A Conversation About Seasons of Life and Recovery with Leigh and Anne Walkup
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In this episode, I'm talking to two of my favorite people, Leigh and Anne Walkup. The sisters are back on the podcast to share their thoughts on aging (the joys and the challenges), perimenopause, and we talk about the different seasons of life.
We also talk about recovery and sobriety in the news - it's good news! The sisters share their thoughts about what recovery is like and why it's beneficial to embrace.
They also share their favorite beauty product at the moment, what they're reading and watching, and the latest from their Fall issue of Front Porch Life Magazine.
Mentioned in this episode:
The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah
Winter Rose by Jennifer Donnelly
Leigh and Anne’s past episodes:
Forgiveness, Messing Up, and Moving On
Listen to the episode:
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Hey there. Welcome to To 50 and beyond. I am Lori. I'm your host and I am so happy to be here with you today if you're coming back to the podcast. Thank you so much my friend. And if you're new to the podcast, welcome my friend. Come on in. This is where we talk about aging and living alcohol free later in life.
I don't know what the title of this episode is going to be. I am about to hop on with my friends Ann and Lee Walco. They have been on the podcast over the past seven plus years maybe six times at this point. I asked them to join me today about a conversation around.
Aging and recovery. I realize we don't have a lot of conversations around recovery and I wanna talk about it today. It is the theme inside my community Team, alcohol Free, which is an online community for women in midlife and beyond. Link is always in the show notes. You can join that community if you wanna hang out with me and some other women who are working on living alcohol free together.
That's where I hang out a lot during the week. I asked this question to the community last week. We were doing a wrap up at the end of the month. We wrap up our theme for the month and we talk about all of the conversations. And last month in August, our theme was learning together and we talked about feminine energy and masculine energy.
It was very interesting and our intuition and just all kinds of great topics. And I said, okay, this is what's coming in September. I asked, you know, what does recovery mean to you? And two of the responses was, it's confusing.
And then another one of my members, she said, recovery is about my future, not my past. So I'm very interested in having these conversations during September and I thought I would bring it to you because it can be confusing.
So this is gonna be a wonderful conversation with two people who are so important in my life. I have been meeting with the twins since 2019. We meet every other Monday. And like I said, they're coming on this conversation in two minutes, but we're gonna have a powwow. What we normally do is talk about our business, and our conversations typically.
We'll end up with the same type of challenges or something around our health, our \ our nutrition, our sleep, menopause. So that's what I wanna bring you today. Just a very open conversation. So yeah, I don't know what the title will be but I'm glad you're here.
I'm glad you're here. Whatever it was, it brought you here let me tell you a little bit about Anne and Lee Walco.
They bring me so much. Comfort And I heard this word empowerment, like you can do anything. And I always feel so much better leaving a conversation with them. That's so important in my life right now.
I don't wanna be around people who drain me and who leave me needing a couple of days of recovery . They're so uplifting and positive and they're real and honest and they don't sugarcoat things. And what impresses me about them is business women, they have built an empire, through the Southern Lady Cooks, which will also be down below and front Porch Life Magazine.
I am a subscriber and their magazines are absolutely beautiful. And I know their fall issue is gonna be coming out and I'm gonna ask them about that towards the end of this call. They do this work and they have been so persistent and consistent, and they have done this. And when I say this they have built this huge community on Facebook.
They're building a community around the magazine on Instagram, they do everything themselves. They're good people. They really are good people. So I'm excited to bring this conversation to you today. Thanks again for being here. Here they are.
Hi Ann En Lee. Welcome. Hello? Hello. Okay, let's get the voice detection down because I think the last couple of episodes we've recorded together, I didn't do that.
And can you tell me your age? I am 47. Gonna be 48 in November. Yes. Lee, can you tell me your age? I am also 47 and will be 48 in November. The twins are here. We've just been talking for half an hour before recording this. I wanna mention in the beginning, I came to the call complaining about how hot and dry it is in San Diego and how I just feel so dry, my lips cannot get enough moisture and Lee sneezed. And then not even five minutes later and sneezed and I said.
Is this the power of the twins? Does, does this stuff happen to you often? Yes. Oh yes. All of them, yes. Yeah, yeah. And we, I mean, our allergies are always at the same time. I mean, I don't know, it's, we're pretty connected. It just We're pretty connected. In sync. Yeah. Or maybe conditioned, I don't know, know one or the other.
I love that. Okay, let's get on with this, Lee. What is the date where you said I'm done with alcohol? It is June 7th, right? June 7th, 2016. Yep. June 7th, 2016. And same. What about you? Same day. Yep. Quit. Same time. Let me ask you, Lee, what are you finding joyful about your age today and getting older?
I had a really good friend tell me years ago when I was going into my forties. You're getting ready to enter your, your best season and you're gonna love it. And then when you get into your fifties, you're gonna even enjoy it even more. I think that the season that I'm in right now is that I have nothing to prove and I know who I am and there's a lot of joy and calmness to that.
It's not that I still don't get up every day with a purpose and have things that I want to get done in my life, but I don't have anything to prove to other people. That's just a really great spot to be in. Like, I'm really, really en enjoying where I'm at with my age. Yeah. That's freedom right there.
Yeah. And I have been thinking a lot about the seasons of life. I was listening to a podcast the other day, Lewis Howes, the School of Greatness. He was talking about the seasons of life and like where you are. How long do you think these seasons are?
What ends the season? I'm just curious. I had these thoughts. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, my mom has always said, your life will be in chapters, you know? And I totally agree. I believe that. 'Cause I feel like some chapters are very long, you know, and I think some chapters are very short, you know, and that's the same with anything that you do in life with your careers, with your relationships.
Just like, you know, the old adage, some people are there for a season, some people are there for a lifetime. So I feel like, I don't know what necessarily justifies the end point and the start point of a chapter. I think change has a lot to do with that. Change usually initiates Yeah.
The season being different and, and who knows how long that season will last. A lot of times, you know, change starts with a decision, you can decide to start a new chapter. You can decide to end one at any time, you know? Yes.
Well just, you know, quitting drinking, I mean, that started a whole new chapter. A whole chapter. Oh gosh. We can look at the, the recovery season because we're, I'm gonna ask you about recovery and, and what that means to you. We're gonna talk about that as well. Okay. And anything that you find challenging about your age and getting older?
I think that challenging is like the changes of like, kind of how you view the future. When you're younger, you feel like you have all this time, and the older that you get, you're like, am I finding myself limited in the amount of time I have left to do a certain thing? You know, I think that you think about that thing, that stuff more, you know, it's like, okay, well if I wanna accomplish this goal, is this a realistic goal for me right now?
And do I need to get on it now? Or do I have the next 20 years to accomplish this goal? You know, I think that when you're younger, the concept of time is not in the forefront. It wasn't for me. I felt that I had all the time of the world, and now as I get older, the thought of time is there. You know?
I'd say that's the biggest Yeah. Thought at times, you know? . Go ahead, Lee. No, it's like for me too, it's like. I never thought I said this to a friend the other day. I've never ever had an issue with getting older, but it never occurred to me. I would look different.
Like how dumb, you know, that like we would actually age, age, you know, and that you would see different things and wrinkles and the way your skin looks like. It never, ever occurred to me, like people would complain about getting old. I'm like, Ugh, get over it. You know? But then as you start to age, you know, you realize that,
there are lots of changes. Changes, you know? Yeah. What I was thinking, Anne, when you were talking, it's that season of life that we're in where we realize, We have, what did somebody say the other day to me?
I have lived more years than I have probably in front of me. I have more years behind. Let me like talk like a normal person here. I've lived.
Try, try hard, please. I have more she behind me than I do in front of me. Yeah. being in that season of life where you realize that and then it's like, okay, I, I know we were talking this morning, we were talking about cars and I mentioned bucket list, right? Yeah. And like, not that a car, is on my bucket list, but also the conversation we were having around it was like, no car payment, all cash for a new car.
Right. That would be something, because I would like a new car before I leave this life. I'm thinking about that kind of stuff right now. Yeah. I'm thinking, okay, maybe that would be, yeah, probably my last car, you know? Yeah. Like that way, like this will be my last experience. Yeah. Okay. So like being in that season of life where you're looking at things and you are taking action on the things that really matter to you and changing, how do you feel like age and being women who are not drinking alcohol anymore, how does that factor into you being able to make those changes?
Does it. I think there comes a level of confidence once you've entered a big challenge like quitting drinking and you've accomplished that, then you kind of come at the next big change or the next big thing that you wanna do with a little more confidence then you maybe would've had if you were still drinking.
So I feel like that helps in this. Like, I feel confident in the decision making now that I'm at, at this point in my life. Like if I decide, you know, we were talking about vehicles, but I wanna go buy a new truck, you know, it's like, okay, I'm gonna go do it. I don't feel like I need to have huge conversations with myself about that decision.
It brings much more clarity. Clarity, yeah. What about entrepreneurship for you? What has that taught you about taking action? You have to, there's no way around it. There's no way around it. You cannot go back and forth on decisions and be a successful entrepreneur.
That that's one thing that when you really look at the history of people that have failed, 'cause you're gonna fail regardless in this, but you're gonna be successful too if you make the decisions. The people that wait and wait and wait to make decisions do not get, there. No.
It's all wrapped up. Every bit of it. Recovery, entrepreneurship, all of it is all intertwined with dis making the decision and withholding the discipline to create the change, to move forward. An entrepreneur lifestyle is nothing but discipline. It's getting up every single day like we talked about earlier.
Setting the micro goals that move you 1% forward. It's this exact same thing in sobriety and recovery. It's getting up every single day saying, today is the day that I will do these things in order to, make the changes I need in my life. There's no difference. Just the end goal is different. Yeah, absolutely.
And remind us, did you have a lot of discipline before you stopped drinking? I think we've always been disciplined and goal oriented, but it was easy to let the drinking filter in, filter in and whenever, you know, for us it was like once you made that step to drink that day, all other discipline and goals went out the window.
'cause it was like that overtook everything, you know. I think we've always been disciplined to an extent, and we've always been goal oriented and we've accomplished a lot, even when we were drinking. Right. But it was not the same type of accomplishments, you know? It was never just on track. There was lots of falling off, lots of detouring, all of that.
Lots of, we should have gotten this done, but we chose to drink. Yeah. Well, I mean, we never missed work, we never did those type of things, and we could, accomplish goals. But if you look back on it and you're like, okay, have we not had the interference of alcohol? There would've been a lot more.
Consistency. Yes. Hundred percent. Discipline. Yeah, it does. It interferes. As you start getting older, and we've talked about this so much on the podcast here, it takes away days. It's not just like the next morning, you know, there's such a change. Of course, as we get older, we don't process it like we used to.
I wanted to have the good times like my 20-year-old self would. And honestly, I mean, I was in my thirties when I should have recognized this is why I am feeling more sad and more hungover. And then in my forties when I got to that point at 45, it was like yeah, I can't even function anymore.
Yeah. Based off of like having two days outta the week where I felt. Okay. And that was drinking a couple days a week. So like recognizing that for ourselves and how much alcohol, you know, it, like, I like to say it's not you, it's alcohol. Alcohol will get in there and it just interferes with so much.
And if you want to be especially an entrepreneur or, you know, building a business or doing anything challenging in life, we've gotta h our what's about us? We've gotta have that clarity and that energy that alcohol just robs us of. Absolutely. 100. Absolutely.
Let me ask you one more thing about like the aging topic and how is perimenopause for you? Are you open to talking about that? Yeah, it's been a challenge in some areas. I mean, I don't feel like I've experienced it as horrible as some people have said, you know, I think that's been the hardest part of aging. Some as seeing those changes come in, like you, you know, the tiredness. Or, you know, why you can't sleep, you know, like, I've never had a problem. I felt like with sleep. Yeah, sleep's been an issue. Feeling lethargic in the afternoon and then trying to figure out like how to make those changes.
And of course hot flashes, which I've not had as bad as some people, those have been kind of eyeopening and I'm so grateful I'm not drinking through them. I cannot imagine how bad that would've felt on top of these issues. However, I can see why if you can't sleep, people can get into a routine of that nightly drinking because it does help you in that where you think it helps you, it's hindering you the next day, but it may help you sleep at night.
I can see where people and the middle age of life can get stuck in that and have talked to friends that have gotten stuck into that. So I'm grateful that I quit before we went. Oh yeah, me too. Me too. that's one of those reasons why women, and it's a good reason. It let it be enough. Like I'm going through perimenopause, I'm, I can't drink anymore. Yeah. I noticed on Bethany Frankel's Instagram post the other day.
It was just like recently this weekend. Bethany Frankel is, what would you say she is? She's , a business woman for sure. Sure. She, I know her from the real Hamas of New York. New York, the OGs. Yeah. I can take her a leaver but I respect her, openness in her honesty.
Yeah. And she was talking about what she drank Yes. The night before. Did you see it? Yeah, I commented on it. Oh, I didn't see it. What happened? Oh, we did? Yeah. Oh, she went on a first date. Was it a first date? It was a second date, yeah, it was a second date.
The first night. She didn't drink very much, but then they went out again. So let's just say she drank a lot and mixture of different alcohol. And she said that she was eating a grape while she was talking. And like the caption said, grow up, like, stop, grow up, stop drinking like this.
And if you looked at the comments I was noticing a lot of the comments were oh my gosh. Yeah. I stopped drinking years ago. I, you know, I'm 54, I'm 45, I'm all these different ages. Like I can't do it anymore. I cannot handle alcohol anymore. I saw a lot of those comments. What about you, Lee?
That's what I saw. And I saw a lot of people that were saying, get it together, you're out dating, you wanna be clear and see who you're with and enjoy the night. And you know, I just, it just immediately when I saw that, I was just like, oh, thank God I quit drinking. Like I just, it immediately takes you back to that place where you're like, , I'm so thankful that I never have to feel that way again because it wasn't like she was projecting any amount of shame because there is no shame in going out and get hammered.
I mean, you know, do what? She's a grown woman. She's 55 or whatever, she can do whatever she wants. Mm-hmm. But like she said, you know, grow up and it's obvious because there's such a culture around like, let's have two glasses of wine. She's like, we had two glasses of wine with dinner and then I had like three margaritas and then I drank.
'Cause it was just one of those all night events that you're just sitting around. It's just drink after drink after drink. And, and that's what happens. You know? And it's very rare that you are around a group of people, especially when you're drinkers like we are, that are like. We're just gonna have one and go to the house, you know, or whatever.
, That doesn't happen. No. And I think it, like what she said, you know, grow up there is a level of like, you know, are we still gonna continue to perpetrate drinking in our fifties the way that we did when we were 18? 'cause it's the same thing. Well, unfortunately she was on a TV show that did that.
Yeah, for sure. I can't say out of the cast that she was somebody I ever remember as getting no drunk on camera For sure. Compared to that cast, especially. Yeah. The OGs were my favorite. The reason that I brought that up is just to normalize the fact that, gosh, we're going through this change of life, this new season, these new chapters, . Especially if you're going through perimenopause and you're feeling that pull, like, I don't think this mixes anymore. I don't think it mixes well with aging. I'm feeling more anxious. I'm having a hard time recovering from alcohol. I can't get back on track. All of those things, normalizing it and saying that's enough.
And if uncle Bob asks you at the family party, why aren't you drinking? You say, I'm going through perimenopause Uncle Bob back off. Back him off. And he will. Yeah, he will. He'll leave you alone. we were talking about the recent Gallup poll.
It's about habit consumption that they do in America and it's the alcohol consumption is at a 90 year low. And the reason is for health. So what we were talking about before we started recording, and I wanted to get your take on it because when you're on Instagram, you see a lot of people now sharing this news. Of course, it's great news. Dr. Mark Hyman. He had a post up about it that I was reading and I noticed people in there coming in and saying, it's a fad, it's trendy, like living alcohol free is this thing that's going to go away. What are your thoughts? Give it to me real, what are your thoughts around this being like a trend or a fad?
Oh, I don't think it's a fad. I, I don't think it's a fad. I think that finally we have people doctors and professionals and people like you said are talking about it. Just regular people on Instagram that are sober and proud to be sober, and they're talking about the side effects of alcohol and what it's doing to their health.
Yeah. You know, and people are starting to see that, just because what's been glorified in a marketing scheme to tell you that it's great at five o'clock you should go out with your buddies and drink, you know that there is a side effect to that now. A hundred percent. It's not just being hung over, you know, it's actually harming your heart or it leads to cancer, or there are things that happen from drinking and I think people are, are becoming more aware that it's not just.
A good time. There are things that are gonna happen. Yeah. With overconsumption of alcohol. Definitely. This episode's gonna release on September 3rd, right at the beginning of National Recovery Month and National Recovery Month started in 1989.
Wow. To raise awareness to educate people around substance use and mental health issues. And when we talk about it openly and there is education out there, there is the lessening of the stigma and I am on board with this, and it is one of the reasons why I started this podcast. I just figured there's somebody out there. Who's a lot like me, who needs to hear there is another option because I didn't believe it. When I stopped drinking, I thought I was going to go on with life and I'm just not going to drink.
I'm taking something away from my life. That meant a lot to me, and it really was something that I know that I built my identity around. Yep. So after I gave up alcohol, I thought, well, you're just gonna go on and live life and now you're going to be deprived because you're not gonna have your friend, you're not gonna have that right or die.
You're not gonna have fun anymore. That's what I believed. It's nothing that I would ever poo poo because that was my belief because of 30 years of drinking alcohol. So I didn't go into it with this mindset of, I'm adding something to my life that I'm adding like this hundred percent this open-ended road that is gonna allow me time to heal, time to figure out who I am and figure out more about why I was drinking, and figure out things that I enjoy doing that is not alcohol.
And there's so much to recovery and there's so many different meanings and it's personal. The language that we use. Words really do matter. Our identity matters, especially as we get older and looking at recovery as, you know, something that we hear, I'm in recovery
This is why I want to talk about this topic because I look at it as it's something that is for everyone. Of course. For all kinds of different things. And it's very beautiful. Oh, it's just a, it's a beautiful thing. How do you view recovery, Anne? I, I mean, I feel like that when I have always looked at recovery as healing,
it's kind of like if you have a chance to look at two stores and one is full of bad things, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, all that, and then there's another store next door that's full of all the good things that you could do for yourself once you come out of the bad store. You get to go in there and you just keep, to add to your cart all the healing things that you can give yourself through recovery.
You know, I mean, it's been for me, I mean. I used to have the worst anxiety about smoking, you know? I've enjoyed smoking. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I enjoyed it. I mean, went together, you know. But every time we would wake up, hung over, and I had smoked a pack of cigarettes, I was just like, oh my God.
You know, I mean, your dad died from cancer and you're sitting here just chain smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol, and he had a drinking problem. What are you doing? And it was just in your mind constantly. You cannot outrun that thought process. But then when you stop and you decide to go in the other store, you're like, oh my God, I'm going to yoga.
I'm adding this, I'm adding that. And those thoughts disappear. You're healing. Recovery was all about healing, becoming healthy. People can define recovery however they want. Use whatever word makes you feel. Well, if you don't feel good about saying, you know, I'm in recovery, you just say, I gave up that lifestyle so I can be healthy.
You know, whatever works. Yeah. There's a positive, it's about healing who you. Your body and who your mind, and I mean, adding positive things back into your life Yeah. Was for me. I love that. , You know, I love a good analogy and that is so easy to wrap your, mind around that visual you're going through the store and as you're going through the different seasons, the different chapters, you're adding different things that you need at that time.
And maybe you're putting things back on the shelf that you no longer need. Like we can just go on and on with that. Oh, for sure. When you stopped drinking, was there a fear around the language ? Yeah. I didn't wanna use the word sober because I feel like, and like we talked about earlier before we started recording this, that like, there's becoming like a kind of a cultural shift with drinking.
And I think that back when we all started drinking that, if you had a problem, you went to AA into the basement of a church and no one ever spoke your name. Like, you never talked about it. There was like a weird handshake, like, you know, it's just like this weird thing that you're in, you know?
And it's like I didn't wanna have any stigma that like, I was seen as a drunk or have a drinking promises. I didn't wanna use the word, well, now I'm sober. You know? I just was really apprehensive and anxiety ridden about like what I was, like the terminology that I was gonna be using with myself. But like Ann said, she saw it as healing for me. It was about changing my identity.
Becoming the person that I identified with and wanted to be. I wanted to get away from the label of the party girl, and I wanted to get into the label of, she's very athletic. She, they're up every Saturday, not morning at a trail run they're doing. Like, I wanted to be that type of person. So that was the identity shift for me, alcohol in my life.
It starts out as a love affair and it ends with an abusive relationship. And that's basically how I viewed it, it started out as a great love of partying in college and having fun. And then it ends in a very abusive situation. You don't know you're in it until you leave it.
Mm-hmm. And so, mm-hmm. Once you get that clarity, once you get away from it and you can start shifting the identity using whatever labels you want. For me it was just, I'm not drinking anymore. That was the label. I don't drink anymore. And now I have no issue with anything. Probably they sober, I'm probably sober tto or, you know, ex party girl, you know, whatever you wanna call me.
That's fine. That comes with time. Yeah. That comes with confidence, you know, and , the only way to gain confidence is to do the scary part. Like, that's the only way to get confident in anything, you know? So the more days you have, the more months you have, the more years you have.
That's, that's where the confidence comes in to be truly who you wanna be, you know? I love both of your answers to that. 'cause the purpose of talking about it is, 'cause we all know that language is scary and it can hold you back. Yeah. I'm not saying to anybody like, it's no big deal.
You'll figure it out. It's not. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It is. You know, the language that we use, the way that we identify, it's a big deal. But listening to your answers, I feel is gonna give somebody hope if they are worried about that as far as moving forward without alcohol and making that change for themselves.
Because everything changes in time. And I wasn't saying sober or sobriety. I was writing af in my journal like a code, I was very worried about that. And I also didn't identify with that. That's why I didn't choose to go to AA, among other reasons, because I was so embarrassed by the fact that I couldn't drink and I would never get up in a room and talk about it.
Right. Yeah, But people are talking about it more, I only hope that women will look at it okay. It doesn't matter the language. What matters is what I do going forward. It matters how I can approach this and add more of the good stuff to my life while I'm figuring this out.
And I will say, for me, there has been very, very few occasions personally in my life where I have to respond and say, I am sober or I am in recovery, or anything like that. With, and we can choose with that, like you said, with, I don't drink or, you know, a lot of the women that I work with will say I'm alcohol free.
Or I had one client who said, I'm zero proof. Because it is important and to recognize that and, and prepare yourself if it does come up. But it's not come up in a place where I will say of course back then, you know, I am sober or , I am somebody in recovery yeah. 'cause we can all be sober. Sober is like, I'm not drinking today. . And then I believe that sobriety, that, I mean recovery, that's that time where you build that support system that helps you stay alcohol free and, and the different tools and practices that we use during that time.
And it is healing. I heard the one idea or a quote, it's coming home to yourself. It's coming back, it's like living authentically and being in that place. Going forward with the recovery theme, you had mentioned something already during this episode about sleep, and then we were also talking about it before our call. Mm-hmm. Just give us a rundown on your sleep routine and sleep mindset that you have going, well, I mean, I think a and I both have just during this whole perimenopause journey, has struggled, has struggled greatly with sleep. And Lori, I mean, I know you have too. We've discussed this numerous times and just, just here recently and I just kind of had this little come to Jesus Yap. Where we were just like, here's the deal, you know?
We're only getting like five to six hours of sleep a night. And even if that doesn't even mean that it's uninterrupted, but I'm just gonna embrace it. There are plenty of entrepreneurs that run on very little sleep. As long as I am not absolutely exhausted throughout the day. Go on with it, you know, stop trying to fit what used to work.
Like, I used to need eight hours of sleep. Clearly don't need that anymore. I used to get in bed at nine o'clock and was asleep by 10. Yeah, it's not gonna happen. Yeah. So I'm in the bed at 10 and I read until 1130 and I'm seeing that as a positive.
In the afternoons I'd have an iced coffee. I'm like, if I start getting sluggish, it's like I'm gonna have me a little, pick me up a little coffee or a thing of electrolytes, just something to add a little bit of caffeine to the rest of my day and just go on with it. That's all in part of embracing what the season that you're in.
This is a part of this season in my thirties, I stayed out till three in the morning drinking and still made it to work by six. So that was the season that I was in. Yeah. This season. So this season, yeah. And the gift of time, I don't need eight hours. I can function apparently on six, and now I've got to read more and we're going into fall and it's gonna be good.
I'm gonna use it to five wisely. Cozy time. I love that. It's on theme with the seasons with recovery and allowing yourself to change things up, honestly, because my sleep story is, I'm not sleeping. Oh my gosh, I'm not sleeping.
And so then I started to focus on, well, what are the things that I can do the next day that help me when I don't sleep? I'm very much in that season of my life where I'm asking what can I do about it? Like not repeating the same stuff that has no resolve to it. So I appreciate that and I love that we are on that same journey as far as like sleeping and just recognizing that it's okay if we're sleeping less.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can't force it to sleep more honestly. I wanna ask you kind of like a rapid fire question and then I want to talk about front porch life and your fall magazine coming up. And when do you feel your. Like what time of the day or just what, like when do you feel your best, it could be time of day or something that you do for yourself and you just feel like, oh, I feel good.
Well, I feel my best when I accomplish what I put on my list. Like when I stay busy and I get it done, that's a high for me. I have noticed that in the last six weeks that when you get it done, you're bouncing off the walls, you're happy that you finished what you said you were gonna do, you know? As far as the time of day in the morning or at night, I, I mean that the middle of the day is when I'm my sluggish.
But yeah, I jump out of bed in the morning, you know? Yeah. I, I do love my mornings, but yeah, I've found that when I'm busier, I seem to feel better, you know? And that's a new development. New page in the chapter. Lee, what about you?
Yeah, I feel probably the best when I, as soon as I get done working out. Yeah. Like, I feel like totally rejuvenated. I feel like I'm ready to tackle the day. I said to Anne this morning, , as soon as I got done running, I'm like, I never ever regret doing it. There's times where I don't wanna do it, but I never regret doing it.
It's the same with recovery. I've never woke up sober and thought, man, I wish I'd partied last night. Not one time have I ever woke up sober and said, I wish I'd have went out and stayed out all night, got shitfaced drunk, you know, ever. So that's when I feel my best is when I just get it, get it done, , and feel rejuvenated about like the decisions that I've made.
Like Anne said, like I decided to work out. I got it done. I feel the best when I do what I say I'm gonna do. Yeah. Yeah. When you do what you say you're gonna do, I feel that energy from both of you, you feel your best and definitely in the morning working out for me also. And it is that reminder. It's not about being skinny or anything like that anymore.
It is that reminder for me, number one is that you are gonna feel so much better after you do this and you're never gonna regret getting it done. Exactly right. Yeah, exactly. Talk about your favorite beauty ritual right now, Lee.
You guys are always trying new products and things, I feel like. Yeah, well my favorite new product, I'm gonna tell you, game changer is the wow hair products. Yeah. I'm obsessed with the wow hair products because like we've talked about this a hundred times, Ann and I both have fine hair, like, you know, kind of thin fine hair.
And so keeping body in my hair and not having to wash my hair every single day has been. A challenge because I feel like with fine hair, you feel like if you wanted to have any body, you need to wash it. Like all these people are like, oh, you know, I curl my hair on the ninth day. I don't know what you're talking about.
Like that's never, that's never gonna happen with me. But the wow hair, it's called extra large. You put it on your hair when you get outta the shower, or you could put it on dry and then blow dry. It's heat activated. It adds so much volume to my hair. Yes. That it's just been a complete game changer. And their texture spray, yeah.
Is not heavy or gummy. I love their texture spray. That's why I ask because every single conversation, it seems like we have, you tell me or we share something that we're doing for ourselves right now, and I have that in my Amazon cart right now. I'm not sure if it is the what are extra large, but I'm gonna look at it because you know me, I have fine hair and it's like I, you'll love it.
You're thinning around. The front is bumming me out. So I'm gonna check on that and I'm gonna link anything that you mention is gonna be linked in the show notes. Tell me about life on the Farm. What does it look like? What is your routine? Because you know me, I'm a Southern California girl. What are you doing on the farm?
Gosh, we have so much going on, it seems like. What's the name of the farm? Tell us the name of the farm first. The farm. The farm that we just purchased where I live. This is Lee speaking. Me and my husband live. And Ann, we'll eventually build a house out here. It is called Evening Shade.
And it's a 50 acre farm outside of central Kentucky. And we do not have horses, horses here, though. We'll be here next week. Our horses are all co coming together to be here next week. And Anne has two horses over at her place, which is our original homestead that we bought when we were in our late twenties.
So Anne is still over there, which is only like eight miles from me. And we have a, a great little routine. When we get up every morning, Ann goes and feeds the horses there. She calls me and I walk, walk outside and walk the dog. So she feeds and then we talk and we talk on the phone and usually about business.
Yep. That's a major conversation. We catch up, it's like seven in the morning. We go over our plans for the day. What we're working on and things like that. And then like this coming week, we have a, oh, we'll have a, a dove shoot. I don't know how it is in southern California, but dove hunting is huge in the south.
Today is opening day. It's a very traditional thing. And for southerners to dove hunt, Lee's husband planted his own dove field. So, so we have an event every year called Doves and dinner. And so he will invite all the shooters and so all the shooters come out and they'll start shooting at like four in the afternoon and they'll shoot for like two hours and then while they're shooting, and I prepare a huge dinner and then all the hunters will come in and their wives show up and the kids and everything.
And we feed everybody. We have a dinner out on the front porch. A lot of fun. And then we get to go boxes for everybody and everybody takes to go boxes home so they can have food the next day. We're planning that right now. We will have doves and dinner Friday evening.
So. There'll be about, wow. 25, 30 people here. It's incredible. And honestly it does feels like two different worlds. I remember your doves and dinner from last year, 'cause that seems like it wasn't that long ago. And all of the, photos and everything.
Did you put that in the magazine last year? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Okay. Are you gonna do it again this year? Would it be like in the winter issue? It will be in the subscriber section of the digital version for fall. Yeah, we'll add it. Okay. We won't come out until the end of the month, so we'll be able to add.
And you have wonderful photos of the farm on your Instagram, your Facebook. there's pictures on personal Facebook, but not on satellite Cook not on Southern Lady Cook. So the Southern Lady Cooks is on Facebook and Front Porch Life and the farm I is on Instagram. Yeah. Okay, because I'm gonna link those.
'cause I just want everybody to see the sunflowers. I mean, what is that looking like right now? Yeah. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah. Yes. Beautiful. Yeah. Very lucky. Been magical. We're very blessed. We've, you know, it's been a long time coming, but we're glad it's here. 25 years. 25 years. That's how long it took to get it.
So dreams come true, but you have to just put your head down and work every single day. And you both work so hard and your mom and you guys have done just such a beautiful job for yourselves.
I'm loving this for you right now, that you can enjoy this time in your lives because you have worked so hard and still continue to work and see the future and where you guys are going and the changes that you're going to make. I'm just proud of you. I really Well, thank, thank you.
You're such a blessing. Such a blessing. We look forward to our phone calls. So much like it's just your friendship is it's been amazing. Huge. I love our phone. We've been this for like six years. I mean, yeah. Yeah. It's Wow. Yeah. We've been consistent too. Yeah. We've been consistent. So, yeah. I mean, whenever you want me to come to the farm, just let me know.
Yes. And I'm gonna come out because, well, I think what we definitely have to get you here as soon as the cottage, we get it cleaned out and then get it set up. We film a podcast from the cottage. From the cottage. Ooh, that would be fun. Your podcast? Yeah. Or yours? Or yours. Your podcast. We'll, podcast, yeah.
Front Porch Life podcast. I'm gonna be there for it. Yeah. Okay. Couple more questions I have to share and then I wanna talk about the magazine. What are you reading right now, Ann? I just finished like, oh, right before this phone call. I just set it down. I just read the last page of The Great Alone by Kristen Hannah, which I'm sure probably everybody's.
I've heard it. That's so funny. See, we always like land on the same stuff. I just started The Nightingale and that is my next one. I, 'cause I read the description of that and I'm very interested in it.
Yeah, it's a good book. Yeah. Yeah. Good book. It's good to like that. Yeah. You'll like it. I would need to, I haven't read The Nightingale, so I'm gonna pick that one up. Or the women, whichever they have at the library this afternoon I loved the women. Yeah. And yeah, I, my mom loved that book.
The Women, that was her favorite one. Becker Sonna. I'm Reading Winter Rose, which is the second book in Jennifer Donnelley's three series. The first one was the T Rose and this, this one is the Winter Rose. And they're actually really, really good. They take place in London. It's like they're historical fictions, but they're strong women characters that are entrepreneurs.
From that time period. She does very well writing about that. Okay. What are you watching on tv? I just watched the entire the Leanne series on Netflix for Leanne Morgan, the comedian. Oh, love. And I loved it 'cause it took place in the south and she's from Knoxville. And I just, I thought it was adorable and I loved him. Oh, I loved Tim, Tim Daley for wings.
And I just like, oh my gosh. I thought it was great. And the girl from Third Rock, from the Sun, and she was in Sex in the City. I absolutely adore her. And she was on mall. Yeah. So I'm a sick, I'm just such a Tim Daily. I loved wings. Like I just loved wings. So Wings Reminds Me of You. That's one of my husband's favorite shows.
Lowell and the whole cast. I loved it too. And I think about you with like older shows. Yes. My sister loves older shows. She's a huge, I love Lucy fan and she'll watch like, leave it to Bieber. I mean, honestly, like she watches those shows, you know? And I wanna get that more in my life. Leanne Morgan.
Fantastic. I'm halfway through that series. Oh, good. She's so funny. And I found her on YouTube one night when I wasn't sleeping and she was on Amy Puller's podcast. I saw that. It was a really good interview.
I really enjoyed it. Okay, Lee, what are you watching? Phillip and I are watching FBI. True. So it's a show about where they interview FBI agents about the cases of their career, like the biggest case that they took down. So I'm a total crime junkie, so I'm always watching Dateline 48 hours. 2020. 2020. That's, she's on of all, yeah.
. Do you feel like maybe you could be like a private investigator without having Loved it, go through school? Yeah, I would've loved it. And my husband would've been an incredible detective. So yeah. I just get wrapped up into these FBI and you know, now that you have streaming, it's like endless.
You can find 'em anywhere. Oh, and there's so many documentaries out with the true stories and everything too. Yes. I think of you girls when I see those as well. Have you ever watched Only murders in the building with Martin Short and Steve Martin. And Selena Gomez. So cute. They have a podcast and they're solving crimes in their New York apartment building.
I haven't even finished the last season, but it's a really cute show. Oh, I'll have to look at really cute. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I love it. Okay. Talk about Front Porch Life in the fall issue. What is inside? We're currently wrapping up our fall issue. It'll be out in a couple of weeks.
We have some really neat interviews. This issue. One is with Angie Comby, who is 70 years old from Valdosta, Georgia, and she retired from a long career for like 30 or 40 years, and she took up custom stitching, and making heirloom linens and napkins.
And her work is absolutely insane and she's just created a whole new business at 70 years old. And it's just like, never too late. And her message in the fall issue is, that's what it's about. It's never too late. And, she is having the time of her life and she has a little Instagram and her photos are absolutely stunning.
Her videos, and she is having a blast. She's become social media. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. She's fantastic at it. And then we did an interview with Tara at RS Pi Haven, which is outside of round top Texas. She owns a pie shop there. And her father bought a little cafe. This is a town of like 45 people. I mean, round top is tiny.
Her father bought a cafe and she started selling pies in it. And they just went over gangbusters. She opened her own pie shop and now she's shipping them all over the world. And now she does like. Family dinners in round top for the homeless. She's created this entire movement.
So yeah. That's a good article. Yeah, it's, it's a great feature. So this fall issue is gonna have some great interviews. It will have some great fall recipes, book list, cozy movies for the fall from like the eighties and nineties, the best ones to watch from back then. And yeah, our favorite fall drinks, we put a lot of our like iced coffees and stuff like that in there.
It comes out September 20th you said? Yep. Okay. , I wanna get the cozy movie list. Spencer has made an omo. That's our word around the house is right now, Al. And we watched, the Fugitive over the weekend with Harrison Ford Harrison that was on his list.
And he's like, have you ever watched that? I, yes, the Fugitive. It's such a good, and he, we were watching, he's like, I don't think this is a Mol. I think it's more winter. I think it was still really good. But he is got a whole list of movies. Last night we watched The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. I don't, it's just like old movies right now.
Now I love that. I'm just loving them. I'm loving them. Yeah. This was so much fun. Thank you so much. I love, I love talking you, Lori. Anytime. I love talking to you girls and I was looking forward to really talking about recovery and aging and, and just having a nice conversation here.
Do you have a, a sweet message to leave our listeners with? If anybody's out there who's feeling like either they're, not in that place where they are feeling their best with getting older and they're in that place where they are really coming to terms with being somebody who is a non drinker.
Any words of encouragement, Lee? I think that my encouragement would be that view it as freedom and not a jail. You are a the curator and the creator and the writer of your own story. You can make it however you want it. It's the story you tell yourself. And it's not what you need to define to anyone else, but to you, you can build it any way you want.
Yeah. And you can view and build your recovery and your identity any way that you would like. And just remember that you are always in control. Yeah. Gratitude. Be grateful. Taking a step away from alcohol and, I mean, it takes change and there's a lot of changes that come with it that are probably very hard in the beginning, and you are gonna be viewing the hard, but just keep your eye on where you're going.
I mean, it's all worth it in the end. It's all, it's worth it. Yeah. It really is, and recognizing how time is really a gift and everything changes in time. We just gotta give ourselves that time because there's no rushing it. If we can just wrap our arms around the beauty of time and recovery and healing and just like, ugh. Go live your life and and find yourself there. It's a beautiful gift. Thank you. I am gonna have everything that we've talked about, link down below in the show notes for you listeners there, and I will see you next week.
I have Amber Hollingsworth. She's coming in on the podcast. She is from Put the Shovel Down, and she has a phenomenal YouTube channel she is talking about the change that comes with changing your drinking and also support for family members who are managing life with somebody who is coming out of addiction and into recovery.
And so that's a fantastic episode though. Thank you so much for listening. Take care of yourself this week. Peace.
Hey, there! I’m Lori, the host of the To 50 and Beyond podcast.
Where aging and living alcohol-free is an advantage, not a limitation.
To 50 and Beyond is about self-discovery, aging well on your terms, and designing an alcohol-free life that alcohol doesn’t stand a chance against.
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