Dear Midlife Woman: You Are the Solution (Not Alcohol)
EPISODE #352
This one goes out to midlife women who are working on living alcohol-free.
You are the solution is a core belief of mine. I believe it about every single woman who doubts herself and discounts her own capabilities to move forward in life without drinking alcohol.
My Story
I had my first taste of alcohol at 14 and my last at 45 in 2013. For 30 years I turned to alcohol as my ride or die. Alcohol had my back, or so I believed. That belief was created by my teenage self.
When I stopped drinking at 45, my self-efficacy was at an all-time low. I had no clue what I would do to calm myself, have fun, celebrate, or just sit on my couch on a Sunday afternoon without a drink. I felt like a stranger living in my own home. I avoided mirrors. I didn't know what I liked or didn't like. But I was going to find out.
I can sum up my relationship with alcohol as this - it wasn't what I thought it was.
The Loop of No Solution
Alcohol is not a sustainable tool for life management. Here is what my loop looked like: drink to feel more confident for a few hours, feel worse about myself the next day. Drink to take away the Sunday scaries, feel more anxious and panicky on Monday. Later in life, that lasted until Tuesday or Wednesday.
No solution there. It only made it worse.
Research and studies confirm what I see in my work every day. Women in midlife are drinking to cope with their emotions, changes in their homes, relationships, finances, bodies, and how they feel about themselves. What happens for most of us is we drink, we see that it provides relief, we keep drinking, and then we realize it is not working like it used to.
How I Got Out
I took alcohol off the table. It is not an option for me. I went all in and I would not be here if I didn't. I was tired of waiting and seeing. I was done.
Going all in is where you give yourself the opportunity to step into the role alcohol once played and become the solution.
You Are the Solution In Practice
When you have an urge to drink, say out loud: I am the solution, not alcohol. Then ask yourself — what can I do for myself right now that alcohol can't?
A few practical examples:
Move your body. Walk, clean, dance. For me it is dancing every single day. Turn on George Michael's Freedom and give it a good go. That is a double whammy — you work through the urge and you do something sustainable.
At a party or restaurant, repeat: I am the solution to how I feel right now. Order your favorite NA beverage. Leave when you have had enough. You will always walk out proud of yourself — and that is something alcohol never gave you.
Take out a piece of paper and write "You Are the Solution" at the top. List your common challenges and next to each one write your solution. Two columns. Simple. Personalized. Yours.
You do not need an overloaded toolbox. You need a few things that work for you — and the belief that you are more capable of solutions in your life than alcohol will ever be.
I’m with you.
Say hello or send me a request for a complimentary call to work with me privately by emailing me at hellolori@lorimassicot.com.
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Description text goes here
Hey, there! I’m Lori, the host of the To 50 and Beyond podcast.
Where aging and living alcohol-free are celebrated.
To 50 and Beyond is about self-discovery, living for today, and designing an alcohol-free life that alcohol can’t compete with.
I’m with you.
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