Let’s Plan Your Alcohol-Free Holiday Calendar Together
The holiday season is approaching, and for those embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle, it's a time to prepare, celebrate, and make the most of the festivities without the spirits.
In this episode, we'll explore the essential steps to create your alcohol-free holiday calendar, set intentions, and enjoy the season in a way that aligns with your goals.
The holiday season can be challenging for those on an alcohol-free journey.
It's a time when old habits and associations can resurface. But it's also a fantastic opportunity to create new traditions and meaningful experiences. In this guide, I'll walk you through the steps to successfully navigate an alcohol-free holiday season.
The steps to create your holiday calendar:
Step 1: Preparation
Start by creating a tranquil atmosphere for yourself. Light some candles, get cozy with a blanket, and gather your materials. This simple ritual sets the tone for the planning process.
Step 2: Set Your Intentions
Are you aiming for an alcohol-free holiday week, a day, or the entire season? Write down your intentions to clarify your goals and make them tangible.
Step 3: Create Your Bucket List
Embrace the holiday season by creating a bucket list. List things you've always wanted to do, activities that bring you joy, and experiences that align with your values.
Step 4: Building Your Calendar
Map out a 30-day calendar, marking the non-negotiables such as work commitments, family gatherings, and self-care time. Be sure to account for your challenges and triggers.
Step 5: Addressing Challenges
Identify the events and situations that could trigger your desire to drink. Plan how to take care of yourself before, during, and after these challenges. Remember, you don't have to test yourself – it's okay to skip events or activities that don't align with your goals.
Step 6: Setting Boundaries and Plans
Learn to set boundaries for yourself. Be flexible and adapt your plans to match your current needs and priorities. This is your holiday season, and you can shape it according to your desires.
Step 7: Holiday Swaps
If certain activities or traditions remind you of drinking, consider making some swaps. For example, if decorating while drinking is an issue, invest in new decorations or skip decorating altogether. You can create new memories and traditions.
Step 8: Staying on Track
Celebrate your progress during the holiday season. Track your alcohol-free days and remind yourself of your "why." Be kind to yourself, and remember, flexibility is your ally.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Monthly calendar for you to use in your planning.
My planner, The Day Designer.
My favorite pens to plan with are Bic Flair pens.
Trello for digital planning.
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We are talking, creating an alcohol free holiday calendar together today. One of my favorite things to do is plan. And I used to avoid planning because I had all the stories. You're not going to follow through. It's like the beginning of the year. You set a resolution and you make all these plans for yourself.
And then by January 15th, you're like, what did I say I was going to do? That was me for a really long time. Now I plan in a flexible way. It's intentional. But it's also very flexible because I go into each month thinking, okay, this is what I want to focus on. And at the same time, I know that life happens and I'm human.
So you can be flexible with yourself and you don't have to follow through on everything. And that has just helped me, more than anything, create a better relationship with myself because I know myself more and more as I grow a little bit older. And so I want to help you do this today. I'm going to do it with you.
And I'm super excited because I just printed out my calendar. We're going to focus on the month of November because we're talking about the holidays today. And I'm going to walk through this with you. I'm Lori Massicot. Hey, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm so happy that you are here. I'm the midlife sobriety coach, and I am the founder of team alcohol free, a wonderful online community for women 35 and over who are so tired of drinking alcohol.
They want to create and explore an alcohol free lifestyle team, alcohol free launched in, let's say March of 2023. I always go through it with family members to see what I want to tweak, what I want to add, take away. And that is what I've been doing this year. So I'm focusing now on creating. TAF 2024, and so enrollment on 2023 is closing 11 11.
If you are somebody who really needs that support and community, and you feel like you are missing out on it, I know I need it, please go and check out Team Alcohol Free. It's such a cool group of women, and then I'm going to be launching it again at the end of the year for 2024 enrollment. So, It's going to be there.
This episode is for you. If you celebrate holidays at the end of the year, you don't have many social events, you don't have a calendar, or maybe your calendar is packed full of social events and you want to either reduce your alcohol or you are all in living that plan a lifestyle, which is I'm all in on an alcohol free lifestyle.
And you want to stay that way. I see many, many women. That come to me and they say, I don't have enough willpower. I don't have enough strength not to drink. I thought that to going into sobriety, especially during the holiday season, I quit drinking August 11th of 2013 and I was already thinking, what in the heck am I going to do on Thanksgiving?
My birthday is in November. All the associations, which I'm going to talk about that I had with drinking. And what I was missing out on, and these women that come to me are missing out on, and you may be missing out on it too, my friend, because you got the willpower, you got the strength, is a plan. It's a simple plan that is laid out.
For you, either at the top of the month, you can reflect on it weekly, you can reflect on your plan daily, and it really highlights your non negotiables, the things that you have to do, like work appointments, family time, your self care, your me time, that's a non negotiable, and it also really highlights your challenges.
So, I know Thanksgiving is coming. I know my birthday is coming. Those are challenges for me. I still have the associations that I can think of, even though I'm 10 years sober. This is one of the myths that I see a lot of women also thinking that they go into this, like, I'm going to give myself a 30 day.
milestone here. I'm going to stop drinking for 30 days. I'm done. Or I'm going to stop drinking for a hundred days or a year or two years, whatever it is. And they're not keeping that plan going. It's always in the plan that helps you stay alcohol free. It's there. Like, what is your plan? So that is what we are focusing on today.
The purpose of this episode is to really help you safeguard your choice to be alcohol free while not feeling deprived or really worried about the holidays. Let's ease your mind today. I'm going to break down how to plan your alcohol free holiday calendar. As I plan mine, we're going to go through six steps and I want to tell you right now, block out at least 30 minutes for yourself.
We're going to talk about preparing to plan. Setting your intention for the month, even if you're listening to this episode during a regular month, you can still plan. This is like a 30 day plan for yourself, but I am focusing on November because that is what we are going into while you're listening to this episode.
So we're going to break this down into 6 steps. Sorry, I got off track preparing to plan, setting your intention. Creating your bucket list for the month, like your joy list, your bucket list, planning your calendar. So you know what you've got going on bonus. I'm going to talk about holiday swaps, how to swap out some old traditions.
Maybe that may motivate you to drink. That may be like, Ooh, I feel really challenged with this. The holidays, not time to test yourself. I don't care if you're one year sober or you're five days sober, it's not. Time to test yourself and then maybe swapping those things out with some new alcohol free traditions.
Lastly, we'll talk about staying on track, being flexible, passionate with yourself throughout the holiday, and really how to reflect on your progress. Let's start with preparation. An additional benefit to planning your month is the ritual of it. All creating this habit for yourself is super sweet and precious, and it could be really fun and enjoyable and very rewarding, and we've got to reward ourselves with some fun stuff, especially if you feel like you aren't going into this deprived because you're not drinking, drinking was a reward for 30 fricking years.
Like I get it. So. This is one of those benefits. You can make this a ritual and I want to talk about preparation. What I'm working from today is a calendar for November 2023. I print it out and you can print out a free calendar online. Actually, I will link. Calendar down below for you that is undated. So no matter when you were listening to this episode, you can, uh, print that out and use it.
Let me make a note of that. Undated calendar in show notes. So whenever you're looking at the episode's description, you can look at the show notes and it will be there. So you can print it right out. So I start with a paper calendar. I have a planner. Listen, let me, well, let me just tell you what I have. I have a planner.
I'm going to link that as well. It's called the Day Designer. I've been using that for quite a while, even though I go back and forth. And then I also use Trello, which is my digital calendar and planner. That's where I keep all of my business stuff. So I do this on a paper planner first, because I love to pencil things in.
And then I step back and I look at it so I will again be doing this with you and you can pause the episode if you would like, because I haven't even looked at my November calendar yet. And it is October 19. normally, I start planning around the end of the month. So we're almost there. I set aside at least.
30 minutes so you can block out some time for yourself. And then I make it really special. So since this is a holiday calendar, I've got my pumpkin candle nearby. I've got the lights a little bit softer in my office area that I'm in. I've got my cozy blanket. I've got my Halloween tumbler full of water.
I've already had my coffee out of my happy Halloween coffee cup. So I'm moved on to my water and I'm going to sit down here with you. I've got my pins. So in the episodes description, I will link my favorite pins. I'm going to link that undated calendar. I'm going to link my day designer planner. So you get an idea of what I work with each month.
I'm also going to have one of my favorite tools out the pencil. I use mechanical pencils and I do that just because, you know, I'm going to look at what I have ahead of me and what I can move around when there are some things that I do pencil in like appointments, because you never know life is going to happen.
Somebody may cancel. I may need to cancel those types of things. I always pencil in. So make this a ritual for yourself. Maybe you're getting your favorite loungewear. I'm wearing my gym clothes right now. Gym clothes, like I'm in middle school, my workout clothes, because I'm hoping to get to the gym sometime this morning, but I decided that during my normal workout time.
I'm going to record this episode, so it's only 6 57 a. m. I haven't got my workout done, and if I don't get it done today, I'm okay, because I'd rather do this. So, that is the preparation. Grab a calendar, grab some pens, because I'm going to talk a little bit about color coding, and then also grab a planner if you want, grab a blanket, some candles, your favorite drink, get cozy, and settle in, okay?
And again, pause this if you want to go through this with me. Let's next talk about setting your intention. The intention really doesn't have to be around. I'm not drinking. This is my sobriety or alcohol free. That's not really the intention. I want you to go with how you want to feel. And I always look at, you know, I want to feel proud of myself at the end of the month.
I want to feel like I did the things that I set out to do if I wanted to do them. And I also want to feel like. I'm not rushing by. I was really intentional. I was focused. I was remembering the memories that I was making during this month. That's how I want to feel at the end of the month. So I really want you to look at that like on day 30 because this is a 30 day month we're talking about.
How do I want to feel? Great way to set your intention is to just sit down. You can grab a journal too. Forgot to mention the journal or just a sheet of paper and write out, you know, dear Sally, Whatever your name is, write out, fill in the blank, dear me, write a dear me letter, write something to yourself.
It doesn't have to be page long. It could be a paragraph and just say, you know, this is how I want to feel at the end of the month. When it comes to setting that intention, you can set a reminder for yourself. You can create like a mantra around that, or just a simple word for the month. For me in November, I want to be completely present.
I have a lot of things going on in November, which I'm going to talk about. And I want to be completely present in the memories that we are making. Always feel like November goes by like that. And so that is my intention for the month. Now I want to talk about the intention to be alcohol free. Again, even though I'm 10 years sober, I still have that intention, that reason why.
And the main reason I want to be alcohol free, especially during November, is because I want to remember these memories. I want to feel good about myself. And also I want to look back and say, Hey, you know what you've had. Your 56th birthday this month. You're feeling good. You have made so much progress in your life.
And if you were to backpedal and go back to drinking alcohol, you would have taken that all away. And to start over, even if it's been five days, it's so difficult and it takes so much out of us. So my reason why, and this is my intention for staying alcohol free. This is my, what I call why power. This is the reason why I don't want to go back.
I want to go forward. In my life, I want to experience another holiday because I don't know if I'm going to be around next year. I want to experience this holiday fully present and proud of myself. And that Y power has always been to feel better. That's how I started out when I stopped drinking. I want to feel better.
I'm so tired of feeling like junk. I just want to feel my best and that's what I always go with. So after you're done setting that intention with how you want to feel at the end of the month, look at this intention that you want to set for yourself as far as why you want to be alcohol free, your why power, go to your values, go to why this matters to you because you not drinking matters to you.
You're here. I know you can talk yourself in and out of it. I did the same thing. Even if you are so in to living an alcohol free lifestyle, the plan A lifestyle that I've talked about, that is, I am all in on being alcohol free. There is no other plan but my plan A. Associations to drinking come up during the holidays.
You want to maybe please other people, make other people feel comfortable, and your brain may start to wander back to, those are the good memories of drinking. Those good old days, right? You and I both know it's a bunch of bullshit, or we would not be here together. I wanted to romanticize the holidays, especially during the first couple of years of my sobriety.
I always wanted to go back to, oh, it was so lovely. It was so lovely. Maybe that first sip, but my goodness, two bottles in on Thanksgiving. It's not lovely. I wanted to BS myself and try to remember the good times. And honestly, as I got older, those good times were few and far between with my drinking. And so I always had to go to nope.
You know what happens after that first set and bring myself back, bring myself back to my Y power, bring myself back to my intention of being all in. And that's a constant reminder for me because I never want to go to where I was the day after a Thanksgiving or the morning of Thanksgiving, because.
Blackout Wednesday, I want to talk about that, all of those things. So having an intention for yourself and then honoring that intention by reminding yourself, you know what, you got to just back up a little bit, look in the mirror and say, Hey, Fill in your name. Hey, Jan, are you being honest with yourself right now?
Or are you romanticizing something that wasn't really a reality? Cause I was right there with you, Jan, totally. And then another way you can set an intention is, do I intend to drink less? Like the episode that I just shared last week with my friend, Amy Connell, where she talked about last holiday season, where she didn't drink during special events that she would normally drink through.
You can do that. Drinking less. That's a thing. So, being flexible with yourself, but writing it down as your intention. So, go back, write an intention, Dear Jan, this is what I intend to focus on this month because I want to feel this way on day 30. This is the reason why I don't want to drink and this is my intention involving my drinking.
Is it the weekends? Is it the night before Thanksgiving, that blackout Wednesday, or do I intend to stay alcohol free for 30 days and highlight that why power, highlight your values and what motivates you to stay sober instead of focusing on what motivates you to drink and let your intention end this why.
And this plan guide your choice to help you stand strong and what you want more than alcohol waking up the day after a holiday without your first thought being what happened yesterday or you did it again, Jan. You suck. You don't suck. I love you. And my goodness, we're going to do this together. Okay. So that's your intention.
You got your prep. You got your intention. Let's talk about the bucket list. So inside the bucket list is things that you want to try. I want you to sit down. I'm going to write this bucket list out with you for me. This is something I do every single month, and it's like something that I put out there because there are certain things like personal things that I need to do for appointments like this month, it was go to the dentist and get a night guard because Laurie, you're grinding your teeth like crazy.
What is happening? That could be a whole other episode. So I just did that this week and I didn't want to do it. I don't know why I just didn't want to do it, but I'm so happy that I did it. And I picked up a whitening tray while I was there. I loved it. So that was on my list for this month. It's done. If you are somebody who likes to check things off a list, it doesn't have to be a long list.
Cause I'm going to ask you to pick out one to three things you need to do for yourself or you want to do during the month of November or any month that you're listening to this. And you can go back at the end of the month and go. I did that. Yay, me. Yay, me. So let's make this list together. Give yourself five minutes.
You can pause this. I'm not going to take five minutes to do this. I'm just going to give you some examples, and I'm going to create what I want to focus on in November. And this is off the cuff, gals. This is live, because I haven't really even thought about it yet. I'm going to tell you a story. I do have one thing that I do want to do either at the end of November, maybe the beginning of December, but I'm going to put it on the list for November, because this is something that my son and I do, I think Black Friday or that weekend, we normally go to home goods and we buy like 10 toys for our sweet pup.
If you've listened to the podcast and you've heard me talk about Bee because I have done that for the past five plus years, Beatrice passed away, unfortunately, October 2nd. And it's only been two and a half weeks, I guess. And what I had said to Spence and Bill, my family, I said, I really want to go and donate things at the shelter.
Because if you are someone who has adopted dogs, adopted dogs, You know that shelter dogs really are just so appreciative of love and, and support and toys. And so since we do not have be with us this year, we are going to go buy those toys and take them to the shelter. And that's something that I wanna put on my bucket list.
Now, this is something I'm gonna write in a pencil because I'm gonna be flexible with myself. I'm not sure how I'm gonna be feeling at the end of November. So if I am not in that place where I'm not going to come home with a dog, I may not go. I think that we're going to be good though, because we've already decided to wait to get another dog at this point.
I don't want another dog. And I think that's the first time in my life I've ever really said that. And so I'm going to go to Home Goods, possibly the day after Thanksgiving. And. Pick up some toys and take them to the San Diego Humane Society. So that is on my bucket list. Totally doable. Let these things be realistic.
You can dream big. My goodness, if you can achieve it, do it, but let them be really realistic. That's realistic for me. Another thing that I want to do this month in November is create a new habit of stretching. So I'm going to give myself 10 minutes. Every morning. I've already started doing this because I've just been lifting a lot of weights and I feel like I am a little stiff and so I would like to get up and do that stretch first thing in the morning.
So that's going to be on my bucket list. Now, that's a 10 minute activity, maybe 5. Honestly, I feel like stretching. I'm not a good stretcher. That is a story that I will stand behind and I like to get it done. So maybe five minutes, that's even better. Small start, really small, five minutes of stretching. Is that doable?
I think so. And another thing that I would really like to do, and this is how small it's going to be, I really want to go to some sort of holiday concert, whether it be the Nutcracker or something here in December. So in November, I'm putting it on my bucket list to get the tickets. That's how we're starting.
We're just getting the tickets right now. So get the tickets to a holiday concert. Now, I don't really have anything like appointment wise that I need to do. And that would normally go on my bucket list. So I don't have any appointments like personal appointments, like this month, it was the dentist. I don't have anything like that in November.
So this is a time to really look at that. Is there something you've been putting off the night guard thing? I don't know why I didn't do it. And I'm going to tell you. I'm embarrassed to even say this. My teeth are like shifting and I noticed it. I'm like, what the hell is going on here? And so I went to the dentist and they, they've told me a couple of times you should get a night guard.
And so that was one of those things. I had a cleaning and I go to my cleanings and everything very consistently. But when I went, I thought, am I going to ask about this night guard? Do I want to get this night guard? So it was very painless process to do it, but I had just created this like lock in my mind.
So there's anything that you're blocking that you may feel like, gosh, I'd like to get this done before the end of the year, that could be something to add to your bucket list or something to look forward to because you know what we need. You want something to look forward to another thing that you can add to your bucket list now This is going to be really hard for a lot of you It's a little bit of a challenge for me, but I've gotten better with it doing nothing.
I'm gonna block this out I am going to do nothing on November 12th There we go. So we're going to move on to creating the holiday calendars. Got your prep, got your intentions, got your bucket list. Think of that bucket list. Have fun with it. Oh, you know what? Another thing that I wanted to mention, make a bucket list of the holiday movies you want to watch.
Disney movies, anything like that for holiday. I love it. If you are somebody who enjoys a good holiday movie, because another thing that I forgot to mention here, I'm giving you examples, but if you don't enjoy these things, like if somebody told me, why don't you put on your bucket list, bake a dozen cookies or bake five dozen cookies, I would say, I don't want to bake one cookie.
I don't like baking. All my cookies turn out flat and kind of burnt no matter what I do. And so, you know, you gotta find the things that you enjoy doing. So maybe it's trying some different movies. Some different drinks, some mocktails. Oh my gosh. I have a great episode coming out in November with Mocktail Mom, and that is coming out the day before Thanksgiving.
So check back in for that one, but like creating a different recipe, creating some different snacks, mixing it up. Because what this is all about is, you know, really changing the association with drinking and adding some new things in, and then also, you know, taking care of yourself and you can block out that time.
Of doing nothing. That's taking care of yourself. That is doing something. And so next step, after we have preparation, intentions, and then your bucket list, we're going to move on to creating your holiday calendar. Yippee! Now, grab your November calendar. You can print the undated one that I have given you.
You can use a pencil, you can use pens, whatever. I'm going to go through with the pencil, and then I'm going to tell you how I color code, because I simply take out These wick flare pens. These are my favorites and I will link those. I take out a few colors and I'm going to tell you which ones they are.
Cause I'm going through them right now. We're going to get a red one and I'm going to get baby blue teal colored one. And then I get a hot pink colored one. And these are, are these, you know, and I get a green one. Okay. So these are my four, the green represents my client appointments. The red is for anything that I need to remember, or that's super important, or that may be, maybe something like plan for it, plan for it.
So it could be like an obstacle for you. The blue one is my TAF coaching, those calls. And then my pink one is me time. And that's how I go through and color code things. But for now, I'm doing the mechanical pencil. You can set a timer for 30 minutes. You can pause this and come back, or you can listen to this all the way through and do it later.
Do. You. Do. So, let's look at the 30 days of November. I am going to quickly pencil in my... Well, no, I'm not going to do that while you're here, because that's going to take me forever. I can't do this. I'm doing a lot of this off the cuff, if you can't already tell, but... I'm circling the dates. I don't know why I'm doing that cause I'm thinking this through real quick, but I don't want you to be sitting around here with me while I'm writing off all my appointments.
But what I do is I look at Monday through Friday, typically Monday through Friday. That's where I am planning my week as far as my business. So Mondays and Fridays, I do not do any kind of client calls. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, those are my calls. So when I start off my calendar, I'm already going through lining through Monday and Friday, because that is my off time.
That is work for me, but it's not false. So I will do a lot of content creation on those days. Anything that I need to do, admin, anything like that. Cause you know, I'm a one woman show over here. I do it all. And so I look at this calendar. And Tuesday, Wednesdays and Thursdays, I will mark down all of my calls.
And so those are my non negotiables. I will write the ones that may change like podcast interviews and pencils because life happens, you never know. Um, or discovery sessions, those sometimes change. Um. I will write those in pencils, but for the most part, my clients, I write in green and then all of my TAF calls, I write in blue, and then I go back and write in my me time and me time, I block out 630 to 8 am for me time.
And that is when I go to the gym. That is when I journal. I do a wipe down, which is my cleaning and reset for the day before I take a shower and get on with my business calls and everything. So that is the way that I plan out. So you could look at the month of November and go, okay, I know that I have worked, we have work.
And if you have work or you have a business, write out those non negotiables, those things that you know you're going to be doing. If you work a nine to five, Monday through Friday, that is what I'm going to be doing. If you are taking care of grandkids, your caregiving for your parents or another family member or friend, write in those things that you know, these are non negotiables, I'm going to be doing this every single day and make sure that you add that me time, that self care, because when you put yourself on the calendar, my friend, it's a game changer, I matter.
This is me taking care of myself. It could be multiple times throughout the day, because I don't just do it at 6. 30 to 8. I just write that time down on the calendar, because that is where I am the most consistent. You could write down a. m., midday, p. m., self care, and write it in your favorite color. Mine is hot pink for me.
And so then, once you do that, Let's look at the challenges, the obstacles, and I will tell you in November, and it's a good thing that I'm picked this month because I want to talk about the drinking associations that I had in November. Let's see. November 11th is my birthday. So I'm going to put birthday down so I don't forget.
I won't forget, but just in case. 22nd of November, Blackout Wednesday. Hey, did you know that that was a thing? I used to go every single Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I was up in the clubs when I was twenties in my twenties drinking. And the next day, Thanksgiving morning, I would wake up and I would just be like, Oh my God, how am I going to get through this day?
Well, I'm going to start drinking again. And that's how I spent a lot of Thanksgivings. And honestly, in my twenties, no regrets. Now, as I got older, I had a lot of regrets, but I wasn't up in the clubs. I was up on my couch and I was drinking and that's what we would do. That was like, Oh my gosh, this is so much fun.
That's my activity. And then I started, as I got older, just hating myself Thanksgiving morning, and it was so tough. So that is a big day for me. The 22nd of November, the 23rd of November, Thanksgiving. And then the whole weekend after was really one of those. weekends where it would just be a drink fast.
And so I want to highlight that area because again, even though I'm 10 years sober plan for that kind of stuff, what are we going to be doing? I have no idea what we're doing for Thanksgiving yet. At this point, they haven't planned anything. I know. Oh, you know what I do know? What's this good news? My friends, I know that Saturday and Sunday, the 25th, the 26th, on the 27th, my husband and son are going to be up in LA for the weekend.
This is me time, 100%, the weekend alone, I like that. So I'm writing that on the calendar. What am I going to plan for that weekend? I don't know, but I like it. You get my gist here, look at your calendar, look at the challenges that you face. And we're going to talk about some holiday swaps because another challenge of mine.
Is decorating while drinking and I want to talk about that because I know that is a thing for a lot of women. We've had this discussion and TAF and I've also talked to just some friends about it, but that was a big thing for me. I start decorating very early in the month. I'm going to bring out the decorations on the 1st and the 2nd of November because.
For one reason only, we're going to Vegas on the 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th of November. And I want to come home from Vegas and go into that work week and my birthday week, and I want to walk in and see the decorations. I feel like that will be my meet home from Vegas. really rewarding and special, especially because this is our first little mini vacation where we have gone where Beatrice is not here.
We don't have to have people take care of her or we just weren't going to go. My husband wasn't going to go on this trip because of B and now he's going. So I feel like. Be something special to come home to. So I'm going to plan for that. So really I'm looking at my month. I've got that weekend of Vegas.
That's no problem for me anymore. And I can't believe I'm going to Vegas for the second time this year when I hadn't been in such a long time. So I want to plan for before and after, because that's really important for me. Before I go, there's things I know I'm going to have to check off for work. I want to get stuff done.
I want to have the house clean. I want to make sure I'm managing my stress because. If I go away for two days or if I go away for two weeks, it's the same thing. I feel anxious. So that week I want to make sure that I'm on my me time. I'm managing my stress and I'm getting ahead as much as possible because you know what, I'm human.
I don't get ahead that often. And then when I come back, I'll have a plan for myself that week. Also to pick right back up on the seventh with my knee time and then go into that week with being really kind and gentle with myself. So. That's it for me. Those are the obstacles. So look at calendar. Be honest with yourself.
What is going to be your obstacles, your roadblocks, those, maybe those motivators, aka triggers for your drinking. And next we're going to talk about planning. So we've gone through prep, intention setting, bucket list, creating the calendar and mapping out your me time, your non negotiables, work appointments, family stuff, and then also your challenges.
So you know those challenges, right? This is going to be very simple. Now, I want you to look at your calendar, and this is a great time if you want to start putting some things down in ink. You could take it from your bucket list, maybe some things that you want to do during those challenging times. You can also look at any kind of activities that you have.
Let's say it's Thanksgiving dinner, dance alleys, right? You're thinking, When do I skip this this year? Do I feel obligated? Do I feel like this is something that is going to be enjoyable for me, not drinking? Can I create something new? Listen, I hate to say this, I say this so much though lately, give yourself permission to set some boundaries for yourself.
If you're looking at your calendar and saying, you know what, I really want to try something different this year. I don't want to do the traditional Thanksgiving dinner. I don't even want to decorate this year. I don't want to do any of it. I want to go back to that bucket list and pull something from there that I can do instead, or I want to pull some self care that I can do from that bucket list before, during, and after the event.
I want to look at this plan also, and Remind myself of my support system. You deserve a support system who is going to be there to support you. If in fact you are going ahead with the things that you feel a little bit challenged in, look at all of this and write that plan down for yourself. So if you're going to skip anything, line through it, if you had it on your calendar already, be flexible with yourself, leave it in pencil because you can always cancel at the last minute.
It's a thing. It's okay. You're not going to get any awards for how often you test yourself, especially during the holidays. So when you're planning your calendar, ask yourself, do I feel obligated? What will happen if I 10th? What will happen if I skip it and stay home? What is the worst thing that can happen?
Pull from that bucket list, create some fun activities for yourself, set it and forget it. And let's move on because I really want to talk about some holiday swaps. So we've already went through the preparation, the intention, setting the bucket list, creating your calendar, highlighting any challenges, and really planning for what you want to focus on in November, writing the things in pencil that you think, maybe I don't want to go this year, maybe I don't want to do this certain thing and being more flexible with yourself.
And the reason why I keep recapping those things is because we're trying to remember them so we can just move on. We're almost through. Let's talk about some holiday swaps. Okay. I'm going to go back to the decorating while drinking. This is something, again, that is an example of this. Like if you feel like you are really motivated to drink while you're decorating, this could be the year, no matter if it's your first year alcohol free or your 30th, right?
I really am having those associations coming up. So I'm going to not decorate or Now, this is an investment. Go out and buy some different creations. I'm going to swap out my old decorations that may remind me of those times when I was drinking and plunk in something different. You know, this could be as simple as adding a couple of different things to your tree.
If you celebrate Christmas, adding something to your home for whatever holiday that you are celebrating, mix it up because honestly, well, we are living this alcohol free lifestyle. We've got to change things up or nothing's going to change. We're not going to enjoy the holidays because we have all of these memories of when you were drinking and how alcohol either enhanced the holiday again, check in with yourself.
Is that? You romanticizing, or is that your reality? It wasn't mine. Another area I like to look at, you know, what are those traditions for me? Like the boozy brunch. The boozy brunch. Well, it didn't work for me anymore. Honestly, I haven't been to very many brunches since I stopped drinking, and I don't feel like I'm depriving myself at all.
In the beginning, that was something that I just had to say no to and I swapped it out for really just doing something at home because it was typically on a Sunday. Doing something for myself like going to the gym. I swapped that out so I started to create a different memory and during that first holiday season it was so hard for me.
Oh my gosh, poor, poor Lori, back in 2013, it was so difficult if you're there. And if you've gotten through it, you know how it is. When I just look back on her now, and I just like, you did it, girl, you did it. Maybe you didn't enjoy yourself so much because that first Thanksgiving, when I my family did the movies and thought it was a good idea.
And then we went out to eat like. Oh, this didn't become a new tradition, but I tried something different. So the boozy brunches went the decorating while drinking that first year. I didn't get out all my decorations. I didn't go into the full Pinterest Christmas. I did a light one. I changed it up. So look at those.
Things that you're associating with alcohol and see how you could swap them out. Let's talk about staying on track. The number one way to stay on track with what you are setting out to do your intention for the month is alcohol free holiday calendar you have just created or are going to create for yourself.
Celebrate your progress. Celebrate all of it. And this could be a weekly thing. This could be a daily thing. And then also remember that why power? To stay on track, remember that reason why you're doing this to begin with, because I know it matters to you. Write that dear me letter to yourself. Really put it up somewhere where only you can see it.
Keep that really sweet and precious just for yourself. Read it multiple times throughout the day. If you want to remind yourself of how you want to feel the next day by playing that tape forward. And lastly, to stay on track, be flexible. With your plans, but keep that intention for you not drinking really solid as solid as you can.
And again, go back to that intention setting and say, okay, I'm not going to drink during Thanksgiving this year. Cool. And see how that feels. That's one day out of the month. Like. Stick with that. Okay. If it's 30 days, stick with that. Go all in. Plan A. That's your commitment not to sobriety to yourself and what matters most to you.
And be really compassionate with yourself throughout the holiday season. You setting down and making this plan for yourself is compassionate. You taking care of yourself and getting up in the morning and Maybe doing 10 minutes of stretching or going out and taking a walk at the end of the day or when you feel super stressed, that's you being compassionate with yourself, you being flexible and saying, you know what, I am supposed to bring five fricking pumpkin pies to Aunt Sally's for Thanksgiving and do it.
I can't go. I'm going to change my mind. It's the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself, my friend. Let's recap this one more time. Okay. Let me go back up to my list here because I got to scroll back up. I take these notes and it's just like, let's talk about the preparation. Okay. Make it a ritual for yourself.
Create that nice little setting for yourself with candles, a sweet blanket, check out my pins and my tools that I use. If that will help you set your intention, whether it be a weekend, Thanksgiving Day, alcohol free a week, alcohol free or 30 days, write it down. Set it and forget it and then back it up with the reason why that matters to you.
Let your intention and your why power guide you throughout the holidays and keep you on track. Bucket list. Write that bucket list. Have fun with this. Do not overthink this. Maybe you start with a 10 minute timer, write everything down, then you can go back through and kind of X some things out and choose one to three things that you either do for yourself, something that you need to do, you don't want to put off anymore, and something different for yourself.
Create your alcohol free calendar. Look at the 30 days, map out your non negotiables, your work, your appointments, your family time, your me time, and then look at your challenges. If something is coming up for you, plan something to take care of yourself before, during, and after the event, and then also remind yourself, I don't have to test myself right now.
I want to protect myself and my choice not to drink, and I can skip it, and then plan. Plan everything that you need right in front of you. Put out your support system. Make sure that you know who you can turn to to talk to if you're having a difficult time, because the holidays are not easy for a lot of us, and I am one of those people who I really have to get centered for the holidays because I have so many different reminders that come up for me, and I have to remind myself that we need to talk about it.
My go to is my husband. I talk to him about everything. Talk to Spence, my son about things. I just want to talk about things. And I also want to make sure that I'm not overextending myself by planning for setting up some boundaries, saying no to some things. And then also just planning out what I can do for myself and that bucket list and what I want to experience throughout the month.
And then remember your holiday swaps. If something's coming up for you, like the decorating while drinking for me, maybe switch it up this year, swap something different out, go out, buy some different decorations, or just don't decorate. Do what feels right for you. Go with how you want to feel at the end of the month and stay on track by celebrating your progress, celebrating yourself, remembering that reason why.
Keeping that dear me letter out so you can track it and you can be proud of yourself and always be compassionate and flexible with yourself for no other reason than why not? Why not? Let's mix some things up. Let's do some things different. I hope that you enjoyed this very special alcohol free holiday.
I don't know what I'm going to name this yet, but I had fun and I hope that you got some great tips. Again, everything will be linked down below in the show notes. Please reach out to me if you really found some value in this episode. I would love to hear from you. I always love to hear from you. When I say that, reach out to me, email me at hellolori at lauriemassacott.
com. I respond to every email that I get. Also, can I ask you a favor, my friend? If you've listened to this podcast, either for years or this is your first time, you like it, let's say you enjoy the episodes and you have not left a rating and review for the podcast. Just rating will help me takes all but seconds to rate it on iTunes or on Spotify, wherever you're listening to it and leave a review because of what that does.
It helps other women just like you find the podcast. And again, I'm a one woman show here, and I always appreciate your support. Do you want to support a podcast? That is the best way to do it. And I thank you in advance. I'm giving you a big virtual hug. I'm wishing you a great holiday season, no matter what holiday you are celebrating.
If you're not celebrating any, I'm always with you. Stay tuned next week. We have a wonderful episode coming out with Janet Garand of Tribe Sober. She is here to talk about alcohol free communities, the importance, the... Ins and outs of joining a community. She is going to be talking about her community, Tribe Sober.
So come on back and I'll see you then. Take care of yourself this week, my friend. Peace
Hey, there! I’m Lori, the host of the To 50 and Beyond podcast.
Where aging and living alcohol-free are celebrated.
To 50 and Beyond is about self-discovery, living for today, and designing an alcohol-free life that alcohol can’t compete with.
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