A Look Inside My First Two Years Alcohol-Free
EPISODE # 347
What I Learned in My First Two Years Alcohol-Free: Is This Lifestyle For You?
I'm not here to talk you into anything or out of anything. I want to give you an honest look at what I learned in my first two years of living alcohol-free, for those of you who are in it and working through whether this lifestyle is really for you, and for those of you who are ready to get started.
What I want you to know up front: it's powerful to choose this lifestyle for yourself. It's powerful to change your mind if it's not for you. It's powerful to continue even when you're uncertain it's for you. And it's powerful not to choose this lifestyle for yourself.
Where I Was Before I Stopped Drinking
From 2011 to 2013, I was deep in questioning my drinking. Do I quit? What does it mean if I do? I was searching in the middle of the night on Google, am I an alcoholic? I was taking the tests online, fudging answers, and still getting the same results back. And I continued on drinking.
We can know all of the risks about drinking alcohol and it is not a guarantee that you just stop. There is a lot of shoulding going on out there. I know that I should stop drinking. That just knocks you down a couple of pegs. So I just want to say that up front.
The night I decided to stop drinking wasn't planned. I just knew that I wanted to feel better. I was tired of monitoring my drinking, tired of telling myself I couldn't do it. I was ready to see what was on the other side.
An Alcohol-Free Lifestyle Was Never Presented to Me
What I saw in my Google searches were the words sober and sobriety and programs that did not feel like they were for me. I was confused by the language. I never thought I would be in a place where I would quit drinking. I didn't want to be sober. That wasn't my goal.
If you've ever asked yourself, do I really need to quit? What kind of drinker am I? Is my drinking that bad? I asked those questions too. But what if it doesn't have to be that bad to stop? What if it doesn't matter what kind of drinker you are to get started on this lifestyle?
What an Alcohol-Free Lifestyle Actually Is
At its core, an alcohol-free lifestyle is a life built and designed around your decision to live alcohol-free. The difference between I don't drink and I'm trying not to drink. Between I am free and I'm open to going back if something comes up.
The alcohol-free lifestyle is how you live. It's not just about giving up alcohol. You do that in one moment. Staying alcohol-free takes time and dedication to that decision. It's you saying, I choose me and now I'm going to figure out what I need.
There is I'm going to quit drinking, which I said almost every Monday for two years. And then there is I'm all in. You feel it. It's an inner knowing. Don't question it when it comes and don't let it leave by excusing your drinking.
A friend in my community recently shared something about a third door and closing it. I immediately visualized three doors. Door A is all in on living alcohol-free. Door B is yeah, but. Door C is continuing to drink just as you have. When you close door B and C, you are at the threshold of door A. Stay there.
What My Decision Gave Me in the First Year
The foundation of a lifestyle that supported me not drinking versus the one that did. More answers to why I was drinking and more certainty into why I couldn't go back and didn't want to go back.
In the first year I noticed I wasn't as puffy, my skin looked better, my moods were better, and I didn't feel the need to react the way I did while drinking. I had hard days and good days. There were days when I would say all day, this is the day I go back, I can't handle it anymore. And there were days where I realized I didn't think about drinking because I was living my life.
One of the most important revelations I had in that first year was being able to differentiate between what was going on while drinking versus what was real. From my perimenopause and sleep to my relationship with my husband and what was actually causing me stress and anxiety. Finding out what is real and what was alcohol-related was life changing.
I learned how to trust myself, be proud of myself, and have my back when the drinker in me came out. In the first year she said, it's okay, I don't think you need to quit drinking, you didn't have a last hurrah, go ahead and drink. I pushed back with my truth and told her to kindly shut the F up.
Year Two: Next Level Living
In year two, 2014 to 2015, I went all in on nutrition and strength training. That was my sole focus and I learned how much those two things helped me stay sober and still do today. Self-pride became my favorite dopamine boost. The gym on a Sunday morning was my favorite part of the week.
In April of 2015, I got on Instagram to share my nutrition goals and workouts under the anonymous name To 50 and Beyond so my friends and family couldn't see it, and I met wonderful sober people. That changed everything for me. I was no longer doing it alone.
If You're Second-Guessing Yourself
It's always your choice to keep going or change your mind. What I will suggest to you today, knowing what I know: please don't let the version of you that was drinking decide what you want to do during this transition to living alcohol-free.
Visualize yourself in the place you want to be, whether it's not thinking about drinking or going to the gym on a Sunday. Picture that version of you and let her decide what you do today. She has figured it out and she may be a lot closer than you think.
If You're Ready to Get Started
Take a walk with what you want to do. Reminder: no one can do this for you.
If you're open and willing to let the first year be for you and not a finish line, you are going to figure out what you need and what helps you stay alcohol-free. Go with your intuition and if you are getting the vibe from what I shared, this lifestyle may be for you.
This lifestyle is yours to design and yours to decide.
Trust what you know today. Let the rest unfold.
I’m with you.
Hey, there! I’m Lori, the host of the To 50 and Beyond podcast.
Where aging and living alcohol-free are celebrated.
To 50 and Beyond is about self-discovery, living for today, and designing an alcohol-free life that alcohol can’t compete with.
I’m with you.
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