I was the Queen of the last hurrah! Every diet I started from the age of 8, had a "last meal." Every January 1st had a "last spending spree," and every Sunday for about two years, I had an "I'm never going to drink again" speech.
Until August 11th, 2013, when I quit drinking, there was no last hurrah.
I didn't plan to stop drinking that night, I received a sign, and I took it. A sign which now I know was God, and he said, "Lori, you've had enough," enough to last a lifetime (or two)."
I recently received an email from a beautiful gal who asked me if I had a last hurrah when I quit drinking, and if it's a good idea to add closure before getting sober.
I respect this question so much, and honestly, I couldn't believe I've never talked about this topic until now.
I have a couple of different perspectives that I want to share if you are asking this same question and possibly experiencing several "last hurrah's!"
First of all, let's talk about why we want closure. Having closure means letting go and moving on from something that you accept is no longer working to have finality.
Google says: Finding closure implies a complete acceptance of what has happened and an honoring of the transition away from what's finished to something new. In other words, closure describes the ability to go beyond imposed limitations in order to find different possibilities.
So, do you need closure when it comes to drinking and alcohol to get sober and stay that way?
In my opinion, no. I didn't have it the night I quit drinking because I wasn't planning on giving up alcohol this night. As I said, I heard a sign, and I went with it.
With that said, the Queen of the Last Hurrah questioned, "should I have a last blow-out?" frequently after I quit, but the reasons I didn't are because:
I hung onto my new way of thinking, which was, "if not now when?" After thirty years of drinking, I knew that any more time I spent using alcohol to cope with life would never be enough.
The Queen of the Last Hurrah's came to her last hurrah by knowing she was in control of what she did next.
You are in control of what you choose to do next. Choose you and keeping showing up daily to take care of yourself first.
You've done things for others for so long; now it's your time to stop bullshitting yourself and start living the life you are meant to live, alcohol-free.
The accountability that you give to yourself, even when you don't believe in yourself, is what will ultimately change your life.
The bottom line: ask yourself, how many last hurrahs are you going to talk yourself into before you make a change?
Let's make today your last.
I specialize in helping women over 40 combine the powers of aging and sobriety to maximize their health, career, relationships, and personal goals.
I'm the host of the To 50 and Beyond podcast where me and my guests share stories, solutions and support for the midlife experience every Tuesday.
I stopped drinking on August 11, 2013 at forty-five after three decades of drinking to escape life. Today, I live life to the fullest by keeping things simple and fun. I'm so happy you are here. I'm here for you.
I know you can do whatever you want to do in the middle of life. The question is, what do you want to do?
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