The Compound Effect: Trust Your Process
Reaching a point of true freedom from alcohol doesn’t happen overnight.
It takes time and during this time, you are creating your process in sustaining sobriety.
As we embark on this new year, I want to share an essential insight: take it slow. It's essential to appreciate those small, consistent choices you make each day that contribute to staying alcohol-free.
These choices are powerful and create a compound effect that leads to lasting change.
Action steps from this episode:
Focus on making one small better choice each day
Honor your timeline in sobriety
Celebrate small victories and let them be enough. I have two words for you: Yay, Me!
Whatever you are doing today to stay alcohol-free, let that be enough.
The compound effect isn't about reaching a destination - it's about enjoying the ride to alcohol freedom.
Reach out if you would like to work with me privately by sending an email to hellolori@lorimassicot.com.
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Hello there, my friend. I am Lori. This is two 50 and beyond. If you're coming back to the podcast. Yeah, you, I am so happy to be here with you today. If you're new to the podcast. Welcome. This is where we talk about going alcohol free. Staying alcohol free later in life. Two 50 and beyond exists because I made the choice to stop drinking August 11th, 2013.
After 30 years of consistent drinking. I referred to myself as the party girl. I am so grateful for myself for being in that place where I was and pulling myself out of it. And boy, it took me a long time to get to a point where I really could say. I feel free from alcohol. When you're looking at going alcohol free and staying alcohol free, the way that we measure. When we're going to arrive at this destination, it's hard to track.
So my suggestion and the reason why I'm putting this at the top of the year is to go slow. And to always recognize those small, better choices that you make every single day that help you stay alcohol free. And that is the compound effect. It's also a book by Darren Hardy. I'm going to link it in the show notes.
I haven't read it in years, the book is designed for business and that's why I read it. Leadership, I think, but it's just those small. Daily things that you do every single day, that compound over time into achieving the results, the outcome that you want.
The compound effect is that slow progress. I believe in midlife and beyond. We need to focus on that because that is when we actually make progress. But if you're like me or somebody who wants that quick result, that quick feeling that I'm looking for from giving something up, because gosh, if I'm giving something up, I want to have that experience that I'm looking for. Fast.
I don't want to wait for it. That messed me up for a really long time in life. And what I have learned from this one choice that I made the compound effect of this choice. Once I stopped drinking. I was able to learn more about myself.
I was able to learn how I was really excusing myself from the things that I wanted to do in life. That I was making excuses for myself, that I was trying to justify things to get out of doing the hard work. And I also learned how to be patient with myself and to know that there is a process to everything.
If we want to change something, it is a transition and a transition takes time. If you're you're at the beginning stages and you're feeling like, man, this is taken forever.
I should be in a different place right now. I know how you feel. And also I know that you can keep going. Yes, you can keep going. Cause. There is a process you're creating it. It's yours. Honor your timeline, and keep reminding yourself that I am going to trust this process until I learn how to trust myself more. Today I can look at anything and just go, oh gosh, that seems overwhelming.
But if I just do one small, better thing every single day to work towards it I'm going to get to where I want to be. And I can say this in so many areas of my life. Definitely with exercise, definitely with my nutrition. With the business with this podcast, hoop boy, seven years next month. And when I started out, I thought, oh my gosh, I need to do this.
This is there's so many different moving parts, but what I did was show up weekly. Record an episode. Put it out into the world and do that consistently. There's a lot more behind it, but that's my number one. That's what I focused on. You look at something, you just think, well, it just seems like there are so many things that I have to do. And we want to do all of those things because we feel like one small thing.
Isn't enough. I want you to let it be enough. I'm going to give you some examples, of course, but I want you to remind yourself whatever you are doing today to stay alcohol free. Let that be enough.
Because the compound effect it's to not get to a destination, but enjoy the ride. Enjoy the road to alcohol freedom. That's what I don't want you to miss out on. And how do you measure freedom from alcohol? Well, you start out on the road, you put your little tippy toe on it, and then you just take that first step.
It's like, well, where am I going? What is that mile marker? And it's really hard to say, so you have to decide this on your own. I'm going to choose one thing for me, what I realized. And I didn't know this when I first started out, but as I started to go through the first 90 days, what I kept saying to myself as I want to stop thinking about drinking, Alcohol and not drinking alcohol.
I didn't want the chatter anymore.
That chatter for me was so annoying and it was so frustrating because here I am giving up alcohol.
I don't want to think about it anymore. I had a very unrealistic expectation, which I have spoke about since the beginning of the podcast. You know, I stopped drinking. I stopped thinking about alcohol. I just go on with my life. What? No. And so if you are starting out and that is your expectation, let me just say kindly to you.
Everybody is different. So maybe that is how it plays out for you, but expect to think about alcohol because I wouldn't be. Honest with you. If I didn't say that. Expect to think about it. My chatter. Was loud. It was very loud and it started with. I know for sure today is the day I'm going to drink.
I'm going to cave today is the day. I can drink if I want to. Can I drink? Am I making too big of a deal out of this? Maybe I don't need to be sober. Maybe it's just one. And then it would be like, no, you can't drink. You know, what will happen? Stop thinking about drinking, do something else. Okay.
Go do something else. Then, while I'm doing that, I'm still thinking about drinking. What if I should just test it? I could just try it. What is aunt Sally going to say? If I don't drink, what are my friends going to say? If I don't drink? I miss it. I want it. I need it. I can't do this without it.
And it just went on and on. For a while. This is where I do want to repeat the fact that maybe this will not be you. Maybe you will not experience this because I do not believe in one size fits all. We're all going to experience the same things, but. If you do it's okay. The first few months, even six months, it was very active.
It was very noisy. It was.
Like a room full of me. Let's say there are 25. Lori's in a room. Ah, terrified. And they were all talking at the same time, over and over. They were not listening to each other. They just were repeating the same thing. There were no breasts taken. That's what it felt like. And after a while there was like maybe 20 of me. Maybe then there was 15. Ten five, then it may have went back to. 15. It just kept going back and forth because just like anything, it ebbed and flowed my sobriety and those first couple of years were send downs and I'm making progress. Then I'm having a thought about drinking again, and I'm feeling really good, but then I'm going back to justifying it. That was part of my process.
Now I owned it at the time. It was really frustrating and annoying. And that's why I'm talking about it. If you're there. No, that most women do experience this. And that you're going to get through it and expect it to come. And then also remind yourself when that does come. This is part of my process.
I'm going to give it more time because I'm just not there yet. And how I got to the point. Where the chatter wasn't as loud. It wasn't coming as frequently was day by day. I kept reminding myself that I will be there. I had to trust the process and my process was following my mantra, whatever it takes to not drink today, I'm going to do that.
And that gave me time to figure out what helped me respond to what was triggering me to drink without drinking alcohol. Responding in a different way, managing their response versus managing and controlling stress and emotions and people and places and things.
And all of it's like, how can I respond differently? That's what takes time. And we do have to figure it out. Cause we have to figure out what works for us. That's what you're working on. When you are staying alcohol free,
I no longer had the quick fix of checking out by drinking alcohol, something I enjoy doing for such a long time.
It was not easy for me. I was the queen of quick results.
I didn't want to do the work. I wanted to feel better. I wanted to look better. I wanted to enjoy every single second of not drinking and be positive and confident and free. So I could move on with life. Like I didn't want to be in the place where I had been. For at least a couple of years feeling so bad about my drinking and trying to moderate my drinking.
I didn't want to be in that same place. If I was going to give up alcohol, dammit, I better have some good rewards coming from this. And I didn't in the beginning. I just had to remind myself time. Time, it's going to take time. Nothing happens overnight. Nobody gets these things out of sobriety that they want overnight.
It's a constant practice in those daily, small, consistent things that we can do for ourselves. . And one day he just realized, like I did. Hey, I'm not thinking about drinking anymore. I went a whole day. I didn't even think about it. And I would write about it in my journal.
And then the next day I would think about it and I would just remember. Okay, but you didn't yesterday, that's your proof that there is a process to this. Time is your best friend. It's your greatest resource. We all have the same amount. And I want you to honor your timeline and remind yourself, you
cannot hurry through this transition, but you can learn to enjoy the compound effect. Think of the small things that you do daily, the things that you are already doing that help you stay alcohol free, could be swapping out your nightly wine for a bowl of ice cream could be saying a mantra. Like I said, whatever it takes throughout the day to remind yourself, I'm not drinking today. Could be waking up in the morning saying I choose myself over alcohol today and filling in the reason why and writing it down on a post-it and sticking it on your bathroom mirror.
So you remember it throughout the day could be texting a friend, a supportive person. That has your back when you were feeling down and you feel like you need to talk it out. It could be not buying alcohol.
Each choice that you make, no matter how small, and I think the smaller, the better they're the building blocks of profound change, they will help you rewire your brains response. They will create new neural pathways that don't lead to alcohol. And you got to pay attention and be present during this transition.
Because the transition means the period of change and adjustment between your drinking life and your alcohol-free life. It's the in-between phase. And that in between phase can be really beautiful and really healing. And such a part of self discovery. Learning to navigate social situations without alcohol that's happening in the in-between developing better routines and habits that's happening in the in-between. Go slow. One small thing every single day.
And remember that the transition isn't just about stopping drinking and living alcohol-free is not just the abstinence of alcohol. It is really transforming and building a better relationship for yourself. That is why we are doing this in midlife and creating a new way of living that feels more authentic and sustainable for you.
Because I know in the beginning it does not feel sustainable to say I quit drinking. I don't drink. I'm removing alcohol. Over time, you will learn that with these. Small changes. You are sustaining it. You're not getting too far ahead of the game and you're realizing that it feels more authentic.
And what felt really hard to sustain was your drinking. That felt hard and we all get to that point. If you're not there yet honor that at least you're there where you are aware of it. And you're beginning to make those small daily better choices to change it. And I'm with you.
I'm so excited to be with you in 2025. I am here for you. And I will be back next week with a brand new episode. If you are curious about enrolling in team alcohol free enrollment is coming. I had some. Challenges towards the end of 2024
I could not focus on enrolling new women into the community. I'm very protective of this community and I want to do it in an intentional way. So enrollment will only be open four times in 2025. And I'm going to be opening it towards the end of January. So you will be notified if you're on my email community.
Private coaching is closed right now. I don't have any more spaces, I will have spaces opening up in February. So you can check with me on that if you want to enroll. I look forward to spending another year with you as we go into the seventh year of two 50 and beyond.
I appreciate you. Beyond words, take care of yourself this week. My friend peace.
Hey, there! I’m Lori, the host of the To 50 and Beyond podcast.
Where aging and living alcohol-free are celebrated.
To 50 and Beyond is about self-discovery, living for today, and designing an alcohol-free life that alcohol can’t compete with.
I’m with you.
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