The Alcohol-Free Lifestyle with Lindsay Sutherland Boal
episode 309
Lindsay's story begins as a successful opera singer whose illustrious career was significantly impacted by her troubled relationship with alcohol. Her sobriety date of January 4, 2020, marked the beginning of a pivotal new chapter that would ultimately touch and inspire the lives of thousands of women.
Lindsay openly shares her powerful turning point - a poignant moment in her kitchen at 6 AM when she painfully realized that the only verb she was using in her life was "hate." This moment of clarity sparked a profound and transformative change within her, leading her to take her crucial first steps toward an alcohol-free life through invigorating daily walks and positive, affirming self-talk.
Her empowering mantra, "I'm a non-alcoholic," became a powerful and essential tool in her ongoing transformation, reinforcing her commitment to a healthier lifestyle and a brighter future.
Key Takeaways from Our Conversation:
The meaning of an alcohol-free lifestyle and what it takes, and doesn’t take to transition to living alcohol-free may not be what you think.
One of the most powerful insights from our discussion is that you don't need to hit "rock bottom" to make meaningful changes in your relationship with alcohol. This common misconception often prevents many women from taking action sooner. Instead, Lindsay encourages us to listen to those early whispers of change.
Community plays a vital role in the alcohol-free journey. Women-only spaces provide a unique environment where members can share openly, find understanding, and receive crucial support without judgment. These safe spaces allow for authentic connections and shared experiences that can make all the difference.
The concept of radical accountability is a cornerstone of lasting change. By asking ourselves powerful questions like "What am I waiting for?" and "What do I need relief from?", we begin to uncover the deeper motivations behind our choices. This self-reflection becomes a catalyst for transformation.
Perhaps most importantly, there's no "perfect" time to begin your alcohol-free journey. The right time is when you feel ready to explore change, even if that readiness comes with uncertainty. Personal development and self-discovery become natural parts of the process, leading to profound insights and growth.
Language plays a crucial role in this journey. Using empowering words that resonate with your personal experience can shift your entire perspective. Instead of focusing on what you're giving up, the emphasis moves to what you're gaining - clarity, authenticity, and a deeper connection with yourself.
Understanding that the alcohol-free journey has distinct phases helps normalize the experience. From initial curiosity to active lifestyle changes, each phase brings its own challenges and rewards. Navigating these phases becomes easier when you recognize them as natural steps in your evolution.
More About Lindsay
Lindsay Sutherland Boal is the visionary founder of The Uncovery App, a groundbreaking platform that redefines how women approach changing their relationship with alcohol. Unlike traditional sobriety resources, Lindsay's work challenges the myth that one must hit "rock bottom" to make meaningful life changes. Recognizing a critical gap in support for women in the gray area of drinking—those who haven’t reached crisis but seek change—The Uncovery App provides a robust library of video content that guides users through the personal development necessary to build a fulfilling life that doesn’t require numbing or escape.
Resources Mentioned
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Lori: [00:00:00] Hi, Lindsay. Welcome to To 50 and Beyond. Welcome back.
Lindsay: Thank you. I'm so glad to be back here. I could talk to you all day long, clearly. I
Lori: know. We've already been talking. Let's start the recording.
You were on episode 186 last time.
Lindsay: Wow.
Lori: I'm going to link that. Of course, your greatest fear is your greatest superpower. That was the title and it was such a good episode. And I just remember meeting you and thinking, man, she's got it.
She's got it together. Yeah. And so I want to congratulate you on everything that you're doing with she walks Canada. We're going to talk about that today and your latest venture, the uncovery app.
Lindsay: Thank you. Thank you.
Lori: I did mention it to our listeners already, it's a fantastic app full of fantastic, incredible resources.
And I know you're going to share more about that today, but I just want to congratulate you.
Lindsay: Thank you. I really appreciate it. You know, it's been a, it's a journey, you know, becoming a leader in this space. I don't think anybody starts saying I want to be a leader in [00:01:00] the alcohol free space. What we do is we just take the first step to stop drinking that, you know, that's just what happens.
But for some of us, we choose a slightly different pathway and we end up, you know, Finding ourselves 300 episodes into a podcast, for example, or, building platforms and collectively we're helping women overcome over drinking. And it's, it's weird to me that this is where I'm at at this stage in my life.
I would have had no idea. And there is absolutely no way the joy, the excitement, the peace that I have in my life now would have been available to me when I was still drinking, like just completely different.
Lori: I agree with you, and I can relate to that as well. We're going to talk about the alcohol free lifestyle today, and really what it takes to transition to an alcohol free way of life, and what it doesn't take, and some important topics within that.
First, I want to ask you, how do you define an alcohol free lifestyle?
Lindsay: [00:02:00] That's a great question. For me, an alcohol free lifestyle is the reward.
It's a lifestyle that we get to live. That is completely free from any of the negative impacts that alcohol would have had on us. Some people who never had a problematic relationship with alcohol can just step right into that. But for the millions and millions and millions of us that do have a problematic relationship, there is a process required to get there.
Some people talk about it as recovery. Some people talk about it as sobriety. So there's so many words and languages that people use, but I do think there needs to be a bit more clarity on that. For me, the pursuit. Of alcohol free living is three pronged. It starts with sober curiosity, and that's the active pursuit of knowledge where we try and figure out what does it, what does it mean to, to, to be sober?
Do I want to be sober? Do I want to live an alcohol free life? Okay, maybe this is a good decision for me, but how do I do that? I mean, like, how do I be social? I mean, you just, [00:03:00] Ask a lot of questions and you gather a lot of information. You listen to podcasts like yours, for example, join the app, whatever, and you gather information.
And then when you're ready, you go into the second phase, which is the sobriety phrase, or I like to call it the pursuit. Of alcohol free living, and that is the personal development required to overcome this substantial health issue, particularly facing women. And so for many of us, it's things like overcoming people pleasing, right?
And overcoming the conditioning that we need to be all things to everybody but ourselves all the time. Like, I think women are in a very different place than generations before us, and we are willing to step into our own lives to be of service to ourselves. And in that. Of service to other people.
So there's radical accountability, radical acceptance self care, compassion, like just a lot of things go into this multi year phase of overcoming over drinking. It is important to note though, [00:04:00] that this is just a chapter. It's not an identity. It's not a life sentence, it's a chapter. And then we get to the point where we've done enough personal development, not saying that we need to stop, but saying that we've done enough personal development where we don't even need, we don't even think about drinking anymore.
You know, like not only do we not, sorry, not only do we not have, we've built a life that we don't need to be, to numb out from, we've built a life that we don't even need to be sober from because we don't need to think about it anymore. We're not going to drink. We're just not going to do anything to risk the beauty that we've created for ourselves.
And so that's what alcohol free living is. It's a very joyful, inspired, present, beautiful place where the connections that we have with the women in our lives, the family in our lives are just jam packed with meaning. We have purpose. We have value. We know what that is and we walk in that.
Lori: That phase that you're in, in that first year and you say, it's not a life sentence. [00:05:00] It's not an identity. So much of that language that you had mentioned in the beginning, you know, sobriety, recovery, living alcohol free. I want to talk just a little bit about that because I know that trips a lot of women up.
What are you finding? As far as the women that you're working with, how do they like to refer to themselves? Because it is important, . You don't have to become a sober podcaster, a sober leader. Like you were talking about, you know, it's like, how am I living my life?
What does that mean for me? And how do I identify? Cause I was always the party girl when I was drinking. So when I stopped drinking, like who am I now at 45?
Lindsay: Totally. Totally. And you bring up a really good point, Laurie, because we have to use language that is reflective of where we are at in our lives and also reflective of who we are individually.
And that's why more conventional wisdom and more conventional programming, which has no doubt been effective, and we're not throwing shade at that, but what we are saying is there's more games in town. Like [00:06:00] we have evolved as people, like, for example, if we were just to take a look at, For example, alcoholics and autobus.
That, the big book, they call it, was written 85 years ago. What human being do you know that's living right now lives in accordance with the way we lived 85 years ago? If you use a cell phone, you don't. If you use the internet, you don't. You know, like, if you're a woman with your own banking account, you don't.
Like, we just live a very different life because we evolve. And that's our job to evolve. And so it's not to say that alcoholics anonymous and that conventional wisdom of recovery and alcoholic and all that stuff isn't, isn't effective for those that use it, but I challenge that there are more modern ways that address the women that are living in 2024, 2025 and beyond, right?
And so that's a big part of, of my work and that the whole body of my work challenges the myth that crisis is a prerequisite for change. We do [00:07:00] not need to hit rock bottom because rock enough will do. So why don't we just say, you know what, I hit rock, I hit rock enough, you know, I just had enough of this.
My body is not feeling great when I drink every night, you know, I want to, I want to do other things with my life. I don't want to sit in my kitchen alone, you know, drinking, drinking every night cause that's what I've always done or, you know, like let's shift the language to open the door to allow more women to.
Live into the lives that we came here to live and if and I think language is a part of that So for example, I don't I would never say alcohol abuse because I don't think that's what it is You might say alcohol misuse, but why don't we just say over drinking, you know instead of alcoholic? Why don't we just say if you need to someone with alcohol use disorder, but we don't even use those words , if we talk about it we over drink That's it.
So again, we have to think about this as a chapter in our lives. It's not a life sentence. It's [00:08:00] absolutely something that can be overcome. So let's just focus on that.
Lori: I'm with you on that
Lindsay: for sure.
Lori: Talk about radical accountability. Absolutely.
Lindsay: Oh, oh, so with me, this was a big deal and when I was drinking and even into the first several months for me, because my, for me, it was hard to, to stop drinking because I had tried six times before the seventh time that it, that it worked, but that doesn't mean that it was easy.
It wasn't. But I had absolutely no idea. How much I was blaming everyone and everything for the way that my life was turning out when, in fact, I was numbed out from my life, which prevented me from being able to do the courageous, brave things that we need to do when we have things that we want to pursue and they don't have to be stratospheric, they can just be the things.
that we want to pursue, but it is impossible to be the women we want to [00:09:00] be when we are selling our power to a bottle of booze. Like we, we step into ourselves in such a compelling way. And when we become radically accountable in our pursuit of alcohol for a living, as the result of becoming very clear, Not only do we get past the, Oh dear, I maybe I've made some mistakes in my past, like who hasn't, we can just move on from that.
And we're not in the constant shame game of regret. We can move on.
Lori: Do you believe in a timing for this?
Lindsay: Yes. And I want to talk about
Lori: your personal experience, but yeah, let's talk about the timing.
Lindsay: Okay. I absolutely, without a doubt, 100 percent of the time women get sober. I'm going to use that word for right now, or you want to say alcohol free, whatever it is you want to say, but for right now, I'm just going to use the word sober.
Women get sober at the exact moment they're supposed to. So I can hear it all the time, you know, Oh, I wish I had [00:10:00] done this 20. Oh, I wish fine. Fine. But there is a reason why you became clear at this moment. I have a woman in my community right now is 87, who is stopping drinking for the last time. And she's like, everything just makes so much sense, you know, and sure.
Great. Yeah. I mean, it's natural for us to go, Oh, sugar nuts. I wish I had, you know, but spend no time there because you weren't meant to get sober at that time. I'm not saying stay drinking. But what I'm saying is don't give yourself a hard time because there's the universe has a better imagination than you do
Lori: so hard to be in that place and to hear from women who are trying and struggling with giving up alcohol and they have been trying for years and years and years.
I don't know a lot of women who. Wake up one day and just say, I'm going to stop drinking. And then they never drink again. It's very rare. And I, you know, I know that exists, but I don't know a lot of [00:11:00] women. Most of the women that come into my community and into my coaching have been working on it for quite a while.
And I always tell them, you can't pressure yourself. You cannot force yourself to do this because that's never going to work. But I do believe that there is a timing to it. And in that moment, it's going to happen for you. But what do we tell the women who are struggling? They want it so bad. What would you say to them today to help them along the way?
Because do you feel this is, this is what I will say. I talk about going all in, making the decision to go all in. And I do believe there's a timing for that, but this is where I have a little bit of disconnect. It's really making that decision for yourself, not sobriety, not living alcohol free, but making that decision for yourself, even when you're not ready.
How do you feel about that?
Lindsay: There's so much ready
Lori: mean, I [00:12:00] know this, like I'm working it out in my, I have, I have no questions on this. I'm just like working it out in my brain because I think about this often.
Lindsay: Yeah. There's so much in what you said. First of all, what I say to women. Is what are you waiting for?
And what are you
Lori: waiting for?
Lindsay: What I mean by that is over drinking is progressive. Nobody's drinking gets better, nobody's, everybody's drinking gets worse. And so are you waiting for the DUI? Are you waiting for the breast cancer? Are you waiting for your family to tell you that you can't be around your grandkids?
Because you're not responsible enough. What are you waiting for from that perspective? Another question is, What is it that you need relief from every night?
And, I agree with you. Never once have I ever met a woman who stopped drinking [00:13:00] on a whim. Like, unless it was somebody who didn't have a problem, but people who go to your community and people who go to my community are women who are challenged with this, like millions and millions and millions of other people who are challenged because this is an addictive substance that's been spoon fed to us for decades.
So my first question would be, what are you waiting for? And the second question is, what do you need relief from? And my last thing is that everything you ever wanted for yourself. is the starting point when you get to alcohol free living.
And then it gets better.
Lori: I'm so happy to be working this out. I always respect timing in, in women. If they're not ready, like I said, you cannot force yourself. You cannot pressure yourself to do this because that's only going to make you want to drink, right? With the anxiety and the worry around drinking now, especially, but asking that question.
And in fact, I think I have an episode I'm going to do on this topic. What are you [00:14:00] waiting for in a really kind way to help ease worries, to help ease their mind and to really make a plan for themselves and to get it down on paper. Like I'm waiting for maybe a certain time I'm waiting for, you know, whatever.
And then you can look at it and go, okay, is this ever going to happen? Or is this just my belief that these things are going to happen?
Lindsay: This is where radical accountability has to, has to play a role because we can be on the never, never plan with us. We can say, Oh, I'm good. Cause who, who hasn't with so many different kinds of problematic behaviors, whether they be overspending, whether they be overeating, whether they be over whatever, we don't, we put out these grand plans.
I'm going to stop on Thursday. I'm going to start on Friday. I'm going to say, gosh, you know, and we never do it. And the reason we never do it is because the relief we get from consuming or doing or stopping or whatever it is is greater. Then what we can emotionally handle at the time. So it's not about make a plan.
It's not about make a schedule. It's [00:15:00] about ask yourself. What is it that requires you to numb out from your life every day and write it down and say it, say it, because if you can say it, if you can name it, you can dismantle it. But if you choose to sweep it underneath the rug, like all of us did for so many years, like my hand is extremely high in the air here.
If we continue to do that, we will continue to be on the never, never plan. And that's where radical accountability comes in. One thing I'm doing in the app, which I'm really excited about, is in January, sure, I'm going to sort of jump on the dry January bandwagon, but I don't believe in dry January, it is the worst possible thing for people who have a problematic relationship.
However, what I have come to notice of the tens of thousands of women that I've worked with now, the majority of women have sober dates. Either January, dry January, or sober October, and, and it's not on the first of the month, like [00:16:00] it's never on the first of the month. It's like the 10th, the mine's, the 24th, like, and, and it's later in the month.
So there, January is a beautiful time to start, but why start at hungover, which you're probably gonna do if you're gonna do it January fir first. But you've gotta have this time where you're sober. Curious first, okay, I gotta get real about this. Have that time. Give yourself that time. Give yourself the time to say, I know this is a problem.
It's December, this is not the time to stop. Okay, I get that. But I recognize this is a problem. There is a solution available to me. I'm going to join Laurie's community. I'm going to join Lizzie's community. Whatever it is. And I'm going to choose to step into it.
That's what we can do. And that is a proactive approach. That's how we address the issue. Quit sweeping it under the rug because it is coming for you whether you like it or not.
Lori: I knew that when I was in that phase of questioning my drinking and putting the rules on my drinking, I knew it was inevitable for [00:17:00] me.
And I knew that once I saw it, I was not going to be able to unsee it. And so I would focus on it. And that's where we get into that mode of like questioning our drinking, worrying about our drinking, thinking about drinking, not drinking, taking breaks and all of it.
And it is exhausting. I want to ask you, what were the signs for you and talk a little bit about when you stopped drinking? What made that like, I'm all in on this or were you?
Lindsay: Oh, I'm Yeah, so my, my date is January 4th, 2020, and I was sober curious. I was surprised to find this, but I was sober curious about 18 months before I stopped for 18 months.
I started, you know, reading books, going to meetings, doing all these kinds of things. And even when I was sober curious, oh my God, the negotiations, I remember, oh my God, Lori, I remember being in a meeting at SheRecovers. And I said, this is what I said, I said to all a room full of women who are [00:18:00] actively not drinking, pursuing their best lives they possibly can.
Can I swear? Okay, so I'm the asshole in the room that says, well, you know, I think I can handle my drinking. So I've just set it up so that if my resting heart rate is 64 or less, I can drink that day. What? But that's what I said. And like, that's delusional. That's absolutely delusional. And the book that really did it for me was Ando's at Johnson's book drink, the intimate relationship between women and alcohol.
And I've said, and I've since become friends and I've had her on my show and all anyways. And so in preparation for one of our recent interviews, I was trying to find some email correspondence that we had recently had. And so I just, I just searched her name through my email and saw email in 2018 I'm like, because I had.
I had quit drinking in 2020 and sure enough, there was an email from me to Anne in 2018 saying that I had read her book and it was like [00:19:00] the stamp of approval I never wanted, that I was an alcoholic, right? And so what was so interesting about that is that I, so I was sober curious for a year and a half.
I thought I was only sober curious for six months. So anyways, I was an eye opener, but in my last six months of my drinking, it escalated. This is true that the things that we try to remember if we actually talk about them and recognize them, they don't sting as much.
But August 9th, 2019 was a big day for me. I had a babysitter and I was supposed to go to a business meeting and it was a Friday night. We were going to go to Morton's for dinner, me and this fellow associate, and he cancelled. And I was pissed off because I had a babysitter. This is in my drinking days.
Craig my daughter's father, wasn't available to, to do anything. And so I was just pissed off. So what did I do? I got myself dressed up by myself because at that point my only friends were drinking friends, and I went down to the restaurant where Craig and I were married. And I sat, I bellied up to the bar because that was common for me.
Lindsay: I sat at the bar, [00:20:00] got completely shit faced, and in the span of about three hours had nine drinks. I am 5'4 and 130 pounds. I can't take that. But I managed to, you know, quote unquote, make friends with people. They were not my friends. They were all a bunch of people with a drinking problem who had bellied up to the bar, who were sitting there by themselves, hoping to make friends at this fancy joint, thinking that we look sophisticated.
So anyways, I drank my face off and I go home at about nine 30 and I. And it was so horrible to Craig and sure, you know, anybody who's in a long term relationship with anybody, we kind of get on each other's nerves sometimes. So there's entirely some truth to the things that I was saying, but not how I said it.
Not what I said, completely unexcusable. I was like, I was an asshole, total. And I woke up the next morning and I was one of those things where I wasn't sure if my marriage was going to survive the night because I was that horrible to him. And I woke up in the morning with dread fear, go downstairs. [00:21:00] And I, I said hello to Craig and he said to me, he was in the kitchen making breakfast for our daughter and he put down the utensils calmly and he turned to me, he's 6'4, 240 pounds, he's a pretty intimidating dude, and he turned to me and he said, Lindsay, that will never happen again.
And I said, Craig, he says, you're misunderstanding that will never happen again. And I knew at that time that I was going to, I knew that I was going to lose my marriage if I continue drinking, because the only reason I was an asshole was because of my drinking. And within 36 hours, I was back at the liquor store and had bought two bottles of wine and drank them.
And then I continued to drink until January.
Lori: And what happened that day?
Lindsay: Oh, so January 24th. I had tickets to go to the Phantom of the Opera, and in my earlier in my life, I had a professional career as an opera singer, and I had lost that because I was [00:22:00] a drunk asshole. Not on stage, I was great on stage.
That's why I had a career, but I was terrible in the parties in between, and I would get drunk and screw up relationships to be honest. Honest and concise. So fine. Anyway. So I had lost my, the thing that I had loved the most. And so anyways, I still knew people in the business. And so I had some friends that were the Phantom of the Opera.
I bought tickets to go with a friend of mine. And because at this point in my drinking I was just bitter. And so I bought these tickets without asking the person that I wanted to go with me, if they were available, I just went and bought these expensive tickets. And of course the person wasn't available.
He said, Lindsay, I can't do that. I can't do that night. And we had someone else going on. And I was upset by that. And so I phoned up a mom friend of mine and we went to dinner. And before I got to dinner, I'd had two bottles of wine before I even went for dinner. And so by the time dinner happened, anyways, I don't remember the show.
I don't remember talking to people after the show. I don't remember any of it. But when I woke up the next morning, I put on [00:23:00] my robe, put 3 a. m. shame game solid in place, right? It was 6 o'clock in the morning, felt like shit, everything. I go downstairs in my robe and I'm standing in my kitchen and I started calling out all the things in my kitchen that I hated.
I hate that teacup. I hate that tea towel. And I stopped because I had just woken up and every, the, the only verb I was using was hate. I'm like, what? And then, then I recognized that all of the things that I said that I hated in my kitchen, I had put there. Then I paused and then I thought, okay, if I can put all of those things there, I can un put all of those things.
And I knew what I had to do, and I never drank again.
I remember you telling that on the first episode. And what did you do after? How did you get help?
Lindsay: Oh,
Lori: you went, okay. I [00:24:00]
Lindsay: went for a walk. And for me I like, I was totally out of shape.
Right. And so I went for a one kilometer walk, which is like 0. 6 of a mile. Like it's not far, but I felt, I felt empowered because I had done something good for myself versus something. So I felt like a rock star. And so that was what I did on. That's all I remember from the first day. And then the second day, when I woke up.
I woke up at six o'clock without, six in the morning, without a hangover, which is the first time. And I don't remember how long that I woke up without a hangover. Six o'clock in the morning, my eyes were open. And the very first thing, I said to myself was, I'm a non alcoholic. And I went, Oh, I was, I had 24 hours of not having a drink and I don't know where that came from, but I said, I'm a non alcoholic and I was so proud of myself and I got out of bed and I went for a walk.
And every day after that, I just walked like one step further. I'm going to go to the [00:25:00] mailbox today. Today I'm going to go to the light, you know, today I'm going to go to the sign and I would just walk a little bit further. And what I was coming to learn is that I had the capacity. To take the next step and do it every day, that in combination with I'm a non alcoholic, I'm something I'm proud of.
That worked for me.
Lori: That worked for you. That was your focus. And it really goes back to that identity too. Were you concerned with being an alcoholic?
Lindsay: Oh, it sounds like you
Lori: said that you already accepted that.
Lindsay: Yeah, like I remember one of my associates said to me, Lindsay, you know, you're a really heavy drinker.
And I got pissed off at them because I'm like, that's not a nice thing to say to somebody. Let's forget the fact that it was true. Right. All of my friends at that point were drinking friends. Like I, I knew what was going on. I knew what was going on, but I, I didn't, I didn't [00:26:00] have the language.
I didn't have the ability to understand that what I was searching for was relief. What I thought was that I was giving myself a reward, but I don't, or I deserve a drink. I would say that all the time. I deserve a drink. But now, like, no, you don't deserve a drink. Because when we say I deserve a drink, we're saying, we're saying I deserve the cancer diagnosis.
I deserve the DUI. I deserve not being able to see my grandchildren or my siblings, whatever it is. I deserve to not get promoted. That's what we're saying when we're saying I deserve a drink. And no you don't. You don't deserve that.
Lori: Powerful stuff. I'm so proud of you. We've really have talked about the alcohol free lifestyle and like some of the things that it takes to transition to an alcohol free lifestyle and what it doesn't take is that rock bottom. It's change can happen. The alcohol free lifestyle is for everyone coming to terms with where you are and the [00:27:00] timing and asking yourself some better questions like what do I need relief from?
What am I drinking because of? All of those things they are The first steps, would you say, to transitioning to an alcohol free lifestyle?
Lindsay: I would, but there's something we're missing. That's really important.
And that is, we have got, we have got to start. We have to start saying the things that we don't want to say, but we say them in the company of women also saying the things.
And that's why community matters. So Laurie, you've got your community. I've got my community and together we're doing collaborations, all those kinds of wonderful things, but there's all kinds of communities. And so it doesn't matter if it's yours, if it's mine. Doesn't matter. I believe in communities for women only because the reasons why women drink are different.
How alcohol affects women is different. Women deal with hormones and alcohol. That's different than all the things. And a lot of women have emotional traumas related to men. So I just prefer women's only [00:28:00] communities when we're dealing with these vulnerable types of situations. And we absolutely have to talk to other Women and it's best if they're strangers, because it's hard for us to share these really vulnerable things with the people that love us because we don't want them to change their opinion of us and right.
And so why don't we just do it with other women, and it's funny and I know you know this. It's that these other people who we see on a weekly basis know our deepest, darkest secrets. It's true for me, even today, people that I went through my early days with, we are all on speed dial. It doesn't matter if we haven't talked to each other in five years, you know, we are there in a heartbeat all the time.
And that. Is community. And that is the power of overcoming. And so to become or in the becoming we need to lead into the overcoming and that can only happen when we lean into the process.
Lori: I agree with you. [00:29:00] There's a different level of respect and non judgment and acceptance and support. What am I thinking of the word?
Unconditional. Hello, Lori. Unconditional support and love because when you And I think that when you hear from another woman, you relate to this story, it may not be identical, but you relate and you find hope and you find comfort and all of those things that I was missing out on when I stopped drinking, I would have loved to have known somebody else who is going through it and not personally, you're right, I think the aspect you start as strangers and you leave as friends when you go to a community and you find your people there, I know that's what happens in my community, and we need that, we deserve that, and It's scary.
To join I know that for a fact for women of our generation here at 250 and beyond. But, you know, it's something that you can look at, especially going into the new [00:30:00] year. It's like, what am I missing out on? What can I do to make that change and make that transition to going alcohol free? At least get started and.
It's community and getting into a group like Lindsay's wonderful app.
Lindsay: Thank you. And see, this is one of the things that I love. About the app when it comes to the community, like the app is full of content. It's all, you know, it's full of content, but 70 percent of the beauty of the app. Is the engagement that happens month to month and it changes month to month.
And so, for example, Lori, when you came into my app, was that this month or last month? It happened so fast. It was this month. I think it was this month. No, it was last month. It was October. Jeez. Anyway. It was October. Anyway. But so like, so, so what, so what happens in the app is that there's a bunch of different series.
And so you came in to host my monthly Q& A, where together we answered common questions of women who are trying to navigate this. And we both share our perspective. And so these are opportunities for the members of our community to come in and be with the people that inspire them. Because I know there's a lot of people who listen to [00:31:00] your podcast.
And just being able to get into the room with other leaders in the sober space, like I interview a lot of authors, like famous Quitlet, they come in and talk about their books and just being in the room where you can talk to these people, ask them questions, meet other women. What it does is it gives us permission to be possible.
That's what it is that we're building in the app. That's what you're building in your community. We are giving ourselves permission to be all the things that we are destined to be. We just have to step into it and we can do that with community.
Lori: Yeah. I agree. Before we wrap it up, cause I want you to put a nice bow on this conversation.
What would you say to yourself on day one?
Lindsay: Oh,
welcome to the rest of your life.
I would start with that. And I would tell her something that I didn't [00:32:00] come to learn until much later is that for the longest time, I gave that version of myself, I called her drunk jerk, you know, the one that was in the last six months, particularly the one that had me lose my opera career, the thing I love the most.
The woman that was the drinker, you know, I shit on her all the time because it was because of her that I lost everything, but it wasn't until maybe 18 months into my sober journey that I realized it was because of her that I get to lead the life that I now lead. It was her that got me through six failed day ones.
It was her that was with me at the 3 a. m. shame game. It was her that had to care for my child at the time when I wasn't able to. It was her, she was the one that [00:33:00] carried me to the finish line of my drinking so that this newer version of me could take over. It was because of her that I get to stand on the foundation I've now built as a new woman.
But I needed to give gratitude to that woman that got me through.
Lori: I can feel and hear the gratitude. And I always think that too. I'm so grateful to you. You can do it when you're scared. You can do it when you're doubtful of yourself. You can do it when you're telling yourself, you know, I've done this so many times before you can do it. You can start and it's never too late.
And like you were saying earlier, and I want to touch on this. You can start. Mid sober October, you could start at the end of dry January. It doesn't have to be a Monday. It doesn't have to be the first of the month. Whenever you find that moment where you come to this realization, like it's [00:34:00] enough rock enough.
It doesn't have to get worse than this. I don't think it's going to get better than this. And I'm sick of trying to make it better. That's going to be that moment for you.
Lindsay: And everything's going to be okay. It's going to be better than okay. It's going to be great.
Lori: Talk about She Walks Canada and what you have going on in 2025.
Lindsay: Oh, so she walks Canada, my baby, so she's been around since 2022 and she was a reflection of what worked for me and my journey to overcome over drinking. Right? And so what we do is we have 22 phases. We have our support phase, which is 365 days of the year. And then 100 days of the year. We have a walking initiative.
And our walk initiative in the first year was to walk across Canada. Why not? And we did that three times in our allotted amount of time. I thought, holy smokes. And we had helped 600 women during that time. And so we continued with our support offered by professional lit coaches, women who've been through the, this process.[00:35:00]
And in our second year, it was still kind of COVID up in Canada. We weren't entirely sure if people were comfortable working together. So we said, why don't we just circumnavigate the globe and half the time? Like we were kidding, but we're like, Oh, great idea. So that's what we did. And then we, we certainly circumnavigated the globe six days ahead of schedule in 94 days.
And so last year we thought, you know what, I think we're good to go. We can actually get together in, in, in public. And so I said to my team, listen, I'm going to be pleased as punch if we can get 50 walks across North America. On Sundays for these for this 100 day initiative, and we had over 250 in communities across North America and 49 percent of our participation is the United States and 49 is in, or sorry, 51 is in Canada.
So, so the movement has really, really expanded, which is great. And then. Building upon that we, I built the Uncovery app, which is further leading into this idea that we don't need to hit rock bottom [00:36:00] rock enough will do. I call it the Uncovery app because not everybody needs recovery, but we do need to uncover the woman we've always been.
We don't want to go back to a version we were. We want to uncover who we've always meant to be. And so it's a real process of how, how do we do this? How do we lean into the personal development? And so we have people like you, for example, that come in and host the Q and A where we together share our thoughts, our insights, and, and how we overcome this.
There's a guest speaker series where there's authors, other influencers in, in the world. We feature success stories of my programming, and then there's a masterclass on core values and principles. And they're just A lot of information. You have a lot of content in there. It's beautifully organized.
Lori: You have the quick videos that you answer a question. You talk about a topic because you don't have to go in and like, oh, my gosh, I got to learn this in like an hour. You get it done. It's very meaningful. It's very intentional. [00:37:00] And you are helping so many women.
I love the two women who got on our Q and a that day, they were so kind. And being able to talk to them after it was a great experience. And I know I just invited you to come into my community and hopefully February or March, and we've got a great topic. I'm not going to say what it is, but it's going to be good.
And it just matters. And that's what we can do for each other. We can support each other at every level of this. And you have done incredible work. I'm in awe of you. And I'm going to have all of your information linked down below. So, She Walks Canada, when can they get in? Like, what is the first Point like in 2025.
Lindsay: Our walk initiative is always March because I don't know Canadian winters or who, you know, I know there's not a lot. I know also down with our folks in the in the states are like can we just wait till a little bit later in the year. So our walk initiative is starting in March but you can always join the professional leg group coaching calls Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
But I will say we're doing a very exciting [00:38:00] walk here in Toronto. If anybody's going to be coming up to Toronto, I'm going to be leading a walk this year, and it's going to be on the top of the CN Tower, which is 310 meters or stories above ground. It's higher than the Eiffel Tower, wearing nothing but a harness.
And so we're going to conquer our fears together way above ground. We're going to reach the stars. Together. Holy
Lori: moly. Are you recording this? Is there video?
Lindsay: I hope so. Yeah, I'm sure it'll be a press opportunity for sure. So that's She Walks Canada. And then the Uncovery app is live and happening right now.
And there's going to be a special how to get sober program starting in January and even now it's work with me for 20 bucks a month and I work out one on one. Yeah.
Lori: That's amazing. Okay. Well, I'm going to have it linked down below and you also offer a seven day free trial. So you can go in and check it out.
Yep. For sure. Well done. Thank you so much for being here. Lindsay. We'll be back together again on the podcast for sure.
Lindsay: Yeah. We've got so much to talk about.
Lori: Yes. Thank you. All
Lindsay: right. Thank you. Lori!
Hey, there! I’m Lori, the host of the To 50 and Beyond podcast.
Where aging and living alcohol-free are celebrated.
To 50 and Beyond is about self-discovery, living for today, and designing an alcohol-free life that alcohol can’t compete with.
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