The Midlife Sobriety Movement is Here
episode #318
The Midlife Sobriety Movement is here and I’m here for it!
I felt compelled to share this episode because of the incredibly strong women in my community, private coaching sessions, and email network. Over the past seven years, I’ve had the honor of connecting with midlife women from around the world who are choosing to give up alcohol as they embark on this next chapter of their lives. Their motivations are diverse—whether for health reasons, recognizing an unhealthy reliance on alcohol, or because drinking no longer aligns with their values and beliefs.
In 2025, many women are embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle, and if you’re making that choice too, know that you are not alone.
You are a trailblazer. A badass. A woman that I’m honored to be on this journey with.✌🏻
In this episode, I discuss the embarrassment I felt after I stopped drinking on August 11, 2013, how Instagram reshaped my mindset around sobriety, and the reality that while we cannot rewrite history or change the stigma surrounding sobriety, we can come together in this powerful movement of midlife women living alcohol-free.
Together, we will stand strong in our choice to no longer let alcohol take center stage in our lives—instead, we'll step into all the roles alcohol once played and embrace our authentic selves.
I’m with you!
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Times are changing. There's a movement happening in the world and sobriety, but here at To 50 and Beyond, it's the midlife women movement. It's been happening. It's getting stronger and stronger every year. And it's here and I am here for it. And if you are here for it, I congratulate you. I am so proud of you.
You are a badass. You are a trailblazer. I believe in you. I am in awe of you. This is not an easy choice to make. And if you feel embarrassed and you feel ashamed and you feel that stigma that comes from sobriety, know that that is real. And at some point it's going to shift into more empowerment and it always starts with us.
I want to talk about my experience with feeling the shame and the embarrassment for almost two years. Before I started opening up and it changed, it shifted from embarrassment to empowered. I am always here to empower you because we need that in midlife. I welcome you to the podcast. I am Laurie. I'm the midlife sobriety coach and founder of Team Alcohol Free, an online community for women 35 and over who are living an alcohol free lifestyle.
You're listening to this in real time, February 26, 2025. I decided to open a little short pop up. enrollment. I'm not publicizing it anywhere except for this episode. It will be open until March 1st. Let's see, that's a Saturday. Probably I'll close it March 1st in the morning so I can go on and live my life.
If there's a woman who's listening to this episode realizes I could use other women around me that are in this movement with me, I want to welcome you. So again, the enrollment will be open until March 1st and the link is in the show notes just for you, my friend. Let's start. with where this episode topic came from.
We just celebrated seven years of 250 and beyond the podcast, and I was going to skate on past it. I put it on my calendar. Yay. Seven years, February 18th. That morning I woke up and I'm like, what do I want to do for myself? I took a little bit of time off last week, which felt really good just from creating, not from my meetings or anything, but that's a vacation.
And I sat down, I want to write a really nice email to my email community and thank them and ask them three questions. Where do you listen to the podcast? Do you have a favorite episode? And what topics do you want to hear going forward? I spent two days responding back to these emails. reading their stories, reading when they found the podcast, what they were searching for when they found the podcast.
I always envision the woman who is sitting down one day, she just realizes maybe it's a bad morning, right? She wakes up. She's like, I don't need any more bad mornings in my life, hungover from alcohol. I am on my computer. I am typing in sobriety over 40. How do you stop drinking? Over 40. Midlife sobriety.
And there is Google. Thank you, Mr. Google. They have finally put my website at the top of some of these Google searches and the podcasts. These women are finding the podcast and maybe that's how you found it as well because there is a need for this topic. You should see me. I've got all my hand movements here.
After I got through reading all these emails, I just felt so encouraged and wanted to shout from the rooftops, Hey! Midlife. Women. There's another option. That was the whole point of me starting this podcast. I thought I'm going to talk about aging. I'm going to talk about menopause. I'm going to talk about sobriety.
That came out a little bit later and one gal out there is going to need to hear it. That there is an option other than drinking alcohol because most of us don't know about it. I didn't know about it because I always thought if you don't drink alcohol You have a problem. You are a particular person. And that wasn't me.
I could convince myself of that for sure, because I tried to cut back or I told myself, you took a 30 day break. You're okay. You can keep going. What I realized is it doesn't matter. What kind of drinker I am. It doesn't matter if I do have a problem and I can't control my drinking. What matters is what I do going forward.
That's what so many women in midlife are doing. They're recognizing this. And when I started out August 11, 2013, 4, 211 days ago, I was taking the road less traveled. I didn't know anybody else on that road. It was pretty bare. I wasn't on social media. I wasn't searching all these things. I did go on Amazon.
I did get a couple of books. Drinking a Love Story by Caroline Knapp. That is such a good book. That's one of my favorites. I know Eminem, Marshall Mathers. I know Jamie Lee Curtis. I know Rob Lowe. Like the stars that were talking about it and that I knew that were sober. There was not the movement that is happening today.
The good thing about social media and Quitlit and podcasts like this, Being on the news, the risks of drinking alcohol nowadays, especially as we get older and blog articles and dry January and sober October and dry July, all of those initiatives, right? Women are hearing that there is another choice and that the road to alcohol freedom has a lot more beautiful, intelligent women who want.
Better for themselves in this next chapter of life. They're no longer willing to take that other road and they set off and they're doing the damn thing for themselves. And that is why this podcast exists. If you ever want to send me an email and let me know topics you want to hear or where you listen to the podcast, or if there's a favorite episode, I appreciate.
Hearing from you so much. The email for me is always linked in the show notes. It wasn't until 2015 that I opened an Instagram account under an anonymous name, 250 and beyond. So my friends and family couldn't see that it was me. And I wanted to start posting about a whole 30 that I was doing a diet and exercise.
And then the algorithm on Instagram, you see how it works. I was probably searching for things about sobriety. It started to show me more folks, regular folks who were talking about sobriety. That changed everything for me. I would say at that moment, I was no longer embarrassed by my choice because I had walked around for two years.
Sure. There were ebbs and flows where one day I'd be like, this is kind of badass. Like if you can do this, you can do anything. And then another day where I was buying into the stigma and the shame around it. And I was so embarrassed that I failed at drinking. I'm not a good drinker. Okay. I was so embarrassed.
But then when I found Instagram and started meeting regular folks, like the wall cup twins who are just on, I met them very early on in my Instagram days. And we started to hear from other folks and people who are out there talking about this, such a great choice. I went from embarrassed to empowered.
Definitely, that is no joke. I will never discount the power that that Instagram account had because it brought me here to you. And I started to talk to myself differently. I started to build myself up a little bit more because yeah, if you could do this, you can do anything. My friend, you. When I started the podcast in 2018, times were different there as well.
That has changed so much. And because this podcast has grown so much and the topic of sobriety and midlife is needed so much, it will continue to grow. So this morning I was at the gym and I was listening to the Vision Quest soundtrack. Vision Quest is a movie from the 80s. Where are my 80s movie fans?
Because I know you're out there. Vision Quest with Matthew Modine. My husband and I watched it the other night. It's a classic. I wanted to get the soundtrack in my ears immediately, and I was not feeling my workout this morning. So I put the soundtrack in, I'm dancing a little, I'm doing some weights. And I got on the treadmill and I was reading through all of these wonderful messages again from the emails.
And I thought, I got to record an episode and let the listeners know who aren't part of my email community and anybody who is coming across this topic know that there are so many other women who are on this road with you and we can no longer feed into this. Stigma that was created years ago. The stigma around sobriety has deep historical roots.
Choosing not to drink is often viewed as a person being no fun or uptight, or you have a problem. The stigma came from society's normalization of drinking culture and the false narrative that alcohol is necessary for socializing, celebrating, or coping with life's challenges. So somebody who doesn't drink, this could be somebody who's never drank in their life.
These people exist. Somebody who is an occasional drinker that just decides, Oh, I don't like it anymore. I'm not going to drink. To the everyday drinker who cannot go a day without drinking. There is that stigma there, and it's normal. And it is a false narrative that alcohol is necessary for socializing, celebrating, and coping with life's challenges.
The only way that I know that it's false. Because that was my narrative for 30 years because I don't drink anymore. I'm not buying into that anymore. I want to do my own damn thing. I want to continue on this road to alcohol freedom with other women who are doing it too. This movement that is moving forward, we're giving a new face to living alcohol free.
Sobriety is an empowering choice, and I carried that around for two years that I'm embarrassed. I'm a loser. I'm not like other people. I'm going to be rejected. I'm going to be left out. And I felt so alone in it until I found that Instagram account and the people inside Instagram that helped me so much.
I respect a hell of a lot of people who don't drink. When I was drinking, I was one of those people. You don't drink. Why would you not drink? I really didn't meet that many non drinkers back then, but if I saw somebody on TV or something, you're like, who would not drink alcohol? What do you do? Because that's what I grew up with.
I grew up in the early 80s drinking. That's where it started. That's what we do. And I just hung on to that until I was 45. I'm like, dang it, I can't keep doing this. The fear and the judgment and the shame of being a woman who doesn't drink. It is real. It's valid. It still is today, even though it's changing because the movement's out there.
But instead of saying, what will people think of me if I don't drink? Because that's what I was saying. Two years trying to make alcohol work into my life so I could continue to drink and be happy. That's the difference right there. I wanted to continue to drink less and be happy. I couldn't. So what will people think of me?
I'll be rejected. I'll be left out. Instead of asking that, we have to ask a better question. What do I want to experience in this next chapter of life that alcohol is preventing me from? Alcohol is dragging us down. It's a filter. And if you are somebody who has come to rely on it, it's filtering you out.
You can't see your capabilities. And then also another question, What am I going to think of myself tomorrow morning when I look in the mirror? That's so important as we get older. I want to look in the mirror and know I make mistakes. I'm not making them because I'm drinking anymore. I'm human. I make mistakes all the time.
I want to look in the mirror and go, okay. Let's try again today. You're doing it. We cannot rewrite history in this old stigma. I have no desire, but we can continue to share and talk about our choice to not drink. It's a badass choice. Always in my book. I know that you see it and you hear it because you listen to podcasts, you've, you've read maybe one quick lit book.
You follow maybe some sober accounts on Instagram and you think I really want what they have. I'm inspired by them. I hear that all the time. I want to hear other stories of women because I want to get that inspiration. I totally get it. But look in the mirror. You're a trailblazer. Let your story inspire you because I'm inspired by you.
I totally am. I love knowing that you're out there in this world doing this with me. I'm so honored to be able to do it with you. If you're feeling like people are going to think that you have a problem, I want you to that the problems that alcohol create in your life are Worth giving it up for. I have a problem too.
If that makes you feel any better. I have a problem with drinking alcohol. Alcohol caused a problem in my life. And the number one problem that it caused was my perception of myself. It just drowned it out. I had no idea who I was. I mean, Hey, I'm 14 years old. I start drinking. We just talked about this on TAF meeting the other day where we were talking about starting drinking as.
Teenagers, so many of us have, we don't know the coping skills. We don't know who we are. We're going along. We're not making the right choices for ourselves. And then you carry that with you throughout your adult life. And you just think, huh, I don't know who I am. When I stopped drinking, I felt that very heavily, but I also knew that I was going to find out.
And I was no longer going to rely on alcohol to make me somebody that I wasn't. But the problem is not you, it's alcohol. It's always going to be. Alcohol is not changing. It's the same thing. It's ethanol. It's poison. It's a toxic drug. I, all the things that you hear, it's not changing, but you can change if it's causing problems in your life and you're worried about what other people will think.
Think about how you view other people who are giving it up and make sure that you are viewing yourself the same way. I know that that's really hard to do. Be your own inspiration. Yes! I'm gonna keep reminding you of that. This midlife alcohol free movement is about self discovery, compassion, a better relationship with ourselves, a deeper connection, and knowing who we are and what we want.
Instead of, I don't want to miss out on this barbecue at my friend Jan's house that I go to every year. It's like, do I really want to go to that barbecue? I really don't. I was going because I was drinking and everybody was drinking. Now I don't want to do it anymore. Honoring the parts of ourselves that don't want to do the things that we used to do while drinking and being human and learning to be kinder to ourselves because I know that's the thing.
We want to beat ourselves up. Say we should have done it sooner. It's never too late. You can transition into an alcohol free lifestyle. If you're 125 years old, it is just never too late. If alcohol was causing a problem in your life, it is no longer the problem when you move forward without it. When you commit and you go all in and know that you were in this great community of women who are doing the damn thing with you.
Does the movement motivate you? I don't know. Does knowing that you're part of it inspire you? I should. Come on, girl. Let it inspire you. Strut today. I'm gonna strut with you. Don't hold your head down because of this. Strut. Keep it up. That's what I want to see from all of us. I've had this vision of 250 and Beyonders being in a room together, having honest conversations, being ourselves.
We're strutting. We're dancing to 80s music. Maybe we'll dance to Vision Quest. We'll jump up and down and go, we are free. We are free from the bullshit. We are free from believing in the stigma, not rewriting it. We are just free from it because we are doing our own damn thing. We are living life without the filter of alcohol.
We are choosing ourselves above alcohol. If you ever are out there and you're sharing that you don't drink, you never know. There could be another midlife gal who says, what? You don't drink? I don't drink either. Or I'm thinking of not drinking anymore because I don't like how it makes me feel. Then you realize, oh yeah, I'm part of this movement.
I'm doing it. I'm doing the damn thing and I am strutting myself. Mid life women rock. This is an inevitable, essential time to go alcohol free because we are changing. It's inevitable. The change of life. We're no longer the same as we were when we started drinking. We don't have the same values. We don't have the same beliefs.
And if you're getting that hit and you recognize this in your life, you know, I don't need alcohol. I just don't need it. May want it, but I don't need it. Know that you are not alone. And there are so many incredibly Intelligent beautiful bright women who are walking this road with you I am always going to be there with you and I'm going to keep reminding you that You deserve what you want more than alcohol.
You deserve to go all in on those things and yourself You can do it. And since you are here remind yourself of this I am a badass and go on and strut hold your head up high today and know that this is an empowering choice that you Are making because you're making it for yourself and that matters you matter You really do matter.
Sometimes we need to hear that. Can I share one last thing with you? I just finished listening to Brooke Shields new book, Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old. And I highly recommend it. It's very empowering for midlife women. I was feeling the feels probably from her book as well to record this episode.
I just finished it this morning. So it's a really good book. I'm going to link it in the show notes if you want to check it out. And I was Brooke Shields obsessed. When I was a kid and I still am, I still love her and I love you. Thank you so much for listening today. If you wanna go and check out Team Alcohol free for the few days of enrollment, it'll be linked in the show notes.
If you're listening to this at a later date, I'm gonna open enrollment probably right around the end of March, uh, for spring, and then it won't open again until June. So if you wanna get in on Team Alcohol free, it's a wonderful community and I will welcome you with Open Arms. I will see you very soon, my friend.
Take care of yourself. Peace.
Hey, there! I’m Lori, the host of the To 50 and Beyond podcast.
Where aging and living alcohol-free are celebrated.
To 50 and Beyond is about self-discovery, living for today, and designing an alcohol-free life that alcohol can’t compete with.
I’m with you.
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