Ideas for Celebrating Sober Anniversaries for You and Loved Ones
Episode 332
Have you ever wondered whether you should celebrate your sober anniversaries—or those of loved ones? I sure did!
I wasn’t sure if my first year was worth celebrating or how to celebrate it, but over time, I figured it out. I just celebrated 12 years on August 11, 2025, and in this episode, I talk about my favorite ways to celebrate.
Why Celebrate?
Celebrating your sober milestones—whether it’s your first day, your first year, or 12 years and beyond—is so important because it fuels your motivation. It reminds you that what you’re doing matters, and those wins, big or small, are worth honoring.
Celebrating helps build a positive relationship with yourself, strengthens your commitment, and shows you that sobriety isn’t about what you’re giving up—it’s about all the good you’re gaining. It’s about being kind to yourself and recognizing your strength every step of the way.
Ideas for Celebrating Sobriety Anniversaries
First of all, congratulate yourself. Give yourself a big hug. Acknowledge yourself if that's what you do on any kind of sober anniversary; that's enough. I think that's fantastic.
My favorite way to celebrate is in reflection. And for this 12th anniversary, I did write some things to myself on day one. I reflect by walking. I like to get out in nature. I take notes on my phone, or I've been using my voice recorder app, which has been very helpful for me. And then I write the thoughts down in my journal on the day.
Browse Etsy and search for sobriety gifts. Treat yourself to something special to celebrate your milestone—whether it’s custom sobriety chips, jewelry, or apparel. It’s a meaningful way to mark the day with a reminder of how far you’ve come.
Take a “do whatever you want” day—stay in bed, watch your favorite shows, rest, or just be. Giving yourself that kind of permission is a powerful way to honor yourself.
Go to your favorite coffee shop. Sometimes just getting out and enjoying a cozy drink feels like a celebration. Then make yourself a special meal at home to nourish your body and soul.
Pay it forward. Send a kind text or message to someone you know who’s working on living alcohol free. Celebrating each other helps build community and reminds us we’re not alone.
Plan a trip or book one in advance. Having something to look forward to adds excitement and keeps motivation up.
Have a solo dance party. Play your favorite music and move however you want. It’s a fun way to celebrate your freedom.
Get a tattoo that represents your sobriety or growth. It’s a personal way to mark your journey—something etched on your skin that means something only to you.
Plant something special for yourself—a flower, a tree, or a garden. It grows along with you and feels like a living symbol of your new beginnings.
Buy yourself fresh flowers from a local grocery store or florist. Fresh blooms can lift your spirits and brighten your space.
Pick up a new book or start a journal to begin the next chapter. Writing can help keep you grounded and focused.
Gift yourself a special piece of jewelry you can engrave. Whether it’s a word, date, or phrase, it’s a secret celebration you carry with you.
Treat yourself to a spa day or a massage. Physical self-care helps you connect with your body and celebrate taking care of yourself.
Go for a hike or spend time outside in nature. Being outdoors refreshes the mind and helps you reflect.
Start a new tradition for yourself that you look forward to every year on your anniversary. Traditions help anchor your celebration and make it feel real.
Write a letter to your day-one self or to your future self. It’s a kind way to acknowledge the distance you’ve traveled and who you’re becoming.
Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for—opportunities, lessons, and joys that sobriety has given you.
Donate to a charity in your name or in honor of your sobriety date. Giving back keeps you connected and makes the day even more meaningful.
For Loved Ones: How to Support Someone's Sobriety
If somebody has shared with you that they are working on being sober, and you know of their date, that's your opening to acknowledge it. It could be simply a phone call, like, "I'm proud of you. I know this day is very special to you," or, "How are you feeling today?"
You could:
Ask them how you can celebrate them.
Take a loved one a cake or buy a cake if they enjoy a sweet treat.
Give them a handwritten card congratulating them on their achievement.
Take them out to dinner where there's no alcohol focus.
Take them on a hike or take them to a coffee shop.
Buy a small, meaningful gift like a piece of jewelry or a journal.
You deserve to acknowledge your wins, from small to big and everything in between. Remember, it really strengthens that relationship with yourself, keeps you going, builds your confidence in yourself, pride, and it could be fun!
I’m always celebrating you!
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Mentioned in this episode
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Today I am talking about celebrating sober anniversaries, what that means, why it matters, and ideas on how to celebrate yourself, and a loved one who is working on sobriety. I took a break from the podcast, and during this time I celebrated 12 years of sobriety. On August 11th, 2025, I started drinking as a teenager, and I wore the party girl identity that I created at 14 as a badge of honor.
All the way up until I was 45 on the night that I stopped drinking. Now I am a proud sober woman and I have learned to celebrate myself early on in my sobriety as way to motivate myself to keep going. If you are new to the podcast, hello my new friend, and if you're returning back to the podcast, thank you so much for being here.
I am Lori. I'm a certified life and recovery coach. I work with women in midlife and beyond helping them start living an alcohol free lifestyle. Many of us, we get to that point. And this is where I was for sure. Ah, I've gotta stop drinking. I've gotta quit drinking. And with that comes all of the fear around what we are really quitting.
And yes, it's alcohol, but then there's other things involved. And so I know where I was. I really thought that it was going to be the end of fun, the end of socializing, the end of relaxing, and calming the hives on my neck every time I got nervous. But it wasn't, and what you'll hear today is just this message that I gave to myself on day one.
It wasn't the end.
I lead a team of women in my community who are committed to living an alcohol-free lifestyle, and I work privately with women online who are seeking support. I absolutely love what I do, and I'm sharing it with you because I wouldn't be here if I hadn't decided to remove alcohol from my life on, that summer night in August.
I wanted to feel better. I wanted to look better. I didn't wanna continue to do the same stuff I had been doing for 30 years. As I got older, I was in perimenopause and it just doesn't mix well with alcohol, perimenopause, and post menopause. I felt exhausted. I was frustrated. I was severely anxious. I.
I was worried and scared about what my drinking meant and how it would play out if I continued to drink. I literally was that party girl, and I thought everybody drinks like me until a couple years before I stopped drinking. When I got a hit that. My drinking, probably not what I thought it was, and it's really difficult to be in that place.
And it took me two years to get to where I was on that night. I went all in that night, I poured two bottles of Chardonnay down the sink and I was sobbing I really did think it was the end of who I was. It's true. It was that party girl left the party that night.
I can still party though. I do. I just don't drink alcohol. And also I don't party that often 'cause I don't like it. These ideas that I'm gonna give you today, some of them are a little bit on the bigger scale, and then others are just simple things that you can do and you can do it for yourself.
And reflection is one of those things that I do. For myself, and I will talk a little bit more about that, and I reflected this time around on that day one version of me and what I would say to her, I would take her gently by the arms and I would pull her towards me, and I would look at her and I would say, this is not the end.
It's just the beginning. Also, I am so proud of you and you are so much stronger than you think in this moment, and you will find out that what you thought about yourself is not true. You will find out that you can commit, that you can follow through, that you can do the hard shit, and that it's so character building.
You'll also find out that what you believed about alcohol is not true. This commitment. Are making for yourself, we'll set you free. And then I would also tell her, please stop living in the fear of forever being sober because at 12 years is not forever. I would've missed out on so much goodness and really hard times in the past 12 years if I hadn't.
Quit drinking. So I'm so grateful for the past 12 years. I cannot predict the future. That's what I was trying to do on day one. I was trying to predict the future and there's so much fear there. And the reason why I'm sharing this with you, because I know this is what is happening, uh, with so many women that I have talked to over the years and, and right now, it is that idea that if I commit to this, it's going to be forever.
And I get that. I get the fear, but then also. What if it was forever? Like what if that was your lifestyle forever? Something to think about. But at 12 years, it's not forever for me, hopefully, but I really would've missed out on those times. All of those times taught me how to live life without the need or the association with alcohol, because everything was associated with alcohol.
One last thing I wanna tell this gal, this gal who was sobbing. Super sad that she was giving up her ride or die. The things you tell yourself you can't do because you're not drinking will unfold These associations, you will do the things that you want someday and the rest, this is the really cool part you will learn.
You don't wanna do 'em anymore. You were doing it maybe because alcohol was involved. If you're in that place and you are worried about these things, know that this is normal. Know that I am with you. Have compassion for yourself. Ask yourself if the forever and the thoughts about what I can't do anymore are keeping you from moving forward in something that you wanna do, or you at least wanna try it because, gosh, being curious about living alcohol free and giving it a try.
It's a good thing, but if those things are holding you back, it's difficult to get started Wherever you are on the road to alcohol freedom, I'd want you to know that I am with you. I'm inspired by you. I'm always cheering for you. Going alcohol free is a badass choice. It's not an easy one to make.
It's not for everyone. Not everyone will do this. If you're doing it and I'm talking to you, if you are working on it, if you've had a half a day, one day, if you are continuing to work on it, you don't have to be a hundred percent alcohol free to, you are a hundred percent. You are all in. I am proud of you and take a moment to acknowledge the work that you are doing.
Give your yourself a hug from me, please. I am so with you. And if you're listening to this because you have a loved one who is working on living alcohol free and wants some ideas on how you can acknowledge them. Yay. I'm glad you're here. I decided to go alone on this road to alcohol freedom. In 2013. I knew of AA and I thought, if I can't do it on my own, then I will go to aa.
I made this choice out of sheer embarrassment. About where I was in my relationship with alcohol and not being able to drink. The embarrassment and the shame about my drinking came later. But in the beginning, I was just very embarrassed. I failed at drinking. Also, I am not somebody who enjoys public speaking at all.
And I thought, there's never any way I'm gonna talk about my drinking or my sobriety publicly. So I chose to go it alone and I mention AA because if you've heard and you've know about AA and you've seen the chips that they give at certain days that they celebrate, I have.
Oh goodness. It's gonna get me emotional. I have a really nice wooden box that my late brother-in-law had. He was in recovery and he was such a big part of the program and I know that he would be okay with me sharing this here. Um. I have all of his chips and it's something that I really treasure. So that idea came about and it's been an idea to celebrate those anniversaries for a very long time, from AA and those chips.
And I'm gonna share a. A resource where you can get your own customized chips, if that's what you wanna do, if you are outside of the program. The reason why it's important to celebrate and hear me out on this, you know when somebody congratulates you on something and you just get that good feeling, like, ah, I'm proud of myself, somebody else congratulated me.
Right? We get that. Um. The boost and we get that confidence and we're like, oh, okay, well I wanna keep going with this. Research does show that celebrating yourself, those big and small wins really builds the motivation. And I have been asked this for so many years. How do you stay motivated to keep it going?
The same today as when I did back then I started to write in my journal two words for you. Yay me. If you've listened to the podcast before, you've heard me say that I love when my clients say that back to me. I love when we talk about it in my community. It is those two words yay me that I wrote in my journal and I was not somebody who celebrated herself.
Uh. At all before I stopped drinking, so that helps me stay motivated. Also, I consider a win going a whole day without thinking about drinking. That took me a while to get to that point, but I remember thinking, wow, that's really cool. That added to the motivation. Me also those days, and I had so many of them, like, this is the day I go back to drinking.
There is no way whatever's going on, I can't handle it. I can't enhance it. I am gonna go back to drinking today, and I didn't. So if you ever had one of those days, that's when you go, okay, I'm so proud of you. So you don't have to wait for the days or the years or anything like that. There's so much celebration in the wins, those small wins, saying no to something that you know is going to tempt you, especially in the early days.
That's a win. Celebrate those things. Today, I'm specifically talking about anniversaries. I'm gonna give you permission from day one to whenever you can celebrate yourself. Okay? And I know that it's not an easy thing to do for a lot of women. Like I said, I was not in the habit of celebrating myself. I was actually in the habit of putting myself down more than that.
So that felt like that pure. Real celebration. It wasn't fake or phony or filtered by alcohol. It was actually me being really sweet and nice to myself, which that's a huge win. I'm gonna honor her on day one forever for the rest of my life, because that helps me to continue on, to continue to strengthen the motivation.
But more than that, the relationship. And think about that relationship with yourself when you are celebrating yourself and you're giving yourself a. I'm so proud of you. It doesn't have to be about anybody else Between you and you, you build more confidence and trust and pride in yourself. You get to a point where you don't wanna give that up.
The reward becomes the celebration, the confidence. The trust, the pride, not drinking alcohol to celebrate. I had so many parties and celebrations in my life, enough for two lifetimes. I don't remember a lot of those times and that really stinks. I wanna remember it all without the filter of alcohol. 'cause that is the real, pure, honest celebration.
And. I look back my wedding, goodness, all the holidays, Spencer's birthday, my son Spence, he was 12. When I quit drinking all of his birthday parties, I was always drinking. Now without that alcohol in my hand, I'm present in the moment and this is gonna be a podcast that I'm working on 'cause I'm really practicing living in the moment, getting out of the future.
So that is a podcast coming your way probably sooner rather than later. So you get it so you can celebrate from day one. Above. Those are the anniversaries. You could celebrate those small wins to the big wins because a lot of us will consider, Hey, I said no to an event. That could be like a smaller win for me.
It wasn't. But I mean that could be a smaller win for me. But for you, like that's a big deal. And then we start to question, should I celebrate that? I'm gonna talk about that. Let's talk about some ways to celebrate yourself. First, I wanna just say, I believe that this is more of a mindset than anything.
It's you being mindful of you making the decision to go alcohol free and doing the work that it takes to stay alcohol free. It's first just that inward celebration. It could be a silent yay me. It's just you sitting and acknowledging it, or could be a whisper. I am so proud of myself. Think of things that you love to do or enjoy receiving as a gift.
I have ideas for you, but when you think about something like, okay, that would be very special for me to do for myself. It doesn't have to be tangible, but if you wanna put some money towards it, sure. I'm all for it. You could send yourself something like two months before your anniversary, whatever one it is you're celebrating, and you could wrap it up and you could put it away.
And on that day you take it out and then you open it up. Oh yeah. I'm gonna share some of the ideas that I have, and then also like ideas from women that I've worked with. I wanna talk about my first year. I didn't celebrate like I do today, even though I did the same thing that I did. Year one on year 12, and I've done this several years in between.
I went and saw the Counting Crows, which Counting Crows is my favorite band. Talk about that in just a minute. I didn't celebrate back then like I do today, because my mindset at that time was, yet is it a big deal, but maybe it's not that big of a deal and there weren't people around me that were doing it.
What do I do for myself? I had no idea what that night. Revealed itself to me, something that was very celebratory. And so let me just talk first about the crows. Okay. I fell in love with the County Crows in 1993. I remember the exact moment. I was listening to K Rock, which is a radio station in la and I lived in my hometown Long Beach, California.
I lived on the peninsula in Belmont Shore. If you know, you know, and I was driving to my escrow job and my dark blue Honda Prelude. I had the sunroof open and the music to Mr. Jones started to play. And I will link that in the show notes. If you've never heard this, I don't assume you know who the county crows are.
I. But it was the music and then it was the sha la la la la la. Mm-hmm. And I was hooked. I was hooked on the band. And the lead singer, Adam Duritz, got my husband hooked in 1997. We see them whenever they're touring, we will go, I've never missed a tour in the past. I don't know how many years that has been.
I love everything about them. I know that the song round here, the line, she has trouble acting normal when she's nervous. I'm sure it was written for me. I connected very well with the music and the reason why I'm sharing this story with you, when I stopped drinking, I couldn't listen to it 'cause I did listen to it when I was sad, happy, and everything in between.
When I stopped, I couldn't listen, and I also said, I'm never gonna go to a concert again. Concerts were my favorite thing to do. Counting Crows was heavily associated with Chardonnay and lots of it, but during my first year.
It was August of 2014. They played a concert at the Delmar Races here in San Diego after the races.
So my son, my husband and I went to the races and then we walked over to where they were playing outdoors and we got to see them in a very close up to the stage. It was the coolest concert, and I had a moment where the sweet, drunk, younger girl. Spilled her beer literally on my feet and on my legs kind of splashed on dispensed my son who was standing next to me.
I looked at Spencer after that. First of all, she was very apologetic. Very apologetic, and that was me when I was drinking. If I did something, I'm like, oh my gosh, are you mad? I'm so sorry. And I looked at Spencer after I said, that would've been me drinking. He saw me drinking at 12. He knew he'd been around me several times.
Like I said, I drank during his birthday parties. He saw me, but he was never at a concert with me while I was drinking. There was no limit on what I would drink at concerts. So after that moment, it was one of those moments that really validated. The need to celebrate because I was so happy that I was not in that place anymore.
And I said to myself, I'm so glad that I'm not like that anymore. And I was very, very kind to her. 'cause I knew what it was like. And that is one of those wins. And it's also that reminder, the things that we tell ourselves we can't do. If we wanna do 'em without drinking alcohol, we're gonna do 'em. Chances are we're gonna enjoy it so much better.
I remember every song, now I am fully present, like I am in such a zone when I'm at their concerts. It wasn't one of those things that I didn't wanna do anymore. I wanted to do it. I just didn't know how to do it without drinking alcohol. And so that first concert, that was like that moment where I recognized also that, what else can I do now?
Because those things that I told myself, I can't, they're not true. I can do it. What else is next? So my first idea? Yeah, a concert or anything that has that meaning to you. If you heard it, if you heard the story, if you heard the emotions, and if you wanted to see the Counting Crows. This tour was phenomenal compared to the last couple of tours.
Absolutely phenomenal and their new music is great. Okay, enough about the Counting Crows. Let's get onto these ideas on how to celebrate. First of all, congratulate yourself. Give yourself a big hug. Acknowledge yourself if that's what you do on any kind of sober anniversary, that's enough. I think that's fantastic.
My favorite way to celebrate is in reflection. And for this 12th anniversary, I did write some things to myself on day one, which I read to you in the beginning. I reflect by walking. I like to get out in nature. I take notes on my phone, or I've been using my voice recorder app, which has been very helpful for me.
And then I write the thoughts down in my journal on the day. Another idea. Go on Etsy, search sobriety gifts. There are customizable chips. So if you're outside of aa, you wanna give yourself something really special. You can customize chips, you can get other merchandise there. You can make t-shirts a sweatshirt, a mug.
I'm thinking one that says yay me, coming soon to lori maico.com. It's a merch. I would love a good yay me cup. It's been on the list, so yeah, it could be coming soon. Okay, sure. Take a solo date for yourself. Take yourself out on this day. Whatever you enjoy doing. I have a client who loves home Goods and grabbing a coffee before and strolling through and maybe picking up something tangible for yourself.
Go to a coffee shop. Make a special meal. I love breakfast. I just love breakfast right now. So my breakfast time is one of my favorite times during the day, so I'll make myself a special breakfast. I really eat the same thing every single day. Eggs a little bit of avocado. Some strawberries or clementines, which I had this morning, and then a piece of Dave's killer bread toast.
I love it. I sat down with myself that day and I did a reflection and I had my breakfast, and that was something very special to me. You could do some kind of sweet treat, bake a cake. Paula, who's in my community team, alcohol free. I link her episode down below where she talked about self love. She baked herself a cake that said yay me on it for her one year.
Pay it forward. If you know someone who is working on living alcohol free, if you've got an accountability buddy, send them a text. Let them know that you're thinking of them. Congratulate them. Take a trip, done this before, or book a trip in advance knowing that you have it lined up for a special date that you wanna celebrate Solo dance party.
That happens daily here. I love a solo dance party. A lot of women that I know get a tattoo. Paula, again, she did get a tattoo and she talks about that in the episode. Plant something special for yourself. Go to Trader Joe's or your local grocery or flower store and buy yourself some fresh flowers. Get a new book, a new journal to start off the next year.
Uh, a special piece of jewelry. You can engrave that. You get that on Etsy as well, just for you. No one else knows. It could be a saying or a quote or your date. Stay in bed all day. Do whatever you want day. Have a spa day or a massage? Do a hike, start a new tradition for yourself. What would that be like?
My tradition, it really is accounting crows. They don't play on the date, but they typically tour when they do in August or September. That is something that I look forward to and I just say, oh, immediately, yes, I'm going to be celebrating myself because I was the girl that said I would never, ever go to a concert and I would never listen to them again.
Traditions are great here. Write a letter to yourself on day one, or write a letter to your future self. Make a gratitude list and talk about all of the opportunities that you've gained, the things that you have learned and what you're so grateful for, for being here today. And if you're grateful like I was, for not being in that place where you were, when you recognize it in somebody else, it's okay to write that down.
It's okay to acknowledge that you can donate. To a charity in your name, in honor of your sobriety date, and for loved ones who are listening. If there is somebody in your life who has shared with you that they are working on being sober and you know of their date, or maybe you don't know, this is what I will say.
If somebody has shared with you, that's a very special thing to do, and you knowing it, that's your opening. Of course, you know the relationship. That's an opening To acknowledge it, it could be simply a phone call, like, I'm proud of you. I know this day is very special to you, or, how are you feeling today?
You could bake them a cake. Spencer baked me a Pillsbury sugar free. Was it chocolate? No, it was white with chocolate frosting, sugar free, and a big pink frosted 12 on top of it . That was so nice. That makes me feel so good. And somebody out there who's working on this, if they hear from you, just know it's gonna be very special for them.
Give them a handwritten card, take them out to dinner where there's no alcohol focused, or take them on a hike or take them to a coffee shop. Buy a small, meaningful gift. Or just ask them, you know, how would you like to celebrate? Let them choose. What is the word that I'm thinking of? It's very. Delicate.
It's a delicate topic, but if somebody has opened up to you about it, or if you are somebody and you wanna open up to one of your loved ones about it, take some time to reflect on what feels good for you and, and let them know at that time. Like if you are celebrating a milestone, this means a lot to me and I want you to know about it.
And if you want them to celebrate you ask them. And I know that kind of feels awkward, but say, Hey, would you like to go? Get lunch with me or something. I wanna celebrate, I wanna talk about this with you. That's another win. There's so much growth that we go through, and especially in midlife and beyond, where we're learning how to do things differently.
We're unlearning the ways that we used to do things while we were drinking and asking for support and reaching out. It's very meaningful and in our relationships, not easy to do, but you can do it if you want to. You deserve to acknowledge your wins from small to big and everything in between. Remember, it really strengthens that relationship with yourself, keeps you going, builds your confidence in yourself, pride, and it could be really fun.
I hope that you heard that in this episode. If you are a loved one and, and you know somebody in your life who's really working on this, I am with you too. I know that that's difficult place to be in, but if you are open for it and if the door has opened to let you into what they are working on, go ahead and give them.
Some sort of acknowledgement. It's appreciated. I know it's appreciated on my end, I thank you so much for listening today. If you are a woman who needs extra support, I have a six week private coaching program that I'm doing discovery sessions for right now. We're gonna start the week of September 22nd, so you wanna get a discovery session.
Comes with enrollment into my community team, alcohol free, which will be very helpful during the holidays to have that extra support. And if you were somebody who wants that community team, alcohol free is available for enrollment right now, and that is something that you get for lifetime access. And I'm preparing everything for our 2026, and I'm so excited for where we're going.
This is a great time during the holidays, right before they're starting off to get that extra support for yourself. I will see you next week with a brand new episode, my friend. I love you so much. I'm sending you a big hug. Yay you. Peace.
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