What it Means to Live a Sober Lifestyle
I want to give you good news! There is nothing to dread in living life without alcohol. It is not boring, it is not isolating, and it is not something to miss out on as you age.
A sober lifestyle is not about quitting drinking; it's about what you do next. Taking care of your mental and physical health and paying attention to yourself vs. avoidance.
A sober lifestyle supports you in becoming a woman who no longer needs to drink.
A sober lifestyle is a simple plan that helps you get up in the morning take care of yourself first thing not put yourself off, so the stresses of your day end up causing you to drink at the end of the day.
Simple, not easy.
The reason I drank for so many years is that I didn't want to pay attention to a solution to more happiness and better tools to manage my stress and social anxiety, I tried to numb out and hide.
I never thought I would love living sober, but I do. I tell anyone who will listen how sobriety was a catalyst for me coming to grips with how much alcohol was making an impact in my life, and not in a positive way.
I quit drinking at forty-five, right smack in the middle of life, I had no idea of the ride waiting for me.
At forty-five, I had enough alcohol to last two lifetimes, but I wasn't convinced that I should or could quit drinking. Chardonnay and Champagne were a big part of who I was, or so I thought.
I didn't know where to start or what would happen to me. I was thinking long-term in two ways: #1 I couldn't imagine myself still drinking like I was in my seventies, and #2 I could not imagine not drinking on my vacation in 2025 or when my 12-year-old son got married.
I had a picture of what living sober would be like, and it was dismal and dark. The reason I coach women over 40 is to help you paint a new picture without alcohol because as age, new challenges arise that make life challenging, and a little dark.
If you are reading this because you are in the depths of perimenopause or post-menopause and you feel the darkness, and the heaviness of midlife, I want you to know that I know how you feel, and think.
You will be okay if you choose to live alcohol-free. Better than okay!
The night I quit drinking, August 11, 2013, I cried like a baby while pouring out two bottles of Chardonnay. I thought that life as I knew it was over and had no idea how to quit drinking or enjoy myself sober.
Some of the biggest objections that I had when I quit drinking were:
I will be boring
I will be uninvited to parties and events
I won't be able to do it so why bother
I will never dance or go to a concert again
I will be miserable
I will never have the confidence to socialize
When I quit drinking, I thought life as I knew it would be over. I was very dramatic and very resistant to sobriety. I paid attention to the myths of sobriety that assured me I would be an outcast and never be able to talk about the fact that I could no longer drink.
I was ashamed of my over-consumption of Chardonnay, and now I would be ashamed of no longer drinking.
The day after I quit drinking, August 12, 2013, I woke up and said, now what? What do I do next? To be honest, I had no idea what I should do and had already made up my mind that I would do it alone with the support of my family.
I was not in danger of detox. If you are, please seek help before you quit drinking. This post is about my experience, and I don't want you to put yourself in danger if you are unsure, please reach out to your doctor before quitting.
The lifestyle that I lead today was born during the first year of my sobriety. I stuck to the basics after I quit drinking: journaling, eating sugar, and exercising a ton!
To live a sober lifestyle means that you pay attention to your mental and physical health while aligning yourself with who you want to become, a woman who no longer needs to drink.
Lean into the resistance that keeps you from going all into sobriety with a willingness to believe that you will figure it out because you will.
Life without drinking and alcohol will open up a new life within a life.
For more support in living alcohol-free, check out these blog posts:
The Top Five Objections to Getting Sober
Why Midlife Women are Getting Sober
What I Would Do If I Had to Get Sober Again