you'll feel it, but it it's.
[00:32:53] I'm just trying to think what I was gonna say. It's a journey. And you said about the times ticking. [00:33:00] I that's where I would start because that's the one that puts the pressure. So I would question time, question it in. It's a made concept by all of us, you know, So question time and just go like, well, this is what I've got, you know, and I'm going to do it and also have your tantrums, throw your dollies out.
[00:33:18] The pram cry. I had a tantrum this morning and it's just like, fine. And then I just like, like, I need to get on with stuff, you know, I can sit here and moan about it or I can just get on with it, but definitely hang around with people that you feel a resident appall with a frequency. Because they gonna are, they're going to open doors up for you.
[00:33:42] Lori Massicot: Yeah. I'm all about that. If you're hanging around people who are closing doors on you and you know, very narrow minded, that's what you're gonna get. That's funny. I had a tantrum this morning, too, over the silliest thing, cuz I, my ink wasn't working in my printer. I mean, honestly I had a tantrum, but I didn't sleep that well last night [00:34:00] and it, it just felt good.
[00:34:01] And then I just went and worked it out. It was just like, okay, well I'm back on. Tantrums are. Okay. Sorry. This has been so lovely. I just, I could talk to you forever. Talk about the midlife collective and how women can work with you now this episode, and I'm, I'm probably gonna edit this out, but this episode probably won't air until September.
[00:34:20] Is it gonna be closed? I
[00:34:21] Star Monroe: tell you, yes, it will be closed. So. What do
[00:34:25] Lori Massicot: you wanna offer then? We'll, I'm just gonna edit this stuff out, but what can we I tell you, I know I'll, I'll, I'll talk about the midlife collective, but then I'll talk about the retreats in Turkey and working one to one with me.
[00:34:36] All right.
[00:34:37] Okay. Okay. Start, talk about your offerings.
[00:34:40] Star Monroe: Okay. So I have. Midlife memberships called The Midlife Collective. And this is where we disrupt the status quo. Find out who we really are and create a wild glove affair with life. The doors are open at certain times. I think they're gonna be open again in October.[00:35:00]
[00:35:00] So your, will you put all my links? Every some, oh, absolutely. Yeah. Just like go to my website, get yourself on the wait list and then I'll let you know. I don't, I, I'm not an emailer. I don't tend to email anything out. I'm useless. cause I hate emails. So I'm just like, I'm not sending them out to people.
[00:35:17] So, but the best place for, to find me and to find out what I'm up to is gonna be on Instagram. And I do. Private retreats with me in Turkey. So I'm your guide, your psychotherapist, your life coach for five days, five nights. And there's also, you know, if you fill the pool and you wanna learn more about working with me privately via therapy and coaching, then reach out.
[00:35:38] I'm more than happy to have a chat. Honestly, honestly think like in this world of funky, weird online coaches where you just got hand all this money over, you don't know them. It's like I create a relationship. It's all about relationship with whoever comes into my world. So by all means slide into my DMS and ask me questions and I am more than happy [00:36:00] to conversation.
[00:36:02] Lori Massicot: definitely. And if you're feeling that pull right now, Take action. Do it right now. Just go on over and slide into Star's DMS, right? It's like, you don't have to think about it, you know, if you feel that pole just do something today. I, I think it's very exciting. I just thank you so much for being here.
[00:36:17] It's been a true joy to meet you and I will have everything linked down below in the show
[00:36:24] Star Monroe: notes. Thank you so much for having me.
Lori's Private Coaching
Hello, I'm Lori Massicot! I'm a certified life coach, podcast host, and advocate for sobriety in women in midlife and beyond. I'm on a mission to help you find joy and confidence in living alcohol-free later in life. I'm happy you're here!
Join Lori's email community to receive a weekly email designed to help you live alcohol-free. You will also receive podcast episodes, and special offers for coaching.
Spam not included. Unsubscribe at any time.