Why Midlife Women Are Getting Sober
Women in midlife are getting sober because they are tired of settling for hangovers, regret, and the shame that comes with over-drinking.
When I quit drinking at forty-five, I felt like I had been run over by a truck for years. Back and forth, back and forth, trying to decide to quit drinking after thirty years of a close relationship with alcohol - I was beyond tired of settling.
At this stage of life (the middle), women from all over the world are noticing the disadvantage of just a small amount of alcohol. From sleepless nights, waking up in the morning fuzzy and hungover to ending the day with another drink, women, just like you are exhausted.
Drinking alcohol is no longer what it used to be.
The fight to keep drinking has become harder than the journey to sobriety, or so they think. I thought this way back in 2013 when I decided to pour two bottles of chardonnay down the sink and declare (to myself) that I can't, and won't drink again. I couldn't possibly go on like I was, there had to be something else.
To cut to the chase, I was right about what I thought when I quit drinking - to remove myself from the constant thought process of drinking and the after-effects of alcohol gave me freedom like I never thought possible.
Was getting sober harder than staying in the vicious cycle of drinking? In hindsight, after almost seven years of sobriety, no, not for me.
I was asked recently, what do you think you would be doing if you were still drinking? This vision is something that comes to me every so often and makes me sad, honestly. I wouldn't be the woman I am today, the woman I never thought I would be.
I quit drinking at forty-five because I couldn't imagine my life at seventy-five, drinking two or three bottles of wine in one sitting. I flashed forward, and all I saw was thirty more years of revolving my ONE life around alcohol, and it scared the crap out of me.
What would I be doing? Drinking. A lot!
Why was I drinking? For the same reasons, I hear from women in the middle of life and why they drink:
- To relax and calm anxiety.
- Because of spouse/partner and friends.
- To quiet feelings and emotions.
- To have fun on vacation and social events.
- To be more outgoing and not so inhibited.
- To cope with the midlife experience: perimenopause, menopause, divorce, financial stress, grieving, and an empty nest, to name a few.
These are some of the reasons that go back to the belief's that we built when we were younger; alcohol is acceptable; not drinking isn't.
I don't know about you, but I started drinking at fourteen, I wasn't capable of deciding what alcohol was or the role it was going to play in my life. I was trying to fit in, and that is what I hung on to until my forties.
Now, let's flip these "old" beliefs and talk about why women over 40 are getting sober:
- To manage perimenopause and menopause symptoms.
- To align themselves to a better routine of their choosing.
- To connect to their thoughts and emotions (maybe for the first time in years!)
- To enjoy the memories of trips and special events: weddings, anniversaries, grandchildren.
- To not lose control of themselves: actions, words, and self-respect.
- To be focused and clear and not hungover and foggy to not just die with life's problems but to live them and learn from them.
Midlife women realize that aging is happening quickly, and time is our biggest currency. The money spent on wine alone plus all of the time wasted in alcohol's gaze is reason enough.
Many of the women I have worked with are worried about losing control of their mind, mouth, and body.
Two of the most significant issues in aging while over-drinking are falls and fractures. I have fallen because of drinking more times than I'd like to remember, and that was in my younger years.
Breaking a hip or worse because you lost control of yourself and slipped or tripped or tumbled is a serious matter, not to mention the plethora of alcohol disadvantages as we age.
Your health and wellness, and self-respect is the gift you give yourself when you go alcohol-free. Is sobriety the answer to all of your problems, no, but adding alcohol to aging and the challenges during midlife is never going to be a solution.
If you are struggling with trying to make your relationship with alcohol work, you are not alone. I'm here because I struggled for two years, trying to make alcohol fit into a life that needed peace.
Going alcohol-free gave me peace beyond my wildest dreams.
If you question your relationship with alcohol, please download my free audio training To Drink or Not to Drink today.
In this short audio, you will find support in deciding if you want to continue building your relationship with alcohol, or yourself first.
Get the answers you want today.
If you have a question or need support, please leave me a message here on the blog.
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